Transcription is made from simultaneous translation which leaves a possibility for differences in the audio.
Daily Lesson (Morning) March 10, 2024.
Part 1: Rabash. Article No. 35, 1989. What Is, “He Who Is Without Sons,” in the Work?
Reader: Hello, we are reading the writings of Rabash, the article, What Is, “He Who Is Without Sons,” in the Work? You can find the study material on Sviva Tova in the Arvut, you can send questions live through the sites. Anyone asking a question in the study hall should stand up, hold the microphone close to his mouth and speak loudly and clearly. The writings of Rabash, article, What Is, “He Who Is Without Sons,” in the Work?
Reading Article: (00:44) “Our sages said, any person without sons is regarded as dead…”
Student: (35:10) It sounds like that the heart of the matter is that we need assistance from the Torah, that there should be a clear demand before we come to study what I want the Torah to correct in me. He connects it all to doing everything he does for the sake of the Creator, so that's the discernment. Am I working for the sake of the Creator or not?
M. Laitman: Yes.
Student: But the Creator is concealed from a person, and a person's own intention is also concealed from him. Meaning, it's very difficult for us to discern what is my intention when I do something. So if the two most important parameters are hidden, how can I come and demand from the Torah?
M. Laitman: Well, let's ask the friends and see.
Student: (36:31) I'd like to continue the friend's question but from a different angle.
M. Laitman: No, we need to answer. He asks you to answer, and so forth.
Student: He's talking about the gift. It's the gift that we should say thank you every day for what we have here, and I'm asking, the gift is that he has chosen us from among all the nations. On the other hand, the gift is the Torah. The Torah, if we don't awaken it and don't do it with the right intention for the Creator, then it's not Torah, it's barren. So I'm asking myself, every day I get up in the morning here, I'm thankful to the Creator for the friends, for the great teacher, for Rabash or Baal HaSulam. In the end, I'm asking what should I say thank you for? What is the great gift because in the end, if I look here, in the end, I have to attribute it all to the Creator. I'm asking, what is the gift here?
M. Laitman: You’re not answering his question, you bring up your question. No, no, no, I want you all to understand. I am interested that you will ask and reply and ask and respond so there will be some discussion among you. Rather than each one throwing a question to the air.
Student: I'm asking, maybe we should attribute it all to the Creator in the end. Because we are here, because we have the Creator, because the Creator gave us the Torah, the light that reforms. Because we have the writings of the Kabbalists. So I think we should attribute it all to the Creator. But how, in this process of thanking, how do I attribute it all to the Creator? It doesn't come straight like that.
M. Laitman: Who can respond?
Student: (38:45) The answer is in the article itself, “For this reason he must begin this work by himself. Then he gradually gets a desire that it is worthwhile to work for the sake of the Creator, and the order of ascents and descents begins in him. Meaning, once he sees that it is worthwhile to work for the sake of the Creator, and once he surrenders to the complaints of the body, which asks what is this work for you, to work for the sake of the Creator. Through the ascents and descents, he begins to understand what is the benefit in working in order to bestow.” What he loses, if he cannot emerge from self-love, I think that's the answer.
M. Laitman: Who thinks otherwise or can add?
Student: (39:54) I will add that, according to what he writes here, that he must begin to do the work in all the complaints we have. Why? What for? In order to weaken us from really making the effort. All those questions and complaints and arguments and problems. It's all from the will to receive. Why do I need to work now? We have to overcome that, as well. Simply work and as the Rabash says, it will become revealed to him.
M. Laitman: More? Someone else there wanted?
Student: (40:49) With your permission, Rav, I'll read two small excerpts. He says “a person has to begin by overcoming and a person has to see that he has a desire to defeat the evil inclination. Afterward, he says, when a person truly wants to work for the sake of the Creator, the body begins to show its might, that he wants a person to do everything for his own benefit and resists this work with all his might.” I feel that in the transition between the two, the Creator is letting us build our relation to Him, from the giver of the gift to the gift. Because in the end, we have to move this whole process, overcome from within us. From that, you discover how opposite you are, and you keep needing the Creator's help. My question is, is the Creator's help the Torah, the reforming light, actually the Creator? What do we draw with our common force?
M. Laitman: Yes. More? No questions. Yes?
Question (PT 31): (42:08) Why is doing tactics to obtain vessels of bestowal called doing?
M. Laitman: That which the Creator has created we should do, meaning man has to do it.
Question (PT 22): (42:31) He writes that working in order to obtain vessels of bestowal, if they are not tactics, what are they?
M. Laitman: That he will do everything in order to draw the light that reforms, and only by that he can get closer to execution, to doing in the Ten.
Question (Belarus): (43:02) Who is barren in learning Torah?
M. Laitman: “A barren is one who has no sons”, that means that he cannot give birth to good deeds, deeds of bestowal from his life.
Question (PT 31): (43:26) What exactly is the time of learning Torah? Can we learn Torah only during the lesson? Or can we also learn Torah during the day?
M Laitman: You can be day and night within the Torah. It all depends on the desire, how to aim the desire. How to try to increase the desire, then this means one studies the Torah.
Question (Women Moscow 8): (44:03) What is the right relation we should have toward the bad that is revealed in us?
M. Laitman: That this evil comes only in order for us to overcome it and thus grow. That’s why the Creator, He orchestrates the evil for us.
Question (Africa): (44:27) What does it mean to adhere to the life of lives?
M. Laitman: To adhere to the life of lives means the Creator. He is the source of life, and we have to draw the light that reforms in order to reach the core of life, to adhere to Him.
Question (Woman MAK 88): (44:50) How is it possible to emerge from a state of being barren?
M. Laitman: That means to try to, each time, restart the work and understand everything depends on man and not the Creator. As it says that which the Creator has created we shall do, meaning make actions of bestowal, actions of connection and in that way, a person obligates the Creator to help him, and thus by the light that reforms he comes out of in order to receive.
Student: (45:56) I, too, wanted to ask why tactics and counseling are called actions. I understand that actions mean a person tries again and again and again to do the same thing. Tactics and counsels almost sound like you're looking for something in regular life, tactics and counsels are about how not to work.
M. Laitman: Why will tactics not work?
Student: Because they're usually tricks or things like that, it sounds almost opposite.
M. Laitman: On the way towards the goal, you have tactics and ploys and counsels of all kinds, all of which should advance you to the goal.
