Morning Lesson August 4, 2021 Transcription
1. Rav’s Introduction: Yes, we are still continuing with the time of Ibur, impregnation. We are expecting that the Creator, as it says, He makes a form within a form. That is a form of bestowal that He will establish it within our form of reception and in this way we will advance onward. The most important thing here is patience. To constantly be in preparation in that we will get from the upper force, a will to bestow. Of course, it is the opposite to our will to receive. Therefore this transition from the will to receive to the will to bestow is the most critical transition. Therefore it is considered that the form of conception is the most difficult one. It is not understood. It is felt only according to the phenomenon, according to the result of whatever will happen. The Creator does it all and it only depends on Him. The person only needs to try to restrain himself and to be patient until, as it says, ‘the Lord will impregnate in me for your sake’. This is how we are truly in this period of time. Nevertheless, we need to try to feel that each time, each and every day, ‘they shall be as new in our eyes.’ That we sometimes have an awakening toward bestowal, toward connection. However, in between those states, we have other states in which we have no desire, in which we have no passion, and we are in a state of indifference. This is how we advance. This actually is the period of the entry into Ibur. Therefore, let's help one another. We will go over the excerpts and read maybe a few other articles that are related to that, until the upper light will take care of us. So much so, that we will nevertheless enter the beginning of the will to bestow. Then we will start to get to know the form of bestowal that awakens inside our form of reception.
Excerpt 23 (03:53) twice
2. S. (07:46) It is not clear. The form of the mother, is it my ego, is it my 10?
R. It is the will to receive that the person feels.
3. S. (08:16) Each of us has a point in the heart. So what is the innovation here by the Creator in the Ibur?
R. In the Ibur, the impregnation, he adds a will to bestow that did not exist before. That will to bestow awakens and it starts to grow within us in a passive form. We cannot yet do anything with it. However, it does exist within us and it grows on its own, as getting treatment from above, from the Creator. It is as we say ‘a Godly part from above’, the beginning of the soul. Then it is considered that the Creator makes a form within a form. The will to bestow that grows inside of the will to receive. Certainly it is a wonder because these are two opposite forms that exist. Even more than they exist, one of them is inside of the other. The will to bestow grows inside of the will to receive. How can such a thing be? However, it can be because the Creator does it. The Creator is the source of both. A person's will to receive, as he says. ‘I created the evil inclination’. Also the will to bestow in a person, as they say ‘and I created the spice of Torah’.
S. This point in the heart, He expands on it, He adds to it?
R. Let's say so, I don't want all these additions. They will only confuse us.
4. S. (10:20) From the moment He makes the form within a form, can we say that all of our calculations are about making sure bestowal is greater than reception and the reaction?
R. According to whatever the Creator does this is how we think it should be. That there will be a greater will to bestow and the will to receive should also work for the sake of the will to bestow. Then we work already according to the desire that awakens. We always work according to the desire that awakens. Therefore, all of our actions should be according to whatever we are expecting to happen. There will be a greater will to bestow. There will be a greater will to receive. As much as possible. So that we, through all kinds of external forms and actions inside of the 10, actions of dissemination, mostly it's during the lessons, that we, by that, we want to determine the form of our attitude towards our advancement and towards Ibur. Pay attention that there are a few, let's say, hours during the day when we are in the state of the will to bestow. In which I want the will to bestow, I want to belong to it, I want to be connected to it, I want to operate in it. That is on the one hand. On the other hand, there is a day or two later when I'm in the will to receive. When I don't want anything, I don't care about this whole Ibur, the will to bestow, and none of this. I'm just living and flowing as we say. Then again I get some awakening toward spirituality, a will to bestow to the group, towards connection with the friends for a few hours. Then once again for a day or two I disconnect from that. I don't care about it. Even though I remember, I don't feel any inclination towards it. It turns out that this is how we learn what does it mean to be without a desire and with a desire inside the will to receive and with a desire and without a desire inside the will to the bestow. And through all of these transitions and changes, the Creator is teaching us how it should be. We will learn different states and in this way we will advance towards greater revelation, a true revelation.
S. In our current state before the Ibur and whenever something appears and I make a calculation how do I gain more this happens to me automatically and after the impregnation is how do I bestow to the other?
R. After the Ibur, we will talk about it. I don't like you asking about things that you are not in, yet. How to enter, I'll be happy to hear such questions. But following the Ibur, after the Ibur, we have a different life, a different world.
5. S. (14:12) How to correctly depict here the embryo meaning inside the will to receive, the will to bestow enters?
R. So what's the question?
S. What should be the depiction here? We know the work in the group, in the 10. What does it mean inside the will to receive, who's will to receive, mine, the upper one? And here the will to receive is the form of the mother which is even more confusing, the Creator forms the form of bestowal within the form of the mother which is the form of the reception. It's not clear this image, this picture here, who's the will to receive, where is the will to bestow created, whose whom in this picture?
R. To begin with I exist in my will to receive and in my will to receive I depict to myself the picture of the world. And everything that there is, the still, vegetative, animate and speaking, all the people in the world, all the components of the world, they all exist inside of my will to receive and this is where I feel them. Of course this includes the friends and it includes the Creator and includes everyone. Later on comes the form of bestowal. Sometimes it comes, sometimes it doesn't and it touches me or even enters more or less and this way intermittently and I get used to it that sometimes I want to bestow and I'm close to it and sometimes I don't even think about it. I look at myself from the side in what desire do I exist right now in an inclination towards the will to bestow or inside the will to receive and the Creator in this way teaches us where we are. In that everything is in his hands and that we should distance ourselves from our view and our belief that we can do something but rather he accustoms us, the fact that He is in control, He does everything in ‘There is none else besides Him’, and truly he controls our state's. Life and death are in the hands of the Lord. This is what we learn and then he also teaches us how to relate correctly to the life of this world and to the spiritual life of bestowal that whatever we get that's what we get and whatever we can do we try to do it, but of course following all of our actions it all depends only on the Creator.
When we see from everything that is happening to us in our in advancement more and more serious advancement toward spirituality, that we all are in the hands of the upper one and by that we are establishing ourselves correctly in relation to his actions and then we know how to ask of Him and how to establish ourselves correctly so that he will bestow. And the most important is the annulment because we are going towards Ibur, impregnation. Impregnation means that one annuls himself completely, we don't yet know what it means to annul ourselves. We understand that there is an upper force and He is controlling us apparently but, Ibur means first of all that we annul ourselves over whatever we have here what we call this world, that all of this the Creator does it, and later on the Creator brings us a different force and greater and greater force in the form of the Ibur.
