How Do People Find Peace, Love, and Acceptance as They Knowingly Approach the End of Life?

When a person approaches the final days of life, it should not be viewed only as a time of separation but also as a special opportunity for inner growth. If the person’s state of health still lets them listen and speak, then it is of utmost importance that they create around an atmosphere that raises them above the sensation of the body and elevates their spirit. Such an atmosphere benefits both the person themselves and those around them, both physically and emotionally, because it opens before them a horizon of development that is not limited by the body and is not stopped even by the death of the body.

The best way to do this is through conversations about the deeper meaning of life, accompanied by simple practical reflections or exercises. According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, human existence is a continuous journey toward unity and completion.

By nature, the human being is made of a basic substance that Kabbalah defines as the desire to receive pleasure and fulfillment. We want to enjoy many things: food, sex, family, wealth, honor, knowledge. Yet as life progresses we discover that our ability to enjoy becomes limited.

One limitation is internal. Whenever we achieve something we strongly desire, the pleasure eventually fades. When we are very hungry and eat, the satisfaction soon disappears. We dream that a new car, a successful career, or an ideal relationship will make us happy, but after some time we get used to it. The excitement disappears, and often only exhaustion or disappointment remains.

The second limitation is external. The society around us does not let us realize our dreams because every other person is also driven by the same desire to enjoy. Our desires collide. If I want to be the richest, the most respected, the most successful, others are striving for the same thing. Competition arises, and people often build their success on the downfall of others.

When a person observes life honestly, a deep question emerges: Are we destined to live this way forever, generation after generation, within these internal and external limitations?

Some individuals took this question seriously and explored it deeply. Those who succeeded in uncovering the secret of life discovered that there is indeed a way to transcend these limitations. They found that the desire to enjoy can be fulfilled in a completely different way, one that does not diminish pleasure but continually increases it.

The key is in shifting our perception of reality from within oneself to within others. Instead of focusing on fulfilling our own private desires, we should begin to feel and fulfill the desires of others. This is called bestowal, the act of giving abundance, love, and care without self-interest. Life lived in bestowal is what Kabbalah calls spiritual life.

What does bestowal give us? It opens the perception of a new reality, a higher dimension beyond the one we feel through our physical senses. We begin to feel a life that exists beyond the body. If we reach this perception during our lifetime, then even when the physical body dies, the sense of existence continues in that higher dimension. In such a state, the body’s death is not felt as a final loss and it is thus not something to fear.

In the state of bestowal, the limitations on pleasure disappear. When we try to enjoy something for ourselves, food or rest, for example, there are clear limits to how much we can receive. But when we wish to give good to others, no one limits us and no one competes with us. People welcome warmth, support, encouragement, and love. The more we wish to give, the more we can experience fulfillment.

Even after the body ceases, development in bestowal continues. Just as the physical body develops through stages of conception, birth, infancy, childhood, and adulthood, spiritual development has stages as well. In spiritual development these stages correspond to deeper connection with others, greater love, and greater bestowal. We gradually discover an integral network that includes all parts of reality and learns its laws. By adapting ourselves to this network, we ascend what Kabbalah calls “spiritual degrees.”

For this reason, it is beneficial to speak about such things with those who approach the end of physical life and with those close to them. Even if it seems that only a short time remains, those moments can be used to acquire new understanding and feeling of the higher dimension. This can bring relief, hope, and a sense of meaning even in very difficult physical conditions. Everything we go through in life is meant to push us toward discovering this higher level of reality.

The more we help a person shift their attention away from the body and toward connection with others and bestowal, the more easily they can rise to the sensation of spiritual existence. Their relatives can help them in doing so. They should not treat the person as someone who is dying but as someone moving forward to the next stage of development. They should strengthen within themselves and within them the understanding that the purpose of life is to move from the narrow egoistic perception of reality to a wider perception based on love and giving.

If we manage to rise to mutual bestowal, the connection between us does not disappear even when one of us leaves this world. We continue to feel one another within the eternal network of connection. Those who reveal this network perceive all created beings, whether they are living in physical bodies in this world or have already left them.

Therefore, it is worthwhile to take the principle of mutual bestowal very seriously. Even if the heart does not yet feel it fully, we can begin by expressing positive attitudes toward one another, applying ourselves to fulfill each other’s needs and strengthen our mutual responsibility. What begins as effort eventually becomes nature. Through this we gradually approach the perception of a new dimension of existence.

In a broader view, human evolution throughout history and the myriad crises we experience today are leading us toward the necessity of integral connection among ourselves and with nature. Evolution has already passed through the levels of the still, vegetative, and animate. Now humanity is called to rise to the next level, beyond the individual’s desire, and into the collective desire of all humanity. By doing so, we enter a dimension of existence that stands above time, space, and motion.

The sages who already attained this state said, “You will see your world in your lifetime.” They also left us the method for spiritual development so that we too may reach it. The final moments of life can thus become a precious gateway to discovering the meaning of existence.

Based on “New Life 105 – Life and Death, Part 2” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.