What Are Some Alternatives to Finding Happiness That Focus on Collective Well-Being Rather Than Individual Self-Improvement?
How much does our individual emotional state affect the people around us? How much do others affect us? What is most helpful for improving the collective spirit?
Several studies show that it is incorrect to regard a person as an isolated unit, because we are all products of the influences of our environment. People change their definitions and values, goals and objectives, pleasures and sources of enjoyment according to what they absorb from others. And in today’s world, where we are all interconnected, humanity is like one small society. Beyond the influences we can clearly see, there are many invisible channels, countless networks and inner threads through which information passes from each person to everyone else. Accordingly, we transmit desires, emotions, moods, thoughts, and reflections to one another. This is the bigger picture. Now let us look at the details.
Suppose we arrive at work in a less-than-great mood and see someone in front of us who is in a wonderful mood. Feeling the contrast stings a little and puts us in an uncomfortable position. We now have three options: a) try not to pay attention to them so that we do not feel worse because they are doing well and we are not; b) make some remark that brings them down a little; or c) receive their wonderful mood from them.
People already know how to do options A and B on their own, so let us focus on option C. A positive atmosphere in which people lift one another up instead of bringing one another down does not happen by itself.
By comparison, when our child is in a good mood, we enjoy seeing them that way and pray that they will keep smiling throughout their life. Our love for the child opens us up to receiving their positive energy. At work, however, relationships are naturally different.
In order to receive someone else’s mood, we need to respect them and feel that we are friends, that they are connected to us, dear to us, and important in our eyes. If we succeed in building such a connection between us, we can help one another achieve a good mood, joy, and even happiness.
What can prepare us for this is the recognition that we depend on one another. It is worthwhile to sit together and talk about different situations in life that demonstrate how much a person can be influenced by their environment, either negatively or positively. For example, we can discuss how people measure their situation in comparison with others, how our standards of measurement are always relative, how deeply social a creature the human being is and how much we are influenced by what others say and do, how we absorb the moods of those around us, and how we are affected by our family environment, our relationships, our workplace, the roads, social media, the media, our country, and the world.
These and other examinations that we undertake together will bring us closer to recognizing that each of us needs to protect ourselves from negative influences and increase positive influences as much as possible.
From here, it would be worthwhile to establish a “mood pact” between us. This pact would define our commitment to project positivity toward one another. If one of us notices that someone else is not in a good mood that day, they should try to lift them up, with a kind word, a hug, perhaps by singing them something, or anything else that might bring them joy. For example, we might approach that person and say, “I have something delicious here. Come on, let’s split it fifty-fifty.”
Actions like these build connection, a platform through which we can transmit strength to one another. Incidentally, when someone puts another person in a good mood, it gives them twice the happiness themselves. The dynamic follows the principle: “One who lights one candle from another, the first burns and the other loses nothing.” Even small gestures, such as occasionally bringing a good cake or a bottle of wine for everyone, help build connection. They show others that we thought about them and wanted to make them happy.
Even if someone arrives from home in a terrible mood, even if something bad has happened in their family, the others can always help lift their spirits. They can open up a broader perspective for them, show them that others have gone through similar situations and how they managed to overcome them, surround them with warmth and support, and give them the feeling: We are here for you.
The stronger the connection we build, the more we will be able to extend a hand to each person and help them out of their distress. A person surrounded by a good environment can go through anything in good spirits, even their final moments before departing this world.
One small tip to conclude: In order to lift another person’s mood, first connect to the positive force that permeates all of reality and wholeheartedly wish to pass it on to them. Prepare yourself to project a positive attitude, connection, and warmth, and then approach that person with a loving smile, even without words.
If we try to relate to one another in this way, we will discover that life is a continuous series of opportunities to rise together, higher and higher.
Based on "New Life 221 – Happiness as a Collective Phenomenon" with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.