This is considered that the will to receive becomes greater and we need to try to annul it so that the Creator will rule in order to bestow and then this form that the will to bestow will rule the will to receive, is considered that the embryo starts growing in the womb of its mother and this is how we grow. The womb of its mother is the quality of Bina, the will to bestow, we are the will to receive and this is how we grow inside of the upper one of the will to bestow and then we will talk about it. What are the stages of the development of the embryo? The most important thing for us right now is to enter the impregnation that is to be equipped with patience, perseverance for all of the changes that the Creator is taking us through. One time I went to receive another time I'm willing to bestow from here from there, I need to understand that it is all the Creator's control and I am annulled towards both of them.
6. S. (20:20) How do we place a will to bestow in our will to receive, how do we get to this feeling?
R. We come to this feeling in a way that we don't have to bring anything in, we just try to be annulled and the Creator will do this work truly so. Here is the time when we need to learn what is annulment that I annul myself my will to receive my ego, my goals, I want to have only one goal to be annulled toward the Creator. Not to perform in any action, actually the opposite, not to want anything besides that I exist passively inside of the upper force.
7. S. (21:46) From which point the Creator makes a form within a form, where the big embryo begins?
R. The moment that the will to bestow comes and it dresses in a constant form inside of the will to receive, this is considered the period of Ibur of where conception starts.
8. S. (22:21) In the initial stage we need to constantly run away in the direction of annulment during the day and focus on how we're not in it and keep going back to it. How long will it continue this way, until we discover that we are there in permanents or will we always need to kind of forcefully bring ourselves back to the state to remember it?
R. I don't understand what you are saying. We just need to let the Creator give the opportunity to work on us so that I do not determine that now I am in the will to receive and later I am going to be in the will to bestow that I don't want to determine anything. I give the Creator the possibility to operate and build within me the form of reception the form of bestowal, it doesn't matter to me what it is, the most important is that I annul towards Him and it's not that I, according to my decision shift from one form to another form, there is no such thing in the Ibur. In the Ibur I do not exist. I do not determine anything that is, I only let the Creator operate and control.
S. But there has to be a certain minimum permanence when I think of myself, my 10 during the day, the work?
R. You should think only about one thing, how can you be annulled toward the upper force and of course you want, or you should try to want to determine this form through the 10. Then it will be certain that you are annulling before the upper one because you have no true realistic form in which you can check that you are annulled before the Creator or not, but you have a 10 called ‘a womb’ towards which you will determine this.
9. S. (25:15) This form of the will to receive, that the transition from the will to receive to the will to bestow creates disconnections inside a person or inside a 10, also the sort of split personality?
R. I’m very happy that, today, we are beginning to discover how much we don't understand what is the form of the embryo and where we are and what it is that we should be doing. Truly it is a very important and new state where we are discovering that this form is not so simple, the Ibur, and conception. That we and all ourselves and that the Creator does everything. How do we annul ourselves by what towards what. So once again, the question.
S. (26:27) Can there be inside a person a certain disconnection or multiplicity between the will to receive in the will to bestow, are there disconnections with respect to the path and the 10?
R. The corporeal will to receive we have that to begin with, this is considered that the Creator has created the evil inclination and indeed in the corporeal form that evil inclination that will to receive, we don't consider it to be evil it is not considered a shell it is just a will to receive and any person in this world wants to exist to enjoy something because without that you have no life. The will to bestow that does not exist in our world at all and this is what we now need to discover, how does the Creator build within us a will to bestow? It’s interesting that inside of our will to receive gradually we begin to feel that there is some kind of an awakening towards bestowal towards love towards the feeling of the other, towards the ability to get closer to the 10 and so on. And it is new, it is not like something that the person has according to his nature. There are such people who like society, they like being with their friends, it's easier for them it's good for them to be in this way, these people actually don't really come to the wisdom of Kabbalah, to the wisdom of Kabbalah usually come more individualistic people who don't quite have a heart towards corporeal connection, this is what we see and it is true. And therefore we just need to give the required conditions for the Creator whatever is required of us so that we will start to feel how He, as it says, makes a form within a form. That is we need to try to make the conditions so that we will start to discover within us the form of bestowal. Nobody knows what it is, it is something new that never happened before, that no one ever had even in the most exalted feeling inside of each one of us. However, patience and expecting it along with the work in the group that the Kabbalist write to us about, is what yields this result. It's not about wisdom it's not about how much you know but rather all in all it's the right attitude and relation to the form of Ibur.
10. S. (30:22) What I perceive from your words is that this state of annulment, Ibur is a kind of unconditional surrender with the confidence that the Creator will make this form. Do we stay deficient during this period or are we completely mute?
R. Of course we have a deficiency towards the will to bestow. Sometimes this deficiency disappears and once again it comes and once again it disappears and this is how we exist intermittently in different states until we get the will to bestow and it develops within us from one form to another from one degree to another.
S. So even if we are completely annulled we still yearn for the milk of the Creator?
R. It's hard for me to answer this because what does it mean, completely annulled? If we were completely annulled what do we feel out of that feeling, out of that sensation you can answer your question. I don't know what you mean by completely annulled, if I am completely annulled then I already enter Ibur and then I begin to see my situation, I can criticize it, I can monitor it and advance in this way.
11. S. (32:35) We gathered in the 10, what does it mean that we annul ourselves right now completely?
R. You don't want to take care of your desires to receive as usually they take care of them in different groups, not our groups but rather you want to reach a state where you are giving an example each and every group to the other groups, or each friend in the 10 to his friends of how much he is only expecting one thing, that the Creator will tend to Him in that He will give him in the form of bestowal and nothing besides that only bestowal.
S. Meaning we're not thinking of anything else besides to ask for the friends this is the annulment?
R. This is very important however the most important is that you feel yourself ready to receive from the Creator whatever comes it doesn't matter what it is. It does not matter how he is influencing you, you're willing to receive it with an open heart and joyfully.
S. Well, the Creator influences me through millions of methods and modes in my life but how does that connect to the work here in the 10 with the friends?
