How Can Parents Support Healthy Development in Their Newborn Child During the First Year of Life?
In birth, everything changes for the fetus, for the mother, and for the father.
Let us begin with the newborn. In the process of birth, he felt himself breaking into a new state. Now he must be as close as possible to his mother’s body, to feel her smell, her breasts, to be on her. This is his new place, his source of life. Is it from here that he draws his vitality. The blood that nourished him in the womb is replaced by milk, and this symbolizes the next stage of his development. And just as he was inside her womb, he still needs a connection with her, only in a slightly more external form. It is advisable that she be as close to him as possible, as if the umbilical cord had not been cut.
From the side of nature, the period of nursing is two years. Throughout this time, the baby absorbs from his mother not only material nourishment, but also mental, internal, and emotional nourishment. Everything passes from his mother to him: thoughts, intentions, attitude to life, and perception of reality.
We are living in a period in which the world is becoming more and more interconnected, and mutual dependence among everyone is increasing. In tomorrow’s world, we will feel that we are all in the same boat and that we must take others into account as ourselves. Otherwise, we will all sink. This is the future world that we are inevitably going to reach, and the integral approach of education teaches that the evolutionary forces are pushing us there. Therefore, it is worthwhile already now to develop an integral perception of ourselves, society, and the environment. In other words, we should begin to view ourselves as all being members of one family, parts of a single large system.
Parents who understand that this is the trend and work on developing the integral perception radiate it to the next generation as well. It is advisable that they think and talk as much as possible about connection, mutuality, and complementarity, about a positive attitude between people, up to the level of love. That they literally draw the future they wish for their child, and think about what they can already begin doing today in order to build it. The integral attitude passes to the child, as said, building in him more advanced “software” for perceiving reality. This will help him manage in the new world, and there is nothing more important than that which he can receive from his parents.
There are also many expressions of the integral perception. The music they will play for the child, the stories they will tell him, the games they will bring him, all of these should match that integral frequency: connection, harmony, and unification, and not struggle, war, and separation. In accordance with the child’s development, it is advisable to challenge him with games in which he will be required to find ways to connect opposites, to repair broken things, and the like. From this he will learn that there is nothing in nature that does not have a complement.
Between the ages of two and three, it is advisable for the child to integrate into a small group of children, something like five children. Later it is possible to expand the social circle to about ten children. In this society the child will learn how to relate to others, through interactions with those similar to him, how to receive from society and how to give to it in a balanced and harmonious manner.
If we were already living now in a corrected society, disruptions such as postpartum depression would not occur. From the side of nature, the mother is not supposed to feel bad about herself. But because the society in which we live is corrupted, i.e., the connections between people are supportive, loving, caring, and encouraging enough, then there are many ego games, struggles for control, and intrigues. The corruption seeps into all areas of life, including our mental and physical state.
The response that the integral approach to education offers to this is based on development within a group framework. Parents-to-be learn to appreciate the special state they are in. They are bringing into the world a child who will be connected with everyone in love, who will open new worlds for himself, beyond all the limits of narrow perception. They are partners with nature in the act of creation, and this is treated precious, valued, and wonderful.
The integral connection that will be created among the women during pregnancy will continue also after the birth, and the regular meetings will provide them with warmth and support, an empowering environment. Therefore, no one will feel lonely, disconnected, or lost. The fathers too will support one another, give advice on how to cope with the new situation, and how to help the mother.
Nature is like one great womb in which a new humanity is developing. All the negative feelings we experience, all the pressures and difficult situations, all come in order to force us to draw closer to one another, to increase support, love, care, and encouragement among society. Just as the various connections that form by themselves between cells in the body of the fetus, so we are required to consciously build an increasingly advanced form of connection between us, a good environment, so that we will have an easy birth into our new, harmonious, balanced, and whole integral human connection.
Based on "New Life 103 – Pregnancy And Childbirth: After Birth" with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.