How Can Parents Help Children Develop Healthy Social Connections?

The relationship between siblings is actually a model for the relationships we need to build throughout human society. Children have to learn that connection does not mean that they never disagree or fight. They can argue, wrestle, and release their energy, just as young animals do. The important question is whether underneath it all there remains a good relationship, without a genuine desire to harm or control one another.

Parents therefore need to educate children through two lines: love and judgment. Love alone is insufficient. If a child receives warmth, attention, and everything they want regardless of their behavior, we deprive them of the opportunity to learn how to relate in a healthy manner to others.

This does not mean that parents should suddenly become cold or reject their children. Any change must be gradual, carefully explained, and appropriate to the child’s development. The child should understand that as they grow up, their relationships also become more mature. They cannot expect to receive everything simply because they are the child of their parents. They must learn consideration, responsibility, and reciprocity.

The central principle is equality. However, equality does not mean demanding exactly the same from everyone. People are different in age, strength, understanding, sensitivity, and ability. Therefore, a healthy attitude takes these differences into account.

If one person can carry two hundred pounds and another can carry only twenty, demanding the same weight from both would not be equality. Equality means that each gives according to their abilities. The same applies between an older and younger sibling. The older child may need to concede more because they understand more. This is not surrendering one’s opinion; it is adapting oneself with a healthy, positive attitude to the other person.

This is something children must learn through explanations, examples, discussions, and exercises. We cannot simply tell them to love one another. They have to acquire the ability to understand another person and adjust themselves accordingly.

On a broader scale, the connection between siblings teaches us something about humanity as a whole. We must learn to relate to one another as members of one family, different from one another, yet connected through a common system. True brotherhood begins when we recognize this common connection and build our relationships accordingly.

Based on "New Life 217 – Sibling Rivalry, Part 2" with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.