Student: Aren't the actions persistent on doing the same thing day in and day out?
M. Laitman: The action means an effort by which you move away from the will to receive.
Student: We learn here, too, that the counsels are actually the Torah itself. It's not like we have any counsels, there's only one counsel. So why do we need to look for ploys and tactics every day, we have one counsel. We just need to persist, to continue, no?
M. Laitman: I do not think this is so. Still, if a person accepts his work seriously, then he sees that each time there is a new thing for him. There are new conditions, new limitations, therefore I wouldn't think it's the same thing.
Student: Every time we ask you, you say “There's only one thing you need to do, connect”.
M. Laitman: No, but even in the connection itself, there are thousands of various conditions, and it says, “They shall be new to you every day”, and so forth.
Student: What is the new thing? How to see..?
M. Laitman: To see that in each and every moment, new conditions emerge in your work to get closer to Torah and Mitzvot, meaning to the Creator and the spiritual nature.
Student: What should we be looking for, how the conditions changed? Or that the Creator gives new conditions that five minutes ago..?
M. Laitman: Based on what you discover, based on what appears to you.
Student: (49:01) What does it mean to begin the work, when a person begins the work?
M. Laitman: Basically, every moment. Every time a person feels that he has to begin, he has a new idea. Some sort of new inspection of sorts, anything, so he starts anew. There is no specific evil thing here that activates the person, no.
Student: What is interpreted in my own vessels is that to begin the work means to do something with my own strength.
M. Laitman: Something of your own strength, of course, you examine yourself. Do you understand the work, do you feel the work? You, as if, restart the work anew, once again you turn to the Creator, you ask, you pray.
Student: He writes here that, ”if I don't begin the work anew, it is as if I am lying to myself”, so to speak. I'm trying to understand what it means to begin the work anew every time. How do I see that I'm in falsehood or in a lie? Do I have to begin the work again?
M. Laitman: Check and see how clean your vessels are. Meaning your goal is clean, your work is clean, how much you really want to help the others. First the Ten and then everyone else, and how you adhere to them and not to yourself. How much you want to invest only in them and see your success, there, and not in your own pockets, and so on.
Student: Okay. Thank you.
M. Laitman: Yes, I am asking everyone to listen to what the friends are saying and be ready to get involved and add and ask, as well. It is not that I am working here with each of you, individually.
Student: (51:44) That’s correct. I'd like to continue the scrutiny about the process of the work itself. Because it says here that “gradually a person acquires the flavor of working the Shema.” In the work itself are there parts that are for the sake of the Creator, where during the work you get some flavor and then in the end you are rewarded with working for the sake of the Creator? In the work itself, are there parts that are for the sake of the Creator during the ascents and descents, can I detect them within me?
M. Laitman: Well, it has to come, a person has to start scrutinizing it.
Student: He can feel for the sake of the Creator because it's something he's rewarded with, but if he’s been rewarded, how is it connected to the work?
M. Laitman: As an outcome.
Student: An outcome? I have many more questions.
M. Laitman: We'll see, for now.
Student: (52:50) I'd also like to ask about the ploys and tactics and counsels? Because he says that “a wise is someone who wants to be a wise disciple, for this, he needs to seek advice and counsels”. Baal HaSulam also says, “turn away from all the imaginary engagements and seek advice on how to reach love of friends”, etc. There are two things here. There's the power of the will to receive and there are all kinds of tricks in it, ploys, how to implement it, how to realize it. Yesterday, there was a Women's lesson, very powerful on the one hand, with great power. On the other hand, at least I felt that it was kind of in terms of tactics or things, all kinds of tips and counsel that were not really precise and accurate. How do you take the power of the woman within us and maybe the precision of the man within us and combine them?
M. Laitman: There are many discernments in that, too. It says man and woman and the Shechina between them, that they are as one, and, they are also divided between them. and each one can vary in their states with respect to the other, and both of them vary with respect to the Creator. However, we have to make sure, first of all, that when you take a woman, meaning to have Malchut of Heaven, so she will be the daughter of a wise disciple, that is the Creator. That you will have contact with that, clarify things onwards. I do not know; it is an ocean of things here.
Student: I'm asking because I felt a huge desire to advance, this kind of aspiration, powerful to advance, and at the same time, helplessness, in terms of how to do it. When there's a Men's lesson, you can try to seek an attempt to make things more precise, and it's very different. I'm asking how to combine these things within us.
M. Laitman: First of all, we always have to examine ourselves whether when we engage with women, are we lowering the bar or not, so they feel that in our work with them, we are also demanding to raise the bar. Now, what is important is to allow them an opportunity to advance. In the meantime, they do not exactly know, they follow us in some way, to a small extent they listen. But we still do not have the same kind of work with them as the men have, and that is not good, it is not good. A woman has to really take the same portion from our study as we get, and we have to move towards that and in getting closer, we'll also gain support. We are in great need of that, a correct, massive support from the other half of the Kli.
Student: Again, it feels like there’s a very, very powerful engine, it’s indescribable power, but there is no steering wheel directing this.
M. Laitman: The wheel is in each and every one's hands to the extent that one organizes his other half, his wife. To be help made against him and then both of them will move correctly. That is why Rabash made such an emphasis on that, that it is necessary that even if a person loses his wife, then within days, he should get remarried. In general, it was apparent on him how he was into that very devotedly.
Student: I feel like my question is not clear yet.
M. Laitman: Yes, that needs, it requires, changing the men's attitude, and the women's attitude, and try to show how to connect both of them so that man and woman are as one, the female part and the masculine part as one, and they have to complement each other; otherwise, in our time, as we are moving towards the complete correction, we will be working with a broken Kli, and nothing will come out of that.
Student: Let’s say, I look at you because you are an example for us. There's a morning lesson where you are facing the men and in the noon lesson, usually, most of the questions are women's questions, and in the Shabbat lesson you're facing the women too. We see that something else comes out of you, something more. I don't know if it's more exhausting or harder, something more powerful, I think, when you are facing women, and it's as if we're missing in this, we’re not with you in this.
M. Laitman: I do not know. I think that opposite them, I am clarifying things which are the bigger half of the Kli. It’s difficult to work with them, also that you are not demanding from your women, the devotion. They have it, but naturally, it’s not that it comes from couples, from the relationship between the spouses.
