Oren: Hello, welcome to New Life educational series with Dr. Michael Laitman. Hello, Dr. Laitman.
Dr. Laitman: Hello, everyone.
Oren. Hello, Nitzah Massos. Along with you, we want to learn from Dr. Laitman how to build our life as the new life. What is a new life? Simply a better life, a happier life, when we wake up in the morning with a great light in our eyes and we are happy that we are living instead of just turning the alarm clock off ten times and being sorry that it rang and the new day is starting. New life, like we have learned from you so far in these discussions, is where the connections between us, the relations between us are renewed, where the good life is between us, hidden between us. And we cannot find this treasure that is here under our hands and if we know how to put our hands on it and open it, we will be able to enjoy it and grow more and more and more together.
Today, want to start a new series of talks that takes us from talking about all kinds of connections between people. Today, we want to reach the most natural unit in reality and that is the family unit. We want to gradually understand how to take our life from this family unit to a new place, a new horizon, a new hope. We want to give people tools that explain how we can use our home as a place where we grow as people that are capable as parents, as children, as older and younger family members and create new relationships with every person, no matter who they are and take life to a new place, a new hope. That is our direction today. Nitzah, take us into the program.
Nitzah: Maybe the first stage is to talk about the reason why we even feel the need to talk about a thing that is so natural. We go from being a couple to the connection between us. We reach a wider connection that becomes a family connection. The connection of two people creates, gives birth to another connection and that creates a process of expansion and creation of this family unit.
So the question is: If it is so natural, why do we have to learn to be parents? And we see that over the last years, this need is growing because something that was so natural once upon a time that we did not have to think about too much, over the last few years, it’s started taking on new forms. And as parents, we have developed a need to receive information. We have a need to know how to organize this system called the family. What values do we need to penetrate? All these things are not clear. As a result of this we can say that in the world and in Israel that there are many methods on how to teach parents how to raise a family. Meaning, first of all the parent goes through this process, through some change, and then this process that he goes through is passed on to his family unit. And the results show at the end of the day, that even though there are lots of nice, wonderful methods, and we read lots of books, and we go through many workshops and processes, when we look at the results, the bottom line is that we see that the family unit is going through a very big… starting to fall apart. We cannot pull it together; we cannot build it in the correct manner. And that is the reason why we are here in the studio and here in this show today. We want to hear from you, as an expert on connections between people, relations between people, how we build this family connection in a loving, healthy manner that represents a foundation for the existence of the big society that is made up of family units, healthy family units.
So maybe the first question is as an opening to this process is the human need for family. Why do we have a need like this and why are we naturally inclined to build family units?
Dr. Laitman: We need to begin, not from a need in the family or family units, but by the fact that we develop. I always start, actually, from the Big Bang and the development of the material, the still to the vegetative degree, to the living degree, to the animal degree. We are a result of the animal degree. And that is where we develop.
And just like in the inanimate, there are combinations between the various materials there. Those are for, those are against. They have different kinds of electrons that they connect through. Even at the inanimate level.
Afterwards there is the vegetative level. There are seasons of connection between them, either through them, or through the wind, or through the birds that transfer things, or flies and bees, etc. They come into a connection, a vital connection from nature. But nature has laws, why they connect those with those, all kinds of reasons. The numbers of matings between the plants, and there you can also exchange your gender between plants.
And there are also animals that can exchange their gender, change their gender there for the sake of multiplying. And this is how it happens. And it’s all according to a law. This is male, female, plants, and animals that meet according to all kinds of laws that they verify between them, who suits what. And then they continue. There it is clear why they exist and why these herds exist and the connection between them, to connect the generation. That is the only reason why they are there.
A person, since he is the result of the animal level, is the result of the monkey. But since we left, we came down from the trees and we came out of the cave. Then we began to start with technology and our development. We have something that animals do not have. We have emotional and intelligent development in our heart and mind, and in that we are building a new world for ourselves. And this world causes connections.
We are no longer in some herd or some flock, some big tribe where everything is clear what I’m doing. I get married, and there I finish my life, and that’s it.
I have noticed that in all kinds of places that I am in, such as when I was in South America, and Columbia, and Chile, I was even in Ireland; all kinds of places. I saw people that do not leave their village. They do not go outside of it and just never have a need to go anywhere in their lives. They live like at animate level. Where is this road leading to out of my village? There is no such thing. And this is in the middle of Ireland and the same thing in South America. And I am sure there are lots of places like that in the world.