R. You get from your friends in the 10 support and an example.
S. How from that we come to annulment?
R. Each one should help his friend.
S. And in this help, what, is it the state of the impregnation?
R. Envy lust and honor brings a person out of this world. When you start to see how much the support between the friends and connection, they help and each one prays for everyone.
12. S. (35:10) Before that we learned that the womb is my 10. We read that here the womb is my ego. Is there some confusion here?
R. I don't want to get into it. I don't recommend this for you. You want to approach it like a scientist. I understand you. But first you have to feel these things and then with the new mind that you will have, with the new feeling that you will have, then you will be able to research and to explore these states. For the time being, just annul. Simply, as though you exist in some open space in between the stars. Where there is no up, down, right, or left. Nothing. You simply want to belong to the upper one. So that the upper one will dress in you and determine for you all of your thoughts and all of your desires.
S. And the upper one, in such a state, is the 10, right?
R. The 10 is that place where I established myself correctly toward spirituality. I get from above, from the Creator, all kinds of discernment for how to establish myself towards the 10. In that, I will feel that I already have some orientation in spirituality.
13. S. (37:00) How in practice does the annulment happen and what are the stages in order to reach the right annulment?
R. That is what we are learning about. Correct annulment is when I constantly, gradually, from day today, I annul and annul myself towards the upper force through the 10. I try to do everything Rabash writes about, in the work in the 10. I constantly intend for it to help me be passive towards the Creator. Meaning, it doesn't matter what form I am in. It doesn't matter what I have. Relative to Him, I want to be ready for anything. I want to be on standby. Then I will want only one thing. For the Creator to take care of me. To work on me. That's it. To relate myself to Him and to expect Him to work on me.
14. S. (38:50) Does it mean that I begin to feel a certain foreign force working inside of me and I am certain that this is not me who is working?
R. Yes
15. S. (39:17) We are a big team of friends who are preparing the materials for the study. It seems as though we seemingly need to study the topic of annulment. We talked a lot about annulment. This whole week we've been talking about it. Maybe it is really worthwhile to simply take the topic of the annulment and get into it and engage in it. Or continue the work on conception like we are doing right now?
R. No, no, no. Conception, impregnation, it's still early. Annulment is more important. Ibur is when we begin to practically acquire forms of bestowal and we come to the nine months of pregnancy. It's still too early. We can't feel how we annul ourselves and begin to feel that something new, a quality of the embryo, of annulment, is growing in us. The quality of devotion to the upper force. So that He will do whatever is needed unto me. Now, that's what I wish to come to. When I annul myself completely. What does it mean? To be inside the womb of the upper one. That the upper one can do whatever it wants from beginning to end. ‘A King who puts to death and revives and brings forth salvation.’ I am ready for everything, for anything. That's the meaning of being an embryo. It is the greatest restriction. The kind we never had before. Hence, to enter the period of conception, the departments, the sections, the months, it's too early for us. We haven't felt yet what it means to annul ourselves and this is the most important point. As we read more than once. It's the entry point to spirituality. Where I completely annul myself with all of the disturbances and everything that exists around me. I annul myself towards the upper one and I deliver myself to the upper one above all of these disturbances. Since the most important thing for me is to be annulled relative to the upper one.
S. (42:16) How to be equipped with patients to be alert each and every day, with anticipation for Ibur, to work on high revolutions, each and every moment?
R. Sometimes it takes several years. If a person continues, nevertheless, he succeeds. He makes it. There is no other choice since what else do you have to do in this world, in this life except to reach annulment towards the upper force. After the annulment that you have attained, all of the remaining degrees are the different forms of annulment. Because there is you, there's the upper force and you constantly have to annul your will to receive relative to his will to bestow. Then His form of bestowal will control over your will to receive and this is the meaning of making a form within a forum. Where Ibur, Yenika, Mochin are. All the degrees we will have until the end of corrections. Actually, it is the same embryo. It's the same point of annulment, except it grows itself, it expands itself more and more and there is nothing more than that.
S. I'm asking about the time of preparation. This time. Of course later there will be other stages, but now during our preparation, how can we constantly be in five revolutions like a motor, to constantly stay in this point of Ibur?
R. I have to constantly remind myself, with the help of the environment, in the study and everything I'm in, that I am expecting the force of bestowal to clothe in me. To dominate me and I am passive. I want him to dominate me and cancel my force of reception. Most importantly, I think of the force of bestowal that will clothe in me and control me.
16. S. (44:33) Yesterday you talked about the force that comes to us, that the Creator instills within us, that causes us that desires that we don't want to come out, to actually emerge. That is, He makes us think about what is more important for us, and he makes it so that the will to bestow becomes more important. How can we draw these forces to us so that we will be able to completely abandon the desires that we don't want to use?
R. First of all, I'm speaking of the action, how it will actually happen in life. First of all we come to a state where we don't want the will to bestow but seemingly we come to a state where whatever we receive, we receive from above. The desire to bestow, the desire to receive, it doesn't matter what desires, what thoughts. We come to such a sensation that whatever is in me comes to me from above, it's not me and the Creator can play different tricks, in which I am not in control. The will to receive clothes in me - I’ll be the receiver, the will to bestow clothes in me - I’ll be the bestower. Everything that exists in me comes from above, and I have no say in the matter. That's how I discover it. Later, there’s a question, where’s my say? My participation, my advancement, that's not up to me, but at least to be a part and participate in how I awaken the Creator, and how I give the Creator seemingly easier conditions, more suitable conditions so he will clothe in me and determine new states in me. How to do that? And then I begin to think of the 10, the group, and my expectations together with it. That I expect the Creator to clothe and to give me new desires, new qualities, qualities of bestowal. Sometimes I discover that I do get such a thing from above. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. And it can be a few times a day until it becomes easier that a few hours a day I have a will to bestow and then I seemingly am floating in the air and I want to be in bestowal and have a good spirit etc. Another time, it is a will to receive. And I surrender more. I am in a descent, all kinds of such states. We have to go through them and learn from them how we get them.
17. S. (48:39) What does it mean to be involved in the desires of friends? How can I engage in the desires of friends and take active action?
R. We learn this from one another. What can I tell you? We try to be dependent on one another. Like it or not we are incorporated in one another because from the get-go the Creator put us together, although it seems to us that we did it ourselves, but there are no coincidences. This way we need to try and give examples to one another. Examples are very important because it has to do with envy, and envy is the most powerful means for advancement.