Student: (01:01:22) I'm asking a friend’s question: What was felt yesterday from the gathering of the women was a very powerful force that exists here, on the other hand there was a lot of kind of dispersion, like the women are not directed. When this force is activated, it doesn't come out like we feel in the morning lesson, like focused and pushing forward like a punch. What's the right way to use, to activate the women Kli so it will return to the men's Kli and to the world Kli in general?
M. Laitman: A woman has to feel that she comes out to the women lesson under some pressure from her men, and when she comes back, she has to feel like she is giving back all that power and direction that she has received. That's the first thing. Secondly, we should also see it on children if it's already possible to transmit something to them. But women are very, very serious, very responsible for everything that we have to do together with them.
Student: Today, the people, it’s very diverse. There are women who are participating in the lesson now, veteran women, on the other hand there are women who just joined now.
M. Laitman: Well?
Student: What's the right treatment? Let's say if you had the strength to take care of women, what's the right, consistent treatment of women that would advance all of us?
M. Laitman: I don't know. You're asking all of a sudden a very big and deep question and I have to now turn into that to answer that. I don't know, but I think that it first depends on the attitude of the men. The more the man will turn to his wife and demand it from her and speak to her and be close to her like a partner. Then accordingly you'll see a change of attitude in relation to it.
Student: Final question, you said you’re not demanding of your women devotion. You said they have natural devotion, but you are not demanding of them devotion. What should we demand of them?
M. Laitman: Demanding devotion from the woman is that she will be devoted to the group and her husband and the lessons and the talks that they're participating in, so it means demanding seriousness from the woman with regards to that. Beyond that, there are other things. When we start getting closer to each other begins the matter of the spiritual work and where the man is incapable, the woman has to come and help him and support him, without which he won't be able to hold the Kli. And in general, how they discover it, man, woman, and the Shechina between them, how they discover that together, what is that Kli between them, together. That’s not simple.
Student: (01:05:42) I just want to point out that the majority of women you saw yesterday are not married to men who are here, either they are married to someone who's not on the path or they're not married altogether.
M. Laitman: Yes.
Student: The solution of working together between a man and a woman who were rewarded is the solution that we see that it always works, but we also need a solution for our Kli, for the world Kli in general, in that sense. For the women in general, not to a specific woman.
M. Laitman: Yes, that's correct, we should find a solution for that. But again, there should be, a man should have a woman, and then he has to build a Kli with her.
Student: (01:07:05) Speaking of this topic, until a few months ago there was a group of friends who took the initiative and organized a meeting of couples, which was a great blessing. It picked up initially but very quickly people lost interest. It's actually the core of the couples in Bnei Baruch didn't come to these meetings. The couples that came were.., so it was a platform that could have developed and I think that on the part of men, there's not enough importance to cultivating their relationships, each one works at home and they don't use this social platform. We learn that the power of the group is a meaningful one and we run away from this place and look for our own corners where I'm supposed to succeed in doing something. I feel like we're missing out here, maybe we should take that direction and pick it up again.
M. Laitman: Might be, could be.
Student: (01:08:24) While we're on the subject, I'd like to share my impression from yesterday, something closer to the spiritual the way I see it. There's a great deficiency on the part of the women and also in the excerpt that was read in the beginning about the Nukva. She’s a special force, and there’s a connection of Malchut with Zeir Anpin which together raise a prayer, raise MAN, and cause a coupling in Abba ve Ima. I don't really know about this but that's what I read and what I felt was that there really was a deficiency. Maybe it's not very scrutinized, but from the male part, which is Zeir Anpin, I didn't feel it like it wanted to connect to the Nukva and raise MAN, that's my impression.
M. Laitman: Okay.
Student: (01:09:43) In the morning lessons you demand, you direct us to work with a common deficiency, to feel the deficiencies of others and we work in a way that we become more impressed with the deficiencies of the friends and from this we grow and awaken the lesson, enliven the lesson. In the noon lessons, I don't feel like it's the same atmosphere. There, each one comes with his own deficiency and we don't feel the common work like we do here.
M. Laitman: The noon lesson is a number of groups if I you can say that, from overseas, and women from both overseas and from Israel.
Student: I feel that there is less of an atmosphere of connection in the noon lesson.
M. Laitman: There is a different atmosphere, yes.
Student: Maybe that's the reason for the difference because for decades we've been learning to work together out of unity and in the noon lesson it's not as felt, that's why it's more difficult to participate in this lesson. I may be listening, but participation, there are many people who want to ask many questions and each one wants to scrutinize his own deficiency, but there's no one collecting these deficiencies into one. The articles are also a lot shorter. Here we read for 30 minutes, 45 minutes, and connect around the same topic that accompanies us for a long time, and that also gives us strong feelings. Here, these are the points that I can see in terms of the differences between the morning lessons and the noon lessons.
M. Laitman: That's true. What to do? I don't see an ability to change things unless the audience will change, in terms of the noon lesson. But the way it is today, that's how it will be, always as kind of a studying during the break, so to speak. Okay, we'll think. We'll think about how to strengthen the noon lesson, and how to connect the friends, men and women, in a more unified way.
Student: (01:12:35) What's the difference between demanding help from the Creator or demanding from the Torah?
M. Laitman: I can't get into these details now. Demand, what does it matter? Everything is a demand from the Creator.
Student: If a person feels like he still was not rewarded with vessels of bestowal that means he did something wrong along the way, right? Or maybe he thinks that he didn't need help, or maybe he didn't make enough effort?
M. Laitman: There are many such questions, yes.
Student: What does he do with the feeling that he's doing something many times but gets no result, what's the conclusion he should draw?
M. Laitman: Probably something principal, something central escaped him.
Student: Engagement in the Torah, shouldn't it organize, arrange a person?
M. Laitman: I do not know what you mean to engage in the Torah, if he comes here and falls asleep on the chair that's it?
Student: No, he says before he begins in the Torah he should bless in the Torah, ask for the Torah correction for life before he engages in it, otherwise it'll become a curse.
M. Laitman: So what, he reads the blessing of the Torah, what?
Student: No, it means he should organize his intention before he studies.
M. Laitman: Yes.
Student: Let's assume a person makes the intention before he studies.