In other words, development depends on what kinds of civilizations we are talking about. But still, we are developing. And because of communications between us, the new types of connections, we are changing the planet and our environment. The world is becoming smaller, closer. When we look at the news we see the whole world every night. And through the news channels, our village is like a global village.
Therefore in accordance with that, we change. As for these changes, some say that they began at the beginning of the 20th century, during the World War I, and some say, and I agree with them, these global changes started from the atom bomb. Humanity began to understand that is had the weapons to destroy itself. Not all of humanity, but a few people understood it. But still it was the beginning of the new era.
I also connect it to Israel returning to the land of Israel. For me, that is a new era. Meaning, the beginning of the 20th century was the first Aliyah, and the second Aliyah to Israel. And here great changes were made. Until then, no matter what happened with technology, the global society, etc., they would not influence the family. It would not influence the family.
I grew up in a family where there it was clear that you lived together and don’t divorce. That kids and home was first of all and there was nothing to talk about. This is how I grew up and this is how it is in my house. No matter what. Family is - you begin it and you finish it. You do not get out of it. That is it. And you have to look after it. And the man mainly looks after the income. The woman looks after the home and everything that happens in the home. It’s something that has been going on for thousands of years.
And now there is in this new period, and we see that it is truly a new period with the technological development and connections. We on the inside and we are on the outside. And a person according to his nature, character, ego and how he grasps reality. He is no longer capable of being the same person. And instead of a lifespan of 40 years, he now has a lifespan of 80 years. He is maybe not truly capable of “according to his nature.”
We see that animals meet for mating for a few months and that is it. And then this connection dissolves. There is no connection between that same male and female, between mother and her offspring. While it is a baby there is a connection, but after two years that is it. There are animals where it is four of five years, or as much as they need to grow up. Or, there is a big herd of elephants or something and they are together, but still that is how it happens.
And people connect for many years. What is the need, what is the point? Apparently, for a person to be able to grow, he needs such a long period of time. That is why the family is built in such a manner, since connections have to be long term.
And we see that despite the kids and all the hardships and everything there is with divorce today, people get divorced. Today everything is coming apart. They distance themselves so much from each other, that they do not even want to be in contact. Or just the opposite. They can be in contact, but just like the friends completely. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, that he is with his new wife or new girlfriend, and she is also with someone else, and they can still get together and really be friends. As if there was never anything intimate between them that influences the past and the present. It is unbelievable. We are truly in situations where all this goes by and it is erased.
I know in my time, a man that would take a woman would be very concerned where she had been in the past, what she went through in her life, whether or not she was a virgin It was very important. Today there is not even such thing. That disappears from birth on the one hand. And that’s how it is felt on the man’s side. They don’t even have a demand for that. And he does not really care what happened in the past. And sometimes I even heard from men that it is interesting for them to be in contact with a woman who has the rich past and has experience. I don’t know what they find in that so much and why they take someone like that as a wife. The psychology of ours really is changing.
And surely these changes that we need to take into account and verify, need to be put on the table and catalogued. We need to see what kind of process we are in, what trend we are in.
Apparently, the trend is such that there is a general dissolving of this institution between a man and a woman and parents, and those whom they called pensioners, etc.
Between parents and kids, I see my neighbor who, based on his car and the apartment he lives in, has everything. They have all the opportunities to do everything. I see at 6-6:30 in the morning he goes down with his baby of two or three-months-old, with a cup of coffee. He gets into the car, takes the baby to nursery school or whatever it is called and then with his coffee, he continues to work. They are like hi-tech middle class people. Same thing with his wife. If there was a strong connection like it was before, the mother would not be able to disconnect for eight hours a day from her baby. How can you do that?
I remember he was on her all the time. She would not leave the baby and was always next to the baby. In my time, the baby was like in a basket. We put the baby in the kitchen, on the kitchen counter, but the mother was always next to the baby. Today you give the baby to stranger. It just tells us everything about the development of our ego in such a manner that there is no husband, no baby, no parents, nor wife with husband. We all feel ourselves more and more isolated.