18. S. (50:02) What are the signs that we are in Ibur. How do we know we are in Ibur?
R. When you are ready for the influence of the upper one and you have no doubt that you are only aimed at receiving His influence on you. That is Ibur, conception. That by that you wish to annul all your criticism. Look at an embryo in his mother's womb. There’s a pipe through which he receives nourishment, fulfillments, so he gets what he needs to get. He receives blood from the mother -- well not directly from the mother, there's another mechanism there, the transition from the mother's blood before it enters the embryo and that's what he receives. He's got no way of criticizing, of knowing. In receiving this fulfillment there’s no intellect, there’s no feeling, he’s simply annulled. Whatever the upper one gives, the embryo takes and it doesn't bless it, it doesn't say ‘I want it, I don't want it, thank you, can I have something else?’ There is no mind, there is no feeling, there is nothing. It simply receives, and that’s it. Do you understand what it is? Just imagine how we need to be like that in spirituality, that whatever the upper one gives, we need to receive. We have our own ego, our own will to receive. Like it or not we need to receive this world, but in the form of conception, how can it be? That's how it is. All of this is the upper one. Everything that I feel in all of my senses is the upper one and I need to accept it and justify it and bless it. So there is simply nothing besides the Creator, only the upper one. He decides, and in place of the whole world I need to see only the upper force.
This is the meaning of entering conception and then my ego develops more and more. There are nine months of pregnancy, as we call it. Nine months of development from Malchut to Keter, and I have no choice above the growing will to receive. I need to constantly annul myself more and more and receive the same way without any criticism, seemingly without any criticism but actually with criticism. But it is the criticism that signifies the growth of the embryo. It's got feelings, it’s got intellect, flesh as we say. But he annuls everything in order to receive from the upper one through this pipe, this blood that he receives more and more. You understand that these nine months of pregnancy, when we enter spiritual labor, it's all about annulment, annulment, annulment towards the whole world because the whole world is the Creator. He is present, and we annul ourselves to Him. Here without the help of the environment it is impossible to succeed, impossible. Later we have more to talk about but this is not so difficult, it's an adventure. We have nothing more to do in this reality, in this world other than to annul ourselves to the upper one so the upper one will raise us, grow us and we will leave the realm of the beast and enter the realm of man, and this is what we determine. The upper one gives us an opportunity, we annul ourselves to Him, and that’s how we grow up.
19. S. (55:17) This state, when the will to receive is replaced by the will to bestow and there's mutual work, here with friends, if I'm expecting something, then sometimes we have different views, and so should I annul myself before them or just make concessions all the time?
R. I can't get into it. Typically each one in the 10 tries to annul himself towards the goal. That's really conception. We have nothing else to do. The more each one will annul himself, the closer he will get to Ibur and the fact that we have all sorts of different forms of annulment, or not to annul, of course here we have all these different types of friction, or we don't get along perhaps. We have to understand that all of this is so that we quickly overcome this inequality and come to the general annulment between us and this way we will enter the general embryo of the 10.
20. S. (57:02) In order to reach Ibur we need effort and patience. What is the patience here?
R. He lowers his head, like Rabbi Akiva in the stormy sea, and whatever may come, he wants nothing but to lower his head and whatever may be will be.
21. S. (57:48) This point is not so clear that on the one hand I know myself so from where do I pray for the friends where is that place?
R. You pray for the friends because, in that, you are taking care of your womb where you enter and in practice we need to reach a state where we are as one man. It's not that we are doing a certain exercise between the friends and then we let go of them and we fly among the clouds, no. We have to come to a state where in our feelings, all of our boundaries are revoked, canceled. And we have to try to reach that. In practice, we have to come to a state where we feel that this world is disappearing, it's already called ‘an imaginary world’, and through it we become transparent and we begin to see ourselves in one desire and we have to reach this one desire. This is actually the
go.
S. So it turns out that I also build the womb in my prayers?
R. Yes.
22. S. (59:54) The revelation of the Shechina in the 10, is that the conception, the embryo or birth, what is the correct work in that state?
R. The Shechina is the connection between us into one desire or many desires more correctly into one intention, and that's how we advance. So the Creator reveals just how much we can be in one intention, not desire. Our desires are canceled and rather all of desires connect in one intention. This is the meaning of building the network, the web. We connect different desires in one intention, to bestow to the Creator.
23. S. (01:00:58) I heard more than once that you said that from the Creator we only get blows. So what does it mean that I need to be ready with an open heart and joyfully to receive whatever comes from the Creator?
R. We only get blows from the Creator? Okay and?
S. What does it mean that I need to be ready with an open heart, and joyfully to receive whatever comes from Him?
R. If I will be in joy to receive whatever may come from the Creator I will not feel blows, I will only feel positive changes.
24. S. (01:02:10) Is there also an annulment in the envy?
R. Annulment in envy, what is annulment in envy, that I cancel the envy?
S. No, the fact that we are envious of the friends?
R. Why is that wrong, I don’t want to annul it.
S. What are the means that I annul before the feeling of envy? I don't choose what I'm envious of?
R. When I feel envy towards the friends, I have to annul myself towards that envy?
S. Yes.
R. It's not so clear. Annul myself relative to the envy. What does it mean that I agree with the envy? Of course, I agree with it. It advances me, its better than lying down like a log that cannot move because I have no desire, no intention, no inner fire. Envy is an inner fire that awakens us and I constantly need to see if I have it. It doesn't matter who, among whom am I. With this Rabbi Yossi ben Kisma was among his students, do you think you didn't have any envy? And how! He would envy them greatly.
25. S. (01:03:55) How can we want to enter Ibur condition as a 10 when we have different qualities? How can we help friends in this sense?
R. Example, that's what we need from the friends. Even when I have no desire, no energy, I must not forget that I have to give them an example. This is a must. This is our obligation. This is our mutual agreement, what we call the Arvut where each one is responsible for the others. Even when I have no desire for myself and I must act towards them as if I am full of energy and hope and a burning fire for attaining the purpose of our development I must act. It is a commitment when we enter the 10.
26. S. (01:05:50) On one hand, we learned today that we need to see how the Creator's taking us through different states sometimes up, sometimes down, sometimes indifferent and sometimes with greater ability to bestow and on the other hand you now said to the friends that we have to constantly give an example of how can we combine the state that you're annulled to what the Creator’s doing to you and on the other hand your proactive to the 10?