M. Laitman: What does it mean, it means he comes to the study with a deficiency.
Student: He comes with a deficiency; he sits with the friends to demand from the Torah. Not just nice phrases for the intellect but for the light of the Torah to come and change him and change his intentions. When he leaves, he sees that as he came in, he came out. What's missed along the way, what did he miss?
M. Laitman: Probably his intention first of all should be checked, and whether he realized that intention. Did he connect with the friends to a single desire, single direction, tendency towards one goal? They supported each other and established the connection between them as a single desire, as a single vessel and that's how he continued.
Student: After all of a person's actions, he made efforts, he overcame, he asked.
M. Laitman: Connected.
Student: Connected. In the end, there has to be like a click of help from the Creator and then the Creator will help him.
M. Laitman: Yes. This kind of vessel is first in connection between them.
Student: But there's something that doesn't depend on a person. He can do whatever he wants, in the end if he doesn't get help from above it won't help him.
M. Laitman: Of course, of course.
Student: What should he do in order for the Creator to help, because sometimes it seems like you're doing everything and He doesn't help.
M. Laitman: So you haven't done everything there is to do, that's nature.
Student: Must there be a state where if a person does everything, the Creator has to help him?
M. Laitman: Of course. You mustn't even think that this cannot happen, simple as that.
Question: (01:16:12) About the Women's Convention yesterday, I wanted to say that I felt there was a lot of pain, a lot of demand, some very scrutinized and precise, some dispersed, but kind of looking and seeking in the dark what to do. Here in the morning lesson with the men things are more clear, precise, going in a direction but I have the feeling that there's a missing component of pain here, that we can take this pain that is tangible and work with it. My question is, how do we take this pain that is felt from our women and advance with it, us men?
M. Laitman: You can incorporate in that pain; you can incorporate in it. Try to feel a little what pains a woman, how much from birth, from your attitude, from the attitude to her life she feels herself alone and she has no other way to approach the Creator but through her husband. In truth, it's the same for the husband, except we don't think about it much. We forget that a person is really called half a body, that he doesn't seem to belong to spiritual work if he's not married and so on and so forth.
Student: Is it correct that if a woman would be able to pass her pain to her man, it will really help him, it will help us all?
M. Laitman: It depends on the man and not on the woman. A woman is ready to influence a man with her pain but the question is, is man ready to absorb it and to respond to it?
Student: What attitude does a man need to have to be able to absorb such a pain?
M. Laitman: He needs to feel responsibility for pain regarding how much he owes a woman and he doesn't get to it, he disrespects it. Men naturally disrespect a woman, disparages a woman, we know it. That's why this is mostly men's work.
Student: What is the help against him, how does he use it in truth, in this pain?
M. Laitman: I think that first of all you need to understand that if they don't connect, they don't attain this wholeness.
Student: Thank you.
Student: (01:19:49) How does a man whose wife is not on the path or a woman who doesn't have her husband that's working on the path, how should one work with it?
M. Laitman: Tell them a little bit about what's happening in spirituality, what's happening with us, how much we need to be closer to one another.
Student: I do share it. My wife's not on the path, sometimes she doesn't want to listen, sometimes she feels coerced by it but it's not easy.
M. Laitman: Yes, I understand you. Nevertheless, we need to try and fill her as much as possible as if unrelated to the lesson and the group, but indirectly.
Student: (01:20:59) With my work in the Ten I more or less know, we connect, we read, workshops. With my wife, what do we do, do I need to also study, do I need to also do some kind of spiritual work?
M. Laitman: I used to see Rabash and how he studied with his girls, his daughters. He read the articles to them, the same articles he wrote for us.
Student: Okay, so with my wife I can also read and even talk about the article?
M. Laitman: Of course, you can do everything with a woman, you can be totally open with her.
Student: Even the article from the morning?
M. Laitman: Of course. There are no boundaries there with a woman.
Student: What does that add to a person that he goes with his wife on this path this way?
M. Laitman: He prepares for himself a complete vessel.
Student: He will become more ready?
M. Laitman: For the Creator to influence him through the woman. This is extremely important. You can find in the Torah all kinds of customs seemingly where if man lacks this partner, the woman as a partner, he cannot advance.
Student: (01:22:39) In what way is the connection between a man and his wife and a man and his friends in his Ten, how are those different?
M. Laitman: It's completely different, completely different. With his wife, a man can be connected without any limitations. Whereas with the friends, he always needs to be on guard, how much he's being open or closed, whether he speaks or not but there he carries out other commandments.
Student: The connection there is in the Ten, between men in the Ten, does it not cover all? What else does it add for him, that connection with his wife?
M. Laitman: No no, it doesn't cover everything. The woman nevertheless gets involved with more internal actions of a person.
Student: What does he take out of there for his spiritual work?
M. Laitman: He doesn't extract anything, he feels it in his heart directly, right away, straight in his heart. I can't even express it.
Student: This couple that studies the wisdom of Kabbalah, a man has his Ten, his wife has her Ten, they read Rabash and all that, they each advance in their way. What's in the connection between them, what else can you take from that connection between them?
M. Laitman: A person feels an additional vessel in the connection with a woman. Truly an additional vessel.
Student: How is this Kli created?
M. Laitman: From connection with a woman.
Student: Out of the routine meeting on a daily basis or some additional..
M. Laitman: The connection between them and how each time they connect. One is making contact with the other internally.
Student: (01:25:04) What exercises can you do between spouses because we have in the Ten a complete article on how to relate?
M. Laitman: Pick such articles that are worthwhile of studying with a woman.
Student: Beyond the study, towards the friends, how we learn, one relates from above, one from below, inequality, to see their merits and not their faults, etc. Are there more specific things or unique matters that spouses should work with?
M. Laitman: What do you have here that you’re not allowed to do with a woman?
Student: Not that it's prohibited, but we understand that there are certain changes, there are certain differences, as in the convention. I was very impressed by it; I feel like I don't have such a desire. Maybe a man brings more precision or guidance, but what can you do, what kind of exercises can we do between spouses that can maybe help in this matter?
M. Laitman: I don't know, I need to think about it. In truth, you can do the same exercises as you do amongst yourself in the Ten. Try, try, think about it, try to talk about it, start discussing it. You'll see how many questions you have in there and if you have solutions or you don't. But just understand that without this vessel, we're not coming even close to the corrections, because we are in the time of the end of correction and it's extremely dependent on the connection between men and women. That's why we see women who are so advanced and so demanding.