In other words, we are getting away from the animal level that we existed in until the beginning of the 20th century, even up to the middle of the 20th century. That’s when the amily started coming apart. Therefore, we need to understand that our previous connections no longer work.
Also from the perspective of intimate connections, I do not care who a woman was with before me. She can also come to me with her kids and live with me. There’s not been anything like it before. There are no borders.
And I see how the young people, the younger generation; they are looking at it like this: She used to live with her boyfriend for a few years at his house. Now she is with someone else, they even get married and they have kids and everything and she is still in contact with the boyfriend that she lived with previously. And it is like the world has become very connected in all kinds of ties above sexual family connections. And it does not matter. They do not care.
In other words there is some type of additional development inside man, the human development, and not the animal level, but the speaking level. And what happened on the previous degree is not important. And here, we are apparently going back to the animal level. It is interesting because with animals it can be like that. But some tiger with a lion, they can mate, and maybe the female will mate with her son a few months later. Maybe we will reach this point also. We may even reach that in our time. After this transformation of what I am see that we are going through, I would not be surprised if that would happen as well. Just like today, we are used to homosexuality and all kinds of connections between people. That can also happen and it can be the new norm.
If we disconnect so much from our parents, our parents from us, the parents between themselves, and brothers and sisters and if the family comes apart after a few years and throws kids, and the husband and wife in all kinds of directions, there is some inner explosion. Then we can reach all kinds of other kinds of connections in the future.
We are living for so many years compared to other generations. It is interesting that suddenly, we jumped from a lifespan of40 that we had in the19th century, up to to a lifespan of 80 years. Life is 80 years long. It is this revolution, and we need to see the multifaceted nature of such a transition.
This is what I think about our generation. If you want to remain and speak about this generation, then we can talk about it. But if not let’s continue onward to corrections, to what we will have in the future.
Nitzah: Okay, step by step. First of all, let’s capsulize the basic question that I asked. What is this human need to create a family in a few words?
Dr. Laitman: This need to create a family was a need of the animal level. Just like animals. It is an inner need like they have in an instinctive manner, that I need a family. This is apart from needing sex, family, food and family. Family is not sex. And it’s not food. Maybe I have tons and tons of food and its really nice next to my mother. She supplies me with my grandparents. I get tons of food, but it is not enough. It is not enough if I am completely satisfied with sex in every possible way you can imagine.
There is another urge for family inside. To know that still, there are people that belong to you and you also belong to them. It is some type of mutual obligation that you have a connection with them at the animal level and at the human level. And it has nothing to do with the fact that you can buy any service in the world for money and a good attitude from everyone around you.
But rather still, there are some disadvantages in this that cannot be felt. That the whole world revolves around me and everyone will be concerned. Everyone will have everything. This space that is called a need for family still exists in a person and he will want to do it. Apart from that it also exists in the environment and then the opinion of the environment will pressure him and organize him even more to fill that same space. But since he even had this small space, this small need for family, he also had this need in the environment, so how can he not have a family?
I remember in my time the person that did not have a family was looked at as incomplete, not a person. If there are no kids, no family, then there is something wrong, something not okay. He is not complete. A person has to be well-based. People meet; they start to know each other. First you ask:”Hello, how are you, how is the family. Are you married, do you have kids?” It was some type of basic part of a person. And this need apparently, food, money, sex, intelligence, respect are those six vital deficiencies in a person that exist in every person in different combinations.
Oren: What do you mean “deficiencies?”
Dr. Laitman: Meaning he wants these things, he has a need for these things: food, family, happiness, money, respect, and intelligence. Intelligence means knowledge and to know who I am,, what I am and, where I exist. I have a connection with this environment and understand the laws.
Our ego altogether is the desire to receive, to enjoy, to fill ourselves. This ego is being clarified to us through these six deficiencies. Ego is a desire to fill myself. And it is made up of these six spaces of money, respect, food, family, and sex that belong to the animal part of us. Respect, knowledge and money has to do with the human part of us.
Oren: Can we stop on the third one for a moment, the family? You separated these three things. You said the person may not be short of food and sex, but family is different.
Dr. Laitman: It is different spaces. Imagine you have one big space which is a desire to receive, to enjoy, and inside this space it is divided into six segments.
Oren: So now I want to go to the third one.
Dr. Laitman: This is how they are in the hierarchy. The most basic one is clearly food, then it is sex, and if I have food, I need sex. Look at animals. Family is an addition.