R. You obligated, you committed towards the friend to invest in the connection in the group towards mutual support. So how can you not do it? It has nothing to do with your mood and your desire, you have to do it consistently. You saw how a woman who may feel sick and tired but if her baby cries and demands she gets up and takes care of them even though she feels herself totally destroyed.
S. Yes but simultaneously everything that we learned today the novelty was that we have to be settled towards whatever the Creator does inside of us?
R. That's what the Creator is doing inside of you. You are allowing him to do whatever he wants to you and you but relative to the society you must give examples and act as if you're in the highest degree and you are in connection with the Creator and in the state of revealing him. How is one interfering with the other? I am giving you the example of the mother who is sick and tired but she gets up because the baby demands it. Our group, our connection in the group is not yet even an embryo and it demands care. So even when we don't want it we can't do it, certain external actions we must perform.
27. S. (01:08:42) If we don't quite understand what annulment is, what should we do today in the yen in order to get closer to understanding this process?
R. First of all, I have great expectations for the Creator to take care of me I am simply holding my breath and I am waiting to see into here and to feel what is he going to do with me, what kind of desires he's going to change in me and what thoughts is he going to change in me? Then I am eager to hear and to feel what kind of changes he is going to make in me. Maybe he's going to change me a little bit towards bestowal and that's how I will advance. That's on one hand and on the other hand together with that I must function in this life as usual. At work, in the family and all sorts of things and inside thinking about the Creator in this way. Also with the 10 I have to function and work just like each one of us needs to perform acts of connection but again inside I have the sense of expectation and I am waiting for the Creator to pass on to me some of the quality of bestowal so I'll be able to be in bestowal to Him and open myself up to Him. So He will be able to fill me with His desire to bestow and then I will have a little bit of his power in me. That is the meaning of him passing me the soul.
28. S. (01:11:19) We read Rabash’s articles and we have scrutinies all day long and we are trying to scrutinize each and every moment. What else we need to do in order to reach this new degree which is called connection, a true connection? What does it mean to restrain yourself and be patient? I feel that each day we are discovering more and more things that we have to do in order to scrutinize further and further, it seems infinitely so what does it mean to restrain ourselves and be patient?
R. The meaning of restraining all of your questions and only have one expectation for the Creator to clothe in you and to give you the force of bestowal, no more than that. That is what you want to feel. It's the meaning of, May the Lord impregnate in me and that's what I expect to happen.
S. We are constantly asking for the force of bestowal, all the force of love, the force of connections so just continue asking for the same thing all the time?
R. Until you receive it.
Excerpt 24 (01:12:64)
29. R. (01:15:10) Great you see more and more we have discernment, knowledge and also maybe sensation.
Excerpt 24 again (01:15:23)
30. R. (01:17:20) Tell me please how do we use our desire to receive in order to enlarge the quality of bestowing. Let's say that we have received from above the force to bestow, the force to bestow is called the embryo, the coarseness of the root. How afterwards by our desire to receive do we enlarge this point of conception, the coarseness of root that shall turn into the coarseness of 1 2 3, how the desire to receive that develops in us, does it enlarge and increase the coarseness and thickness of the root. It increases and amplifies the force of bestowing in us.
Excerpt 24 again (01:18:38)
31. R. (01:19:45) Pay attention to what he says the coarseness of the root is the Creator, meaning the Creator gave us this point of inversion that from reception we invert to bestowing. Afterwards to increase bestowing we once again work with our desire to receive only to invert and deflect ourselves, in total what we are doing we say we have a desire to bestow, we don't have a desire to bestow, this is the Creator. Rather we use our desire to receive with the intention to bestow. How do you do that? By ascribing yourself to that same point that the Creator gave you in conception, it is such an important and difficult point that the Creator created it in you, formed in you the quality of bestowing in a zero, in a direction outside of yourself and afterwards you once again increase in your desire to receive.
Reader continues: “When the person receives the first quality ….”
32. R. (01:22:00) WSQ: Speak among yourselves, let's do a workshop. How do we receive the point of bestowal from above, from the Creator and afterwards we begin to work upon this point with our desire to receive, to subjugate it towards the point of bestowal, and grow. Discuss it among yourselves and see what you will find, maybe examples like we are going through the eye of a needle. Let's say right here we have the border, we go through the little hole, and we come out the other side. So that hole that we go through is called that we receive the quality of bestowal and onwards, with our desire to receive we enlarge that quality of bestowal. Talk about this as much as possible. The main thing is to connect among yourselves.
33. R. (01:29:12) Each 10 prepare questions among yourselves and try to progress with this because this is the topic of Ibur, conception, and we have to get into this as much as possible. Besides the lesson we don't have an opportunity to really work together on this so please, every 10 prepare the most important question on the topic we are learning now, the topic of Ibur, conception, impregnation. Focus on conception itself without going onward, the preparation to it and how we receive it. Any questions on this?
34. S. (01:30:07) The state after annulment when we accept everything from the Creator as good, there is a feeling of tranquility, calmness and pleasure. Can we call this the food that the Creator feeds our will to receive and this is how he makes us grow?
R. In the meantime, let's say that it is, that it is calmness, it is good. We will go through this stage of Ibur, conception, and then we will see. In spiritual development there is no calmness. The worst thing that Baal HaSulam couldn't stand is that students sometimes would say, as if from tiredness or something, ‘aaaah’, he couldn't hear this.
S. Is it a stage that is going to pass?
R. It is a stage that simply cannot be all the time, to be in the tendency forward.
35. S. (01:31:37) What is that point of bestowing and how does it become reception?
R. The point of bestowal that we receive from the Creator is called part of the Creator from above and it tends to be later. The desire, under the intention of that same will to receive, directs this intention to receive into the intention to bestow on that same point.
36. S. (01:32:23) Do we look for that point of conception inside of us or in the 10?
R. Great question. We need to reveal it in us and in the 10 as well and to connect these two points to be together. They separate and connect, and separate and connect. This is how we need to see our work until we reach the complete adhesion of man in the 10. Then we are ready for the next degree, for birth.
37. S. (01:33:32) We talked about the will to receive and within it, the will to bestow that is developing. Is the Creator basically inflating the will to receive to have room to fill it?