Student: Really, if without this Kli we can't advance and reach the end of correction, why don't we devote time to this topic altogether?
M. Laitman: I have to ask you, why are you asking me? You're like little kids with a nanny, you throw everything at me.
Student: Not upon you but there's a system that defines the study material and what to devote time to.
M. Laitman: Yes, they decide. I don't know, let's say yesterday I came to the lesson, I saw before me an article. That's how it is each time, also every morning.
Student: Would you want to have such lessons that talk concretely about the relations between..?
M. Laitman: I want nothing, I want you to know that everything is in your hands, and the connection between men and women, especially today, we see it from every area in the world, we should not let go of it.
Student: Is it worthwhile for us to have such lessons let’s say Saturday afternoon? There are many women to talk about this topic.
M. Laitman: Maybe, decide but decide together, yes or no. It should be clear to everyone. There should be the scrutiny of the vessel of each and every one.
Student: (01:28:42) I participated a lot, almost a year, in the meetings with the relationship, and I also worked in the Ten. What I felt the most was that it's not two different worlds. It's two things that complement and complete one another in a very intensive manner. These are scrutinies that rose in me. I feel like they advanced me in the work in the Ten greatly. I think that if we were to participate more with our wives in this mutual work, we will fly into spirituality.
Student: (01:29:24) Rav, I think what we're mostly missing, and I think you're trying to help us with this, is our independence, and it's expressed in this as well. We could feel it with the women yesterday as well. They're always waiting for something to come out of your mouth, to demand for you to bless them on this, for you to push, and then they're certain that something will come out. We as a society are lacking the independence that you've been trying to give us for years, to take an idea, to take something meaningful and important, and to raise it up with our own forces. If you don't push, and you don't raise it, even if it starts, it doesn't hold water. So how do we get out of this mess? In relations and other things, only if you announce that this is the order of the day, and we're working on it, then it suddenly succeeds. As a society, we're...
M. Laitman: Very well, we will start. I demand of you. What do I need to demand?
Student: I don't know. In this case, we're talking about giving importance to relationships and women's power and how we uplift this. It could be in other things as well, but our independence is completely missing. It's like you're trying to release us, and we're holding on to your skirt and not letting go.
M. Laitman: Yes. So, talk about it, and we'll see where we can advance.
Student: (01:31:04) First of all, you suggested that if there were a convention for bachelors and bachelorettes, that you would be there. You suggested it in the beginning of the lesson. You said that you were willing to participate. First of all, they don't come if you're not there. Much less come. The other thing is the refinements of what this is, and what it means that you're seeking a partnership in relations. It was something that you said, and I'm really asking especially. Now, you always say that women need to demand of men, and today for the first time I'm hearing that we actually need to demand something of the women. What is that?
M. Laitman: Participation. Participation. We need to demand participation as much as possible. That's it.
Student: A little beyond their desire, kind of.
M. Laitman: We'll start and see. What are you trying to get out of me?
Student: Can I ask something about the article? Is it already no longer?
M. Laitman: No.
Student: (01:32:26) Sorry, but I didn't hear in the convention about relationship. I heard a desire that wants a change in the world, that wants to reveal a better world, that wants to bestow to the world. I didn't hear anything about relationships there. That's the correct desire to which we need to connect, both male and female, which we need to ask for correction. I don't know how to describe it, but that's what's missing. No?
M. Laitman: Okay. Yes.
Student: (01:33:10) Just to strengthen what the friend just said right now. Yesterday, you could really feel it. There’s a certain immense force, burst, of how to do better for the world. We seem to be concentrating on different things that weren’t mentioned yesterday. We really need to listen to what was said yesterday. There are some things that weren't mentioned yesterday, and we really need to listen to what was said yesterday. They asked yesterday for help from us, from the men, how to come outwards in the most beneficial way to the world. That's what we need to hear, and that's what we need to concentrate our attention to. There were many questions there to give answers, and not in some www something. We need to truly concentrate on the questions and their desire to go out to the world and concentrate on that.
Student: (01:34:09) There's natural devotion, and there's devotion that comes naturally, and it doesn't come from couples. So I wanted to ask if there's some special power towards the Kli, the society. The world that needs to specifically come from couples.
M. Laitman: Yes, men and women and the Shechina between them. Meaning it's one unit and from such a unit. The complete vessel will be assembled and then with their deficiency they rise up to the Creator, higher and higher.
Student: I can take an example from this world that if a husband and wife raise children together, and they do it correctly, this contributes to the whole world. That's their common work.
M. Laitman: That is a certainty.
Student: Are there things that are more different or more external or more internal that they can also in such a way contribute to everyone?
M. Laitman: Yes, around that, a lot.
Student: (01:35:35) I can say that personally I heard a lot of deficiencies yesterday also about relations, also about the whole world and everything. It's clear that everything is connected to everything. But if I were to take a small part of what you said today on this topic then as far as nature is concerned men naturally disparage women and the question is how do we work on this so that we are obliged to not disregard women. Each of us works today on this. Is it also the work that we do in the Ten? Is this topic even supposed to be expressed in some way and be scrutinized and if so, how?
M. Laitman: We need to be first of all connected and from this connection between us we need for each one to accept his wife also anyone who is not married should get married and start a family and be in this connection more and more but the connection begins from a person who is looking for a connection with the Creator from that he connects to the woman and with her he establishes a home and they connect more and more in such a way.
Student: This is the work that each of us on this path is trying to do with himself but in the personal matters of working relations it's clear that it's more complex both of them are in the path and only one of them is and there's all kinds of combinations of that. That's not something that we bring to a conversation in the Ten even in our weekly meeting we don't raise this because the question is whether it's even correct or if...
M. Laitman: That's according to the demand of a certain public.
Student: (01:38:05) It's okay to change the topic a little bit I wanted to ask about how we study in the morning. It seems like you're trying to put some kind of direction where we're making this more into a discussion some kind of group kind of work where a person asks you, another answers, and you guide things; I would like for us to improve in this and do it better what is that direction?
M. Laitman: You're not participating, someone is asking this second may be asking, the others fall asleep.
Student: It seems to me like we're a little shocked from this new approach and that's why I want a little guidance. How do you think it needs to happen because it seems like you're truly guiding us in this direction?
M. Laitman: I would love to get there, but I also don't know what to do because it depends on how much each and every one wants to actively participate in the lesson.