Oren: Okay. let’s stop there at the family. As people, you are saying that even if I do not identify today, there is an inherent need in a person for family. What is this desire? What, from an emotional point of view ,do I want? When I say family, what is behind that slogan? What do I want emotionally?
Dr. Laitman: We get mixed up between sex and family. There were long periods when one did not even have anything to do with the other. Especially you know in, in royal families. I like some girl, as a prince and I hang out with her and they say to me to marry some monster from some other country alongside us because we need this mating. That is it. In other words not the first that existed at the animal level close to the ground, but of the higher class. Or according to their wealth, she is wealthy, we are wealthy, you have to get to know her and then we are combining our wealth and then we can develop onward. And that’s how all those elites began that we have today. It is the same thing with respect in families. This is respect and that is respect, control. In other words it completely has nothing to do with sex. That is clear.
Oren: Now I want to look even before. It is a completely different need. I want to learn what that need is. I don’t even want to relate to two people connecting; a man and woman and creating a family. You are not even at that level. Let’s take one of them as a person, say, the man or a woman. Let’s imagine a person. You are saying if he is a person, he has a desire for food, a desire for sex. He has in his nature a desire for family. Now I want to focus only on this desire and understand it from an emotional point of view. What is this desire for a family? What am I missing emotionally that I am expecting to receive from this thing called a family. What do I really want behind this slogan? What’s missing emotionally?
Dr. Laitman: It is very simple. I want to have some place, closed place, mine. And inside that place, I will feel inside my castle, inside a castle. And there, there is a woman that I love to receive from her. I like to eat what she makes. I like her making a cup of coffee, that she changes nice sheets. I want her to be there inside this castle, inside this house. We don’t need a castle. Inside my house and that she will be there. She is an inseparable part of that place that is good and comfortable for me to be with her. It is 90% because she reminds me of my mother. It really is like that. For me that is called family. And also the kids, that come out of her and everything. It is my place. It is not just any place and it is not that I go there to some hotel or some place. It is my place, and there she is. And the place is one entity.
Nitzah: What filling does it supply? This is called a filling of family. But what it does it create in me, security?
Dr. Laitman: No, it is not security. It is property. It is a type of property, but property at the animal level. It is not money and knowledge.
Nitzah: Where is the place of children there?
Dr. Laitman: The children are in addition to it. First, I think about myself and how I exist in the house. I go back there, it is my place, it is waiting for me and there I receive some type of filling inside. It is some type of emotional filling. A woman is a home. It cannot be some apartment or even a castle without a woman. It has to be both together. And afterward, kids as well. And all this is around me. What do I expect emotionally from the kids? Also filling. All this becomes filling that is called the family. And I am already thinking about it beforehand. I have a natural urge for it, just like animals, but it is disconnected from sex. With the animals also, it is disconnected from sex.
Nitzah: What you are describing here... and I suddenly got a feeling that a person inside of this great big world, he wants to find a certain corner that is his. Out of all this big thing this is mine. And in a woman, it is even more emphasized. There is a desire to close yourself into some unit and know that in this great big world that is completely not mine, there is a small little place that is called mine and it is my family and my home.
Dr. Laitman: And there he is in charge. It is mine. That is the possession. The woman belongs to the walls and the kids belong to the wife and it is all mine. It is very important. In other words the family is property. Sex is also He is acquiring, he is in control.
Oren: Let’s go to the other side. Let’s look from the wife’s side. A wife as a person, she also has natural need for a family.
Dr. Laitman: She has a need to belong to the home and to the man and to have kids. Completely opposite to that.
Oren: Explain it from emotional point of view. She anticipates to belong.
Dr. Laitman: That is from the side of nature.
Oren: What does that mean?
Dr. Laitman: To belong to a man who will be called her husband and she will be called his wife, meaning belonging to him. That she will feel satisfaction from having someone that she belongs to. Why? Because that is nature. Nature, there is nothing you can do. You can say where is pluralism, where is women’s liberation. We are talking about nature.
Oren: And what about kids, their relation to a woman? What is her need for kids?
Dr. Laitman: Her need for kids are in the fact that otherwise she will not feel that she is a woman. She will not feel that she is strong or acquiring that she has a feeling of life and control of the home. Kids supply, kids… It is a subject in itself what they supply a person. What inner needs. But it goes into the term of family.