R. Correct. A big desire to receive is called ‘he who is greater than his friend, his desire is greater’.
38. S. (01:34:01) We need the importance of the goal to reach annulment. To what extent do we need the importance to reach conception?
R. It is the most important thing in life that we nullify to the goal and we want only that, each time more and more and more.
39. S. (01:34:41) Is the eye of the needle the point of annulment where we want nothing more than connection?
R. Yes, that is the beginning of Ibur, conception. Where does he write that not at one time does a person reach this exalted high upper coupling, and the goodness and mercy shall chase me all the days of my life. Find this so we can read it/
40. S. (01:39:58) We learned that the 10 is the mother, that this state of ‘mother’ is the vessel of reception. Is the 10 my vessel of reception?
R. The 10 receives, and it is going to receive, the upper light with the intention to bestow, to be as a soul. The inner desire of the 10 is the soul, Neshama.
S. How does this wonderful point of bestowal appear?
R. It is a miracle from above. In the meantime, accept it as such and then you will understand that it is truly a miracle. But what is a miracle? You will be able to explain this to yourself.
41. S. (01:37:09) What are the signs we are clothed with the bestowal of the Creator?
R. Sensation, it has to come in sensation.
42. S. (01:37:27) It is a great thing to try to annul in the 10. The Creator takes us through a process of a great thing. Must the person have to fight a lot to attain anything?
R. Yes, of course. We were once in one vessel and then the vessel broke and shattered. This connection comes to us in the form of the 10 and we work on the connection between us. We work on the entire vessel because it was broken towards us. But it really wasn't broken, it just seems to us this way. When we work on this connection between us, we are actually working on the entire vessel of Adam, until we bring it to connection. This is our work.
S. You said that we have to be patient and persistent. When we feel some difficulty in the 10, is it because something great is expected of us and we have the potential for something amazing in order to increase the importance?
R. Yes, the group is capable of mutual bestowal. The group is built in such a way because it is the vessel of Adam HaRishon. It seems to us it is the 10 and that we are not connected and we don't understand, but actually it is a vessel of Adam HaRishon. It turns out that this is how it influences each one of us and all of us together, formatting us to reach this form of the soul. What is the soul? It is a form that is similar to the Creator despite that it is a will to receive.
43. S. (01:40:14) How to focus the annulment of the 10 for the Creator?
R. Make an effort to help them in all that is possible.
44. S. (01:40:44) What is the point of the conception?
R. The point of conception, Ibur, is called that I entirely nullify myself, my will to receive. In the point that I nullify myself, I restrict myself, and feel that on the other side of this point is the Creator. This point is adhered to the wall of the womb and I continue to develop in the form of bestowal. This is the point of Ibur, and it is not a point, there are three days of conception, it is a process. We will learn about this. It is not a one-time contact.
S. I don't understand the concept of the point of conception in the 10.
R. You are getting confused between the point of Ibur, conception, yourself and the 10, and how it works in general, the Creator and Adam HaRishon, and how will it all work out? It will work out. Continue. Don't begin to sort it out now but let it freely find balance and completion between them. It will become clear to you. Don't determine what is a static, correct form now. You're always trying to place things like that. Just wait patiently.
45. S. (01:42:55) The action of annulling oneself stems from a great need? What is this need for the annulment?
R. The need for the nullification is that the Creator makes a form of the form, that He gradually awakens the will to bestow inside our will to receive. Where does this come from? It comes from above, it is a part of the Creator above. Later we perform all kinds of actions by recommendation of the Kabbalists in order that this point will grow. After its conception, this point grows in the desire to receive. This has to do with Ibur, and we will learn about it.
S. Does annulling the desire mean crossing the barrier?
R. Let's say so. All of these things are much bigger than just ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
46. S. (01:45:01) We are trying to depict what is happening here based on our studies. Is this a case of Malchut becoming Keter?
R. No. I don't want questions that don't have to do with Ibur.
47. S. (01:45:31) The Creator is the quality of bestowal, the mother is the quality of reception, and the embryo is connected to the mother, to the desire to receive. How does the embryo get the quality of bestowal out of the quality of reception?
R. This is called that the Creator makes a form within a form. He created the will to receive which we don't know what it is yet. What is the will to receive? What is desire? Show me. Put it on the table and let me somehow measure it. We don't know. It is some form, some influence, of the Creator upon us. In a certain form, it is called a will to receive; a different form of influence on us from the Creator called the desire to bestow. We are in the will to receive and only from this do we live.
Let's make an effort to find conditions how the will to bestow can be revealed in us, speak in us, and enlarge in us. We ascribe both of these forms, the desire to receive in the desire to bestow, to one source, the king that enlivens, kills, and brings back to life. We want to understand both of these forces, the desire to receive and the desire to bestow, and that we are in them. We won't understand anything before that.
48. S. (01:47:01) We learned that each of us has a point in the heart which is the will to bestow and we have to enlarge it. So what is the difference between what you just talked about and the point of conception?
R. The point of conception that we are talking about for the first time is that on the nullification of the will to receive, a person receives a desire to bestow, this is actually the Ibur.
S. Is there a difference between the point in the heart that we received to begin with?
R. The point in the heart is a desire for spirituality, for the Creator, a broken desire that is not corrected, is not a desire to bestow but rather a desire to attain the goal, the Creator, in an egoistic manner. It is directed to the Creator and we respect this desire because in the meantime, it gives us the direction.
49. S. (01:48:59) In addition to the work in the 10, you said each of us personally has to be attentive and expect this point to happen to me. Can you explain more about each one individually standing before the Creator?
R. We are personally in front of the Creator until gradually by the work, we begin to feel that it is performed and expressed correctly in the connection between us. Without pressure, we will reach this and we will feel precisely in the connection between us, that what we feel is necessary and then we will begin to reveal the true spirituality.
50. S. (01:30:16) Is this point of bestowal temporary? Will we keep adding to the intention?
R. No. the Creator gives us the desire to bestow but we feel it not as a desire to bestow, but actually, as a desire to adhere to Him, that we want to be adhered to the Creator, without any will to receive of ours. The beginning of conception is when this sensation is revealed in man. There are many other points along the way until we enter conception itself, but this is the beginning. I don't want anything besides to belong to the Creator.
Excerpt Letter 19 (01:51:33) “One cannot be ready for the sublime coupling…..”