Student: But how does it need to be? Let's say a friend rises with a question, then another friend answers him from what he feels. Then the Rav hears it and guides it in a way that if it's not correct. How does it need to happen?
M. Laitman: The main thing is the participation; the main thing is to participate. That all the friends here and around the world will participate in the absorption of the material.
Student: I want to give an example that's a little confusing. Let's say Gilad or Dudi stand up and ask a question. They're like veteran instructors, they're excellent. If a student were to come and ask the same question that they asked you, they would give an amazing answer. But there's something in this that the friend is asking Rav and the whole world is connecting to this deficiency. It could be, even it's an answer that we hear for twenty years, there's still something that Rav is answering. It's like we're guiding ourselves together since we're advancing together as a society. So it sounds weird to me that now Gilad's going to stand up and ask a question and I'll answer it because altogether we know how to answer the question Gilad's asking. Gilad himself knows how to answer the question. But there's something in us asking and Rav answering, even if it's the same question every day. It feels, you feel like the light's operating and we're advancing. It's weird for me to stand up and ask a question or answer an answer to a question that Gilad asked. I'm simply asking what's the right way to approach this because it's special, it's new, it's fascinating, we want!
M. Laitman: This path or this approach comes from the need to bring you closer to the discussion. To participation, to questions and answers together. This together should awaken in you what needs to be together. In other words, the center of the scrutiny between you. Everyone is drawn to it; everyone wants to be incorporated in it.
Student: I can share, let's say, we read every day the Rabash article together in the Ten, we prepare ourselves for the next day. So we read, we also do a certain prayer before the reading and then we share a little bit of impressions, what was innovated in me, what I didn't understand. Then really, in the intimacy of the Ten, there's like several years that we know one another. There is a little of what you're describing, a certain discussion, a scrutiny but that intimacy, it really enables it. Here, it's huge, there's a microphone you have to take and there's a camera and the word Kli and the presence of the Rav. It's kind of a little feels weird to do this discussion, especially with the presence of the Rav. Because nevertheless, you can feel that there's a, there's an answer that may be a little intellectual, the answer we're used to hearing but there's a spiritual power in the answer that you answer that's different.
M. Laitman: Okay. Well, we will try to come out from such scrutinies into more connected scrutinies. More group scrutinies.
Student: Let's talk about during the period of time that we had workshops, that you'd give us some kind of exercise and then explain a little bit of what you're expecting us to do. So maybe now when you give us this kind of moment to discuss, maybe guide us a little bit, how to improve in it maybe. Because we want to follow your guidance now that you're showing us. So give us a little bit like a little advice on how to do it.
M. Laitman: We need to portray for ourselves a society that includes individual Tens, and these individual Tens scrutinize inside of them what influences the connection between them or what disturbs the connection between them inside each and every Ten. And then, also what connects the Tens, because those are already different forces, not what exists only in the Ten. So how do we connect all of our Tens into one big Ten. And this big group, as we call it, a camp, and this is how we will advance, so, this is the first thing that we need to scrutinize. It should be clear to us: What is the goal, what are we drawn to and in what way do we reach it, using which forces. In which actions you have connection of men, connection of women, connection of families. That is how we'll advance, but that is what we are lacking, we are lacking, what we need is to renew and reinforce the connections between us.
Student: (01:45:20) In our Ten, we made a determination that there's a time during the day, the evening before the lesson, to discuss the lesson that was, if we have questions that were accumulated throughout the day. So we tried to scrutinize them and we still don't manage to really come to a certain discussion. Now according to what you said, the question is how do we come to such a discussion, and what we need to scrutinize between us to truly take this out, towards the broader connection in the Kli, with the women Kli, with the Tens? What needs to happen in this discussion between us is to go outwards.
M. Laitman: The discussion has to include the problem of connection between men between women and these two camps. How should they somehow be connected? I do not know; I do not know what else to add. I think we need to nevertheless look into Rabash's articles and see what he is doing there. Is he touching, has he touched it?
Student: How to not be afraid to confuse the friends in this discussion?
M. Laitman: I do not know what to tell you, you have to explore that. You have to explore that and discuss, and how do you add to that, benefit to that.
Student: So what does Rav expect of us? When he says right now, give an answer to a friend. What is Rav expecting from us at that moment? For us to truly answer or give an impression to the matter? Or in what intellectual direction do I go at that moment?
M. Laitman: I do not know; it depends on the problem we have here on the table.
Question Women PT27: (01:48:05) A woman who studies in devotion, could she come to complete correction if she has a husband who does not study?
M. Laitman: Yes.
Question Women German: (01:48:24) They're also asking: How does a woman whose husband does not study, how should she relate to him and to her spiritual path?
M. Laitman: We must disseminate or express or project love toward a partner.
Question PT 31: (01:48:49) How did Kabbalists relate to their wives, externally?
M. Laitman: That was during different times. It is hard for us to imagine this lifestyle back then. It is not an example for us.
Question Women PT 6: (01:49:09) If this is natural for a man and a woman to be together, so why aren't women obliged to get married? How will we create a strong group?
M. Laitman: This was truly in the ancient times that a woman was not obligated to do it. Sometimes they do not want it.
It is not like they do not want it; they want it. But we are at a time today of whether a woman wants to get married or not, because she has freedom, work, and a house, and she lacks nothing with which to fill her time. Also, the question of whether or not to be married is not a burning issue, like it was back in the days. So, we need to make sure we have a desire also to fill women and the field that we have what to give them. “The woman you acquire”, it says, it is written. That depends on the man.
Question, New York 2 (01:50:41): We hear that it's important for a man to get married, but nevertheless, it's very difficult for many friends to get married. I wanted to ask, is there a justified reason for a man not to get married?
M. Laitman: No, only his ego, and also for a woman. In our time, we are almost equal in this.
Question W. PT6 (01:51:11): Does it bother the group that there are women that are not married in the group?
M. Laitman: I cannot tell, I do not think so, I do not think, so that much.
Question W Turkey 8 (01:51:28): As women, how will we be able to study seriously like the men?