Oren: Clearly. But I want you to say it specifically, let’s say from a woman’s side. What emotional inner need does a woman have to have kids? What does it answer? What does it give her?
Dr. Laitman: I do not know how to put it. The place is existing to plant herself down, to make roots, and to base herself. Perhaps like to plant. Without that, she does not feel like she has roots in this world, without kids.
Nitzah: She also, she is a woman and when she has kids she becomes the mother. It is an additional role. First she was a woman, now she has another role.
Dr. Laitman: It is the connection between her and the man and what comes of it.
Nitzah: In other words, this need is the need that gives us the feeling of existence, a feeling that we exist and we have a part in this world.
Dr. Laitman: Without that, she is not called a woman. There can be a woman, a young woman without a husband and kids. Today, again everything is in crisis. But in the books from the previous generation, a woman without her husband, without kids, without her family was a dangerous thing for society. It was considered dangerous.
Nitzah: Why?
Dr. Laitman: Because first of all, the society has to fill her, invest in her, they have to look after her. The do not know what to do with her. A man is one thing. He goes into the army, does stuff, he gets along, he is more mobile. But a woman is a problem. Let’s put it like this. It is a problem, a big problem that many women, free women, single women are wandering around society.
Oren: You are saying the previous generation, that is how they looked at that. Today it has other forms. We completed what the natural need a person has inside for a family. It is a part of our essence even, even if we do not feel like it?
Dr. Laitman: It is just part of being human. We can expand a lot on that.
Oren: Do you want to add something to that? But, I think we concluded it. We are going to touch on it a lot in the future. Where are we going from here?
Nitzah: Now we want to advance to the question, may be to begin to understand the basic principles that create family ties, good family ties.
Dr. Laitman: When? Now or before?
Nitzah: But, what was before.
Dr. Laitman: In the past, the man would bring the income and in that, he would feel that he had fulfilled his role. And a woman has to do all the work at home. She has to look after the kids. And truly, they were organized in such a manner that a woman did not have free time. And a man had, for him it was basic. The way we developed and we developed mainly technologically. And technology set on the taking us out for a new round.
But also along with technology, we need to understand that the more we can invent all kinds of inventions, technological inventions, that is also developing in us this ability with new desires for environment, family, relationships, sex, everything. It goes hand in hand, because a person in those six desires, he develops at once. It grows from beneath together.
Then it turns out that through technology we develop to a state where we suddenly need women to be at work, because there are professions that without women, we cannot manage. That suddenly a man really cannot manage it. This is secretarial, telephone operators. From the 19th century, they connected people.
In other words, we began with the typing and women came out to work. To make a long story short, if once upon a time they came to work only in female professions, which were to do laundry and iron for rich people, or to clean, etc., just like she did at home. Now she made another living here and there. She made little journeys outside of her home and it is clear that it is a woman who is capable of doing it. And if there is a need for family
Now we have reached a state where we need to teach them professions that we do not have at home. And in that, we are disconnecting her from the home. She needs to learn, she needs to work, and she needs to belong to some owner, the boss, the factory. And things started coming apart. That is the beginning of family unit coming apart. A woman leaving her husband’s control to some other type of control is already a problem.
A woman by principle, by nature, needs to be either under the father’s control or under the husband’s control, one or the other. There is no way, there is no other way. Otherwise if her husband dies, then immediately the environment has to take upon itself this problem and complete it, meaning to control her, to get her married again, to make a long story short. That is how it was in all previous generations.
Now of course, because women go to university and the army, etc. who controls this? And no one asks. They are just worried that she will not bring a baby home from school. I heard that at the age of 12 or 13, they take her to a doctor , a gynecologist that will give her something against pregnancy and that is it. That is the most we can do for girls. It is not a matter of control; it is a matter of lack of control and the lack of our ability to control and also apart of our lack of ability, the parent’s lack of desire. That is a very important point.
It is not that I want to control my girls, my boys also actually, and they aren’t listening, but rather, I also do not want it as a parent. Therefore it turns out that this development is mutual as usual in nature that’s advancing all of us in relatively mutual manner together.