51. R. (01:52:44) Meaning not just one time or all at once. We understand the entrance to conception is not simple. It is not whoever wants or whoever does not want it. The action itself needs to be included in this form of a point, and in it, all the future development until the end of correction.
Excerpt Letter 17 (01:53:13) Open for me one aperture of repentance such as the tip....”
52. R. (01:54:05) Besides belonging to the upper force we don't demand anything.
53. S. (01:54:10) Before the series of questions you said the 10 has to talk and find the best question it has and it is not clear. When we hear the questions from the world Kli it’s not clear what we are asking out of themselves or did they discuss it in the 10. We can't talk about this in the 10 but to hear the friends, how can a 10 give birth to a question with respect to this conception?
R. Each one should see their making efforts on their own and strengthening by the 10 that he is looking at them and receiving strength.
54. S. (01:55:18) How can we identify in the center of the 10 the complete annulments or the feeling of complete annulment, is this only when I can see that my friends are corrected?
R. Yes. Try to get in motion and start to move, also in the 10 and from jealousy, from honor, start to move yourself and to shake yourselves up and then you begin to see how you can advance without stopping. It very much hastens the path and shortens it.
55. S. (01:56:31) The main question that grows in our 10 of everything that we said, is that we are in the time of preparation as you said, they can give life or death that we are between heaven and earth, like a swing. We also spoke about the point of Ibur, what is the additional point of force that we can receive from the Creator to shift this point from the balance in between to move us forward. What can we ask of the Creator in our prayers?
R. We can progress only by this that we will cancel ourselves from 10 to the Creator or even not from within the 10, maybe that's later but rather toward the Creator each and every one, try to do this work personally and we will advance like this. I don't expect anything besides that I will receive from above a desire to bestow. We need only the desire to bestow, I am standing and wanting to receive from the Creator.
S. (01:58:30) Personally from the 10 which one should go through this swing, am I right?
R. Yes and no, each one with support from everyone.
56. S. (01:58:54) When we read the texts like what we just read in 24, I should take this text that describes the conception and the Creator and to pass this all to the 10, meaning the desire to bestow this is also with respect to the 10?
R. It is with respect to Adam and a person who feels this and his personal connection with the Creator this is the gift from the Creator passed to him, the desire to bestow that is impregnated in man.
S. How is this process in the 10, I see my 10 as a womb?
R. Out of that already you begin to work differently in the 10 according to that same quality that now you are beginning to receive, this is called that the Creator is conceived in me towards you.
57. S. (02:00:12) Adam HaRishon correcting his soul for 6000 years and we are part of this broken soul and we need to enter the conception and to be Adam, so my question is entering the conception is to go into Adam to connect to the form of bestowing in one's heart and to grow as what we call Adam?
R. No to enter conception is to feel that the Creator enters you and the quality of bestowal injected into you. In you, first of all that you feel that you want to feel from above the drop of seed, this quality of bestowal and then from this quality of bestowal that you begin to work with yourself, with the friends and with the world, with everyone.
S. Growing in the 10 in BB along with us?
R. Yes.
58. S. (02:01:44) What is the most important prayer during the conception, is this the prayer for the quality of bestowal?
R. Yes.
59. S. (02:01:56) According to the example you just gave in the workshop the Creator helped us to make the hole so this is new territory. How to not leave the friends behind and work correctly in the 10 so they will keep coming to the lesson so we will be together, to request and to reach a new hole?
R. That is already work in the group, talk with everyone, discuss with everyone and to awaken each other. I can't help you with this.
60. S. (02:03:37) how to develop the thought of the importance of the creator into the feeling of the importance of the creator?
R. You always return yourself to the thought that you expect that something will come from Him, otherwise without this you have no chance to progress, only out of this will you receive assistance from the Creator to advance from that.
61. S. (02:04:13) The embryo is not a simple time if a friend cannot cope with the rejection and he gets tired, he loses his strength and wants to stop and take a break from the work?
R. There is no such thing that he takes a break and goes out, takes a vacation, no such thing. These spiritual actions must be truly as much as possible, without stopping. The group needs to hold each and every one as much as possible.
62. S. (02:05:01) Once you annul yourself before the upper one, by that we get the point of bestowal, is this the meaning of forming a form?
R. Yes. A form within a form.
63. S. (02:05:34) To truly want to receive from the Creator before he gave this, is this forming a form within a form?
R. Yes.
64. S. (02:05:53) If I may ask about the work in the 10, when a friend hears that the embryo is in an active state, he doesn't hear that you are saying to scrutinize this between you how to work with that? On the one hand you need to be annulled and on the other hand the friends are demanding a scrutiny?
R. We need to be in limitation and restriction of the desire to receive. This is called that we don't act or operate, we do and very actively that we cancel our desire to receive and it's not that I'm not doing anything. Even that I say that I’m expecting the Creator, when will the desire to bestow come. That I cannot do anything, whenever I receive it, I receive it. What am I doing in order to receive this desire to bestow. I need to work in the 10 in dissemination in studying and everything possible in order to prepare the vessels even more. If I'm not capable of doing it within myself which is called the preparation for Ibur, then at least in other corporeal forms in the world, in the 10, in BB, I can perform that.
S. With respect to the criticism, do we cancel that?
R. That is not so true as we need to be in criticism but the criticism that is building and building.
65. S. (02:07:52) The Kabbalists write that the feeling of conception is a miracle. On the other hand, we should always aspire to be in a state, to ask for it but still it will be not revealed as a result but as a miracle, how come?
R. Because it is a desire to bestow which is not in us at all, we don't even understand what is a desire to bestow. We think we have it, that we can give something to someone, it doesn't matter what I am doing, it is all the desire to receive. There's nothing in this that is called a desire to bestow, my intention in each and every action is to receive and none of us is in his desire to bestow and we don't understand what it is. The desire to the transition to the desire to bestow goes through nullification and in this point we feel that we are in the point of death, that we don't care what is going to happen, that we are willing to let go of everything, our whole life, relinquish everything. There are many sensations a person must go through in order to precisely understand what we are talking about, where he is entering, whatever the mind doesn't do, time does.
S. How can we understand this miracle that is about to happen in this incarnation or in the next one, when will this happen?