M. Laitman: How can we? Everything is open, I have nothing to say. We can really do everything.
Student: (01:52:02) The blessing of the Torah that we read in the article, it's connected to the matter of connection between us, where we come with a lack. That's the feeling, that the whole examination towards the Creator, that the friend asked at the beginning of the lesson, that He disappears. He gave us the work with the friends, so that we will work with the friends. Then, also the whole lesson was around listening to the friends, be in an effort to feel together the lesson. This connection, which is our central problem, and somewhat, men are a little bit more successful in this, in the lesson. The feeling is that for women, it's a little bit more difficult for them to connect.
M. Laitman: Yes.
Student: Is this central problem that's a problem of connection all around the world? Do we need to open this pipeline to the men so that they will take the lacks for connection and work with them, as well? It's like we're being told the connection you've attained is not yet being broadcasted outwards. Do you still have a need?
M. Laitman: I think that, yes.
Student: Is there a form, a way, to draw this lack outwards into our lesson? Into the morning lesson?
M. Laitman: Why from the outside?
Student: Or is it enough that we've connected and that it immediately impacts outwards?
M. Laitman: Yes any change in us influences the entire world. Okay, friends.
Student: (01:53:59) What needs to be the correct attitude towards our bachelors in the society, in order to kind of encourage them to take an action?
M. Laitman: Rabash could not stand bachelors, singles. He could not stand them. He would always tell us how Baal HaSulam would not let them attend lessons. He did not want to have any unmarried men in his lessons. For us, it is the reverse, people come married and then they get a divorce. I think we should not tolerate such actions. We need to obligate each and every one of our friends to be married, to have a job, and to care for his family. Without that he lacks a sufficient commitment in life. No questions on that, right?
Question Holland: (01:55:36) Where do you get the strength to be a good husband to your wife in a Kabbalah study?
M. Laitman: From the Creator.
Student: The role, let's say, compared to the Ten. Can the Ten give that support to your wife? Or does your wife give support to the Ten? How does that work?
M. Laitman: The Ten should support the man and to ask the Creator for the power to arrange everything in the family.
Student: The friend asked a very interesting question about this new approach which you are bringing to us at the moment. How can the world Kli be more included in the actual moment in the discussion and involved? It is very interesting! That we can truly add, let's say, add in the moment because the discussion is very actual.
M. Laitman: Yes, yes. We just have to care more about the common vessel. Because we expect that, there, the Creator will reveal Himself and His entire system will be revealed there, that is it. We need to be more aimed at the center of our vessel. From an individual vessel to a more general vessel, more and more general, that is it. That is where we will reveal this ladder. But at least, regarding the foundation of the ladder, the individual Ten of each and every friend has to be properly organized. Okay.
Student: (01:58:38) If I can continue this, I think that in the internal intention that we need to be in connection in our Ten and connect the whole Kli. But in our interaction, in the lesson, there's a certain perplexity here. We also talked about this in our Ten. What's the expectation of Rav where a person stands and you say, I want you to be partners, to be partners with me in the lesson.
M. Laitman: Yes?
Student: So a person stands up and throws out a question. Another one stands and says an impression. We see in the relation and the attitude that you have to it. Sometimes you don't have patience. We see about ourselves that sometimes someone asks, women ask, and it just gets them angry. So it's not clear, altogether, as far as the participant. And also from us who are listening, what attitude do we need to have here? Do we need to try and feel the common deficiency and ask actually only what will advance us? How do we need to work with, suddenly I have a question that we feel that's diverting us and it's really annoying.
M. Laitman: Of course I am interested in keeping the lesson as focused as possible, as connected, as directed toward our center. From our center to the center of creation, that is it. So we need to quickly locate those directions and make room for discussions about these things.
Question NY 2: (02:00:29) Going back to what you were saying earlier that the men need to demand this devotion from our women. We have wives on the path, our Ten, and not all of them are in the same Ten, the same women's Ten. Can we demand our wives to be in the same Ten, and would that help amplify this needed devotion?
M. Laitman: For the time being, we will not be able to live up to that. It is not that important. We share the same general goal, the same general power that covers us and pulls us forward. So, we should not be so meticulous about that. Because otherwise we will have to break down many Tens, and we are not going to get what we need from that.
Student: (02:01:39) Every day in the Ten, we do a prayer to the Creator to connect us. Does a prayer need to be also between a man and his wife, to the Creator, to connect us?
M. Laitman: Yes, you can read something together. A special verse, something that touches the heart, that is good.
Student: You said that here people come married and leave, and then become divorced. What is this? Is the Creator separating between men and women? Or is it the ego between us?
M. Laitman: In addition to the ego, it is also a different nature that men and women have. We have to overcome that and make out of each and every couple a single vessel.
Student: This is spiritual work?
M. Laitman: Spiritual, even if you are working on it corporeally, it is nevertheless spiritual work. That is the uniqueness of it.
Question Woman English 1: (02:03:03) I hear you talk a lot about couples, women who are studying and not married, and it pains me when I hear this, because we don't know how to pray for women who are not married, Rav. I'm in that category. I've been married for nineteen years in the past, and I want to be married again. But I don't want to make a mistake and I don't even know where to start. I'm pretty sure there are other women like me. Can you pray for us or can you give us some kind of direction?
M. Laitman: I need to think about it, I am not extremely versed in it and understand enough about it to answer you. But let's study this issue together from the wisdom of Kabbalah and the Torah, and we will come to the right solution.
Question Novosibirsk: (02:04:25) I wanted to say that from experience in the communities of unmarried men and women, the experience of the past pressures a person so greatly that he cannot relate with faith to the relations that should be. There's a certain burden, a certain transition, some insult that happened that really has an impact. Maybe we're missing the tools to advance. Maybe you can give us new tools to work with the experience of the past.
M. Laitman: First of all, Rabash was against a divorce. If there were kids involved, he did not even want to hear about it. You should suffer, tolerate it until the end of your life. But you should not even think in that direction of getting a divorce. That was his view, that is one thing. The other thing is that you must reach love for the woman because the Torah and the Creator obligate you this way, that is it. You must reach love and from disclosing love to her, she will disclose love toward you. The man is charged, it is incumbent upon him to start and do everything. I do not see any problem there for us men, we just need to learn how to do it. Accept it as a mitzvah, as a commandment. If he's getting a divorce, it is as it is written in the Torah, “the place of the connection between man and the Creator, cries over him, shedding tears over him”. In short, it is highly unrecommended. That is why in our time, it is one of the greatest social problems of our time. It is confusion in society that comes into all kinds of forms that make everyone suffer. We do not even know what it means to be in a society where there is a good connection between men and women. Well, we are all a result of the shattering of the vessel. Let us hope we start our correction in that.