And today, women go out to learn, they got to work, to obtain education. They go to learn, they get degrees, and they even advance more than men. In theatre, women’s roles were played by men in old days, in Shakespeare’s time. There was not a woman that would stand in front of people, that was always a man’s role. A man could appear, a woman could not appear. And today it is they go out and…
Notzah: So here, I really want to continue. You opened a very interesting point here, that you are actually saying you see, in the technological development that has been created, it is gradually…
Dr. Laitman: Also human development along with it. The fact that we were pushed to develop technology and some were pushed to develop may some type of a new family, it’s all going one along the other.
Nitzah: Technological development started taking a woman out of the place in the home, and started taking her out. And then she started losing some connection that was natural with her family. And in that, the more she became distant, there was this loosening of the family system. It is some process. If you spoke about the process, then I would like to make some review, some overview of how the forms of these units changed throughout history, because we see when we look at the past, it started with some tribe. The family that was very big, the whole tribe, the whole village, that was my family.
Dr. Laitman: That’s correct
Nitzah: It looks like a very pleasant feeling. I would be happy to part of a thing like that. The whole world is looking after me. The whole world is mine and we used to say there is no borders and I am not afraid of anything.
Dr. Laitman: We do not even have a feeling like that. We are always living on borders and fears, and warnings.
Nitzah: If I am living in a tribe, it was a village, and then in the village, there started to be big families. Meaning the families went through some process. And then there truly began to be the nucleus of the family.
Dr. Laitman: They started distancing themselves from the parents. They used to be next to the parents.
Nitzah: And then a process started where people came more to the city. The family unit got smaller and smaller. Now when I look at society, we see that the units are getting smaller. Why is it happening? How did we go from being such a huge unit, it looks like it was lots of fun in the big unit. That’s where I’d like to be.
Dr. Laitman: Today you will not be able to stand it.
Nitzah: Apparently. But why is there this process of shrinking of this unit?
Dr. Laitman: Our ego is growing.
Nitzah: So what, it is a…
Dr. Laitman: Listen, nice lady, we spoke about it. Our ego is developing and that is how we grow. And from our growing, we get new forms of food, families, sex, all those things that are developing. They are developing to new forms.
Oren: But why these forms. Why big families? It’s all single. A single parent.
Dr. Laitman: Our ego cannot stand more than that.
Oren: We have shrunk. How do you see this process?
Dr. Laitman: Once upon a time we were one body. Adam and Eve were one body. Then we began to multiply, let us say it is symbolic. The country was like a village. And there were nations. A few people were like a nation, like in the Bible. It was all very small, like an apartment building today. We had a small ego.
When you live in a place where everyone is as one family, you are obligated to everyone and everyone is obligated to you. Even though it is a natural happening, from the side of my ego, it is all my family, my grandparents, my aunt, but it does not matter. It is felt that I also belong to them.
Today my ego is becoming very individualistic, very personal, and very narrow. It has limits. I distance myself from everyone. I am behind the computer. I do not want to see you physically, just through the screen. And the main thing for me is that I can turn the screen off. I want to be me with myself and no one belongs to me, because this obligates me. And I do not want to be obligated, not to kids, family, wife, parents, nothing. This is our ego
Nitzah: You said this desire for family, a man and woman’s desire is my possession and of course, I have to look after it. Now you are saying, I do not want to look after it at all. I do not even want it as property. It is coming apart. So when we look at this whole process, that we were expanded and now shrinking and shrinking and shrinking to some separation, it is coming apart more and more.
Dr. Laitman: And also, we are growing in quantity. Today we have seven billion individualists that are alone and they do not want to be in contact with each other. And it is going to be more and more. It is going to an accelerated process in our development. And soon we will discover the format that no one will want to feel or understand anything about another person. We are all going to be behind computers and this is the only way we are willing to be in contact with others. It does not obligate us. I can disconnect, he can disconnect,, and I will be isolated from everyone. As if seven billion are in their own unit and only connecting through communication lines. That’s what we developing towards.
What family? Sex will be electrical, family will be virtual, the kids will be, I do not know, some laser will draw them. We will print our kids on a 3D printer. We are heading out to a new dimension of life. I do not want to continue onward. Maybe it will seem like too much of a fantasy or imaginary, but we are reaching a new world.
Nitzah: But, maybe we will truly...maybe almost the end of the first show. There is a feeling that we are coming apart Maybe everyone needs time to see it?