R. We don’t have time, we need to complete the correction now. It does not matter what age or what state you are in. Do you understand how many types of broken vessels are behind you and dependent on you? If we in our general group let's say the men here, if they will make a few steps forward in this we are going to change the world that we will correct all of reality. We will bring all of corporeality closer to spirituality, corporeality will nullify and be incorporated in spirituality and this world entirely rises to degrees of the upper world. It all depends on us and we have no time to wait, look what is happening outside. You think it's going to get better, it's not going to get better, I promised you this a while ago and not only once. It is better that there won't be corporeality, it is only in order to help us to look up, and the other side, when we will begin to correct spirituality in us? Corporeality will be corrected with no problem, from today till tomorrow everything will change for the good, we will get closer to one another, nature will be more friendly and everything will change. Until then we need to understand it all depends upon us, specifically on us, on all of us as if we all enter conception, impregnation. The changes in the world will be good to the extreme just think about it, how much the world is dependent on us and the opposite the more that we are late, the more you will see from day to day that things in the world are becoming more dangerous and worse and this is how it will continue, that things will continue themselves again and again, but the direction will not be good.
66. S. (02:12:47) Friends are the desire to receive, why do they want to be a mother, is intention and effort enough to conceive?
R. No, that is because the Creator clothes in us and in doing this he builds the quality of Bina, bestowal called Rechem, the womb, Ima and this is how we grow. The form of bestowing of the Creator, the clothing of the Creator in us builds the Divinity from the Rechem, the womb.
67. S. (02:13:51) The point of annulment the will to receive, emptiness, some volume that is free of the will to receive, what goes in and out of this volume?
R. This is not our matter, we are engaged in conception, you won't understand anything like this, just engage only with what we are learning.
S. Baal HaSulam wrote that there is a thread that goes into the connection?
R. Okay.
S. What is the thread?
R. The connection with the Creator begins out of this that in the created being it is felt the desire to bestow, then this ties him with the Creator so the desire to bestow that is conceived in the created being which is something new, a miracle like the exiting of Egypt. That a person can rise above this egoistic desire, but not at one time does it happen as goodness and mercy chase me. This is the verse and then he can just connect from his desire to receive and ascribe himself to the desire to bestow in a steady and constant manner. When he does this it is called that he enters conception and this is where we make an effort to build in each one, in the 10 and all of the tens together. I don't want to hear anything else besides that, nothing forward or after as if you already passed this and you are talking about what is later, the opposite. It is very bad if we are going to talk about the process afterwards, it is going to confuse us. So only discuss what has to do with conception, to stick or adhere ourselves within the womb, within the 10, with all of the tens and the Creator great, this is what we need to do. Have you ever seen the film how the sperm connects to the womb and it has to fight going through all kinds of obstacles until it enters the membrane of the womb and begins to determine its place there? Have you seen this film? There are many such films and we should find something suitable and everyone watch it. This is our work that we need to do. Do you understand how much force and desire and demand and external conditions and internal conditions are needed here to enter conception? To this day, if a woman conceives we think it is a miracle and it is a miracle especially by us. The miracle of exit in Egypt is called to transition from desire to receive to the desire to bestow, this is truly a miracle.
68. S. (02:18:38) What should we do more of that we can enter into conception now, not tomorrow, what more should we do to enter now?
R. Only prayer, you need to request from the Creator to work on you, to make a miracle to do you a huge favor that will connect you to Him. That is what will help and nothing else other than the Creator and nobody. All sorts of additional actions with the 10, with the teacher, with the world, that is all nice and good but ultimately the salvation comes only from the Creator, don't forget that.
69. S. (02:20:16) What should one search for to envy the friends to prepare the will to bestow?
R. On the way to spirituality you begin to review that I lack what each friend has, each friend has qualities, unique ones and I begin to reveal that this is exactly what I lack. How can that be? I don't know how it is possible, but this is what I reveal. I already have a different attitude towards them. What is this that I will receive something from the friends, his qualities, so I become closer to him in order to somehow be impressed from him and also from the second and the third and then more and more in such a manner, I receive in me and connect myself to them. Then we all become incorporated in one another, like something of what we were before the shattering, before the breaking. Let's make an effort to do this, but the sign for progress for the conception, spiritually is that we feel that we need to incorporate with the friends. That in each friend there is such qualities that I don't have and I absolutely need them.
70. S. (02:22:29) You actually answered the question we have as a 10 but if we may ask what are the signs of the entering into conception?
R. We haven't gone over that, we haven't spoken about it, it's a very good question and not a very simple one. What does it mean that we are entering conception, that we are connecting to the 10, and entering conception or do we enter conception within the 10, do we within the 10 reveal the Creator, through the 10 enter him, what is this called that we adhere and stick to the wall of the womb and to develop? It's not so simple, all of these things, all of these things are full of details and most of these details pass over us without us knowing about them. Later we will reveal them in higher degrees. In the time of conception we are in nullification but the embryo in the womb of his mother sees from the end of the world to the other end. Meaning that he can cancel himself and sees everything before him how much is everything we have yet to reveal, after that it's called, the candle is lit on his dead meaning Keter. The Creator illuminates them through his head and he is taught that the entire Torah because he is nullified. Through the entire course of the month of the pregnancy to the birth, NHY HBD HGT he is taught the entire Torah and receives the vessels of the upper and here he receives all of the fulfillment of the upper and in such a manner he lives within the womb.
That the womb protects him and nourishes him and does everything for him, this is the Creator, the quality of Bina that operates on us, not Keter but Bina that we received the nourishment and development. So the candle lit on his head, Keter that he is taught the entire Torah that light passes through him and this is it and later we learn how we are born. That the host later begins to press on the gas, the embryo and wants to chase him out through all kinds of pressures, contractions in the womb and slowly and gradually the embryo prepares itself. That it cancels itself even more, that it turns its head downwards and all of the inner light that was in him goes outwards and he passes through this narrow place which is called the dangerous narrow place, that he forgets everything.
All of the lights depart and is already born to the new world. That all of the womb and the month of pregnancy that he was in was just to prepare himself for birth. The secret of conception is birth and he begins to understand what is happening to him to be familiar with the forces that care for him, that drawing force, restricting force and all of these forces that begin to move, all of them will be able to reveal these forces in us and so until we advance towards them we can't learn them, it will confuse us and conception. That we would have an accident, a miscarriage so I am very much taking care here to focus on what we are learning and to realize what we are learning and not more. We have finished our lesson, I hope that you will talk about this more over the course of your day and prepare yourself for tomorrow.