M. Laitman: Are you asking on topic? Give him a mic.
Student: (02:08:39) Can I measure and then ask?
M. Laitman: Measure what?
Student: Can I thank you, first? Yes, thankful. I need to thank this society and the Creator that through this society, I received a woman that is so powerful. She watches me connected to this society with a strong deficiency and straight and pure, every day. I had to come to the lesson with a big desire and that comes straight from my wife. We want all our friends to find such a wife that we will all be able to be whole in our request towards the Creator, to bring His light to this world. Now, can I ask in English? When I arrived in 2016, or something like that. Around this time in 2017, I asked a question about the importance of marriage. You gave pretty much, you said, “by Shavuot, I want the single men to be, to find a woman. They should be engaged or married by that time”. There was a great result. Many friends found a strong woman, they have a wonderful connection to this day.
Healthy, thriving children that value connection above all else. Perhaps you could give a push like this towards the single men. Also the women will feel the importance of serving the men in the Kli with their desire.
M. Laitman: Look, I will tell you only one thing. I do not have the energy and I think the time of me pressuring the society is gone. You are capable of running this society, organizing it, uniting it and pulling it forward. So, of course, I seemingly let go of those things, and I am not applying pressure. I am not treating you like a kindergarten here. But you have to do it yourselves. I do not even know who's exactly, who's married, who's not married. How many kids each one has and so on and so forth. But you are a big society and you need to be a diverse society. Society has to care about its foundation and make it as suitable as possible to approach the Creator. Okay, so try to arrange it, to organize it, to guide it, and you have to do it every once in a while.
Student: Through which action is there the exchange of deficiency between a man and a woman? Like an active action that a man can receive the deficiency from a woman.
M. Laitman: By helping her out, you can receive the deficiency from her.
Student: That's my effort, and from the other side, is there a specific effort to give?
M. Laitman: As much as you want to help a woman, the more deficiency you get from her.
Student: (02:13:04) We're already on the topic, so it just seems to me this way. I want to know if it's correct: There are women that are doing work in the Tens and they're amazing Women Tens with great forces. It seems like the power there and the light does a different impact on men and women. Like the men in the Ten can come into some calm to enter a certain confidence. With the women in the work, it brings more excitement, more pain, the heart opens up! Something different happens there. Is that right, is that thing right, is that the right discernment?
M. Laitman: I do not know. Why are you even turning to me with such questions? Men, women, families, you need to scrutinize that with the Creator. Really, I do not know what to, I feel uncomfortable just listening to it. There are such Rabbis is who like these things, but I'm not a rabbi.
Student: I'll say why, because I think it's new in humanity altogether, the work of men in the Tens. It's new in our generation, maybe at one point in Moses' time, I don't know. Men are working in Tens, very intensive work, and also women are working in Tens, very intensive work. That is the structure of the society, today, and that's why I'm asking, if there's a difference that you discern or notice in the work of men and women, because they're all working on connection. They're all reading the same article; women are with us together. They're connected to the morning lessons, if not alive, then during the day they hear it, and it's all the same thing. Nevertheless, it seems like there's a difference in development, that the way the light operates on a man and woman is different. What's the difference between this and that?
M. Laitman: I do not know; I think that men are advancing faster than women. But women move deeper than men. So it turns out that a woman builds the vessel in depth and a man builds it in height. But I do not know exactly how to put it into words. No more questions, other than you.
Student: (02:16:16) I once heard from you that a man draws the reforming light, and a woman receives it through her husband, through a man.
M. Laitman: Yes.
Student: Is there a change in that?
M. Laitman: No, but those are technical things. Even if men do not enter into the same action together with a woman. In our time, it is a little more diverse. A question.
Student: (02:17:06) What's the advice that you could give to us in order to keep or reach a state of peace at home?
M. Laitman: Try to cancel yourself completely and make concessions to the woman. Try it like that. We will do what you want, that is it.
Student: Where do you get the forces to, it's one thing to give up yourself, but ego doesn't even play there, anymore. How to come to the fact that, from the understanding that it's one Kli? From the understanding of the importance of everything we talked about? How to come to being partners on this path? To not have disturbances that deviate us from the work with our woman, to a state of man and woman, between them.
M. Laitman: Rewarded, Zahu, comes from the word Zah, meaning refine, as little coarseness between them as possible.
I do not know, I think that you should take certain articles by Rabash, short ones, and very practical and read them together.
Student: What should we think about together when we're reading?
M. Laitman: How will we realize it?
Student: Between us?
M. Laitman: Yes. Besides that, just know, the more we lower our heads, yes? The more you gain out of it, the more you profit!
Student: (02:19:31) About the connection between Tens. For several years we’ve been learning about we will make a connection between us and the Ten. It depends on the deficiency of each friend and aiming it towards the benefit of others, and us all together. How to start putting such an action between Ten so that each Ten will do towards another Ten?
M. Laitman: Talk about it, talk about it and do it, it is possible.
Student: (02:20:23) You give us lessons on the internality of the Torah. You can see like today; a person has many other topics in life that he needs answers to. There are matters of families, other things. We have only one address, and that’s the Rav. Others have an expert for this, this Rav knows about families, the other one knows about other things, and they have many people that can help, it’s kind of like a big world you can approach. Each is an expert on his topic, and we can also expand things here. Here, all the problems we have in the work, in our jobs, in the family, we all come to the Rav with everything. Is there a solution that you think that we could come to? Maybe even an additional thing that we’re hearing lately that maybe we will have to learn more about them, how we should behave on the Sabbaths and other religious matters, and how we observe such a lifestyle, as well. There’s also questions about that. Who will teach us about that? Can Rav teach all those topics?
M. Laitman: Of course not!
Student: That’s the question: How can we when you are our only Rav? How to?
M. Laitman: I also do not think I am a Rav, a true Rabbi, who guides his students lives toward the purpose of creation. I am connected to you this way; I do not know how to arrange these things. Besides that, I do not know how long I am going to be alive! You need to learn how to direct yourselves, by yourselves, and bring yourselves toward correction, that is what I am saying! So let us relate to it seriously, in the middle line. You can ask, you can scrutinize it with me, between you, but ultimately, you need to learn how to behave in life.