Dr. Laitman: This coming apart has to reach the recognition that we need to be aware.
Nitzah: You mean everyone needs time to ascend?
Dr. Laitman: Yes, we are at the end of our…we are coming apart; we have no ties between us. I cannot be connected more than in a virtual manner with anyone and at the same time, we need to feel the deficiencies, the spaces, the desires and that it they are impossible to fill with anything. Evil inclination and our ego distance everyone from me. I do not understand that.
Once upon a time I was a husband and a father, a son to parents, a grandchild to my grandparents, a cousin to my relatives. Then everything became smaller. There was a mother and father. And at work, I would meet people. I would go to the movie theatre or to the theatre. And then, there is no more theatre. I have everything at home. I have huge screen on the whole wall. With all that, why would I need to go there? I can lie down with a beer in my hand, with a cigarette, and everything.
I do not need to go to work. My work I do through my computer. Let us say two percent of the people altogether are working to supply them with everything. We each have our own unit.
My parents? I do not know where they are. They gave birth to me, they raised me, and they are somewhere. If I want, I can call them, but usually they are…
My children left home a long time ago. I also do not t know where they are advancing. Once a year maybe we connect with each other. I can see them on the screen, but I do not need that so much either.
The grandchildren, I feel as if they are very strange to me. I do not have any connection with them, etc., etc. Until I feel myself, I, myself. That is it.
What have we reached in this egoistic development through our time? That we are alone, but what do I get out of it? From this good, I have built myself with a world, with everything that can supply me with everything Does this make me happy or the opposite? Am I discovering a new deficiency that is erasing all this comfort that I have reached all this comfortable life that I have obtained? What exactly is being revealed here in a person that reaches this? You want to be alone? Fine. You do not owe anything to anyone. Wife? You can order by phone, the woman will come. You want some show on TV? Here, put it on. Whatever you want. Food-you press a button, you open some door, and the food will come. On the printer, you can print all kinds of food. Whatever you want to do. There is no problem, apart from one thing. This thing has to be revealed; a big space that you cannot fill and that is the deficiency. This new deficiency.
Oren: I wanted to ask you. I really identified with this description that you gave that the person feels alone. I may have everything materially, but I am alone. I think that there are a lot of people who will identify with me. That today a person feels like that, even when he is in his house.
Dr. Laitman: Yes, he is with his wife and it is just the problems they are bringing him. What else is there? Why do we go out? And we develop our ego in us from inside and I also do not see any benefit from them. There is no benefit from them, just trouble. What do the kids bring me? What does the wife bring me? What is all this pressure, what are all these things? It’s not that my ego is demanding more, it is not just that, but also from the outside, they are causing me unpleasantness. I am happy to be alone. I go on vacation for half a year. Get away from me and let me rest! Lots of assets like this, lots of worries.
Nitzah: You are saying this like two needs are opposite to one another. On the one hand, there is the desire to be alone, free and alone. Leave me alone! And on the other hand, this sadness of being alone. This is also not pleasant
Dr. Laitman: That is a different kind of sadness. In the meantime, I do not see that. In the meantime, I see that people who live and know how to make a good life for themselves, then the worst thing is if they bring a woman and if not, they will not. They can exchange them. The main thing is not to be obligated, not pressured. I do not want the other one. I do not want them to be a source of trouble. Anything that happens, we separate. There is no problem.
Oren: Soon we have finished our first talk. Of course as always, I want to finish on an optimistic note. Give us some type of hope, a point of light for the family that will note all these deeps insights that you taught us today. They will know how to take it into account and create a new united, connected family unit that will go with all this development to the next thing. Provide the horizon in a sentence or two.
Dr. Laitman: I cannot do that. And do not think that you can go the way that you think. If we go according to our ego and in our natural development, we will reach that same picture that I just described now; that everyone is alone and that somehow we are completing, we are putting up with it, reaching suffering and that we are aware of the badness of the situation. But if we go out with Integral Education, we do not need to reach this dead end, but rather now, while there is still a need for family and it is not completely disappearing, and while there is still a need for children, we can now stop this trend and already make corrections, and from this point onward create a new trend.
Oren: And from this point we will start our next talk. Our time is up. Thank you, Dr. Laitman, thank you Nitzah Mossas. A new family. Be with us for our next talk. In the mean time, all the best and so long.