https://kabbalahmedia.info/en/lessons/cu/26FfReXJ

The transcript has been transcribed and edited from English simultaneous interpretation, thus there may be potential semantic inaccuracies within it.

Daily Lesson (Afternoon) November 6, 2024

Part 1:  RABASH. Lesson on the topic of “The Conditions for Studying with the Friends”, Article No. 1, (1985),

Reader: Hello, we're in a lesson on the topic “The Conditions for Studying with the Friends”. We'll read selected excerpts from the sources. You can find study materials on our website, Sviva Tova, and in the Arvut system.

Excerpt # 2: "Make for Yourself a Rav and Buy Yourself a Friend – 1" 

Reading: (00:37) Whenever one must learn from another, meaning if he has high regard for the other, the other commits him to labor, and the body revokes the views and actions of the other. Because the body wants to rest, it is better for it and more convenient to rule out his friend’s views and actions so he will not have to make an effort. 

This is why it is called, “Make for yourself a rav.” It means that for the friend to be your rav, you have to make it. In other words, it is not by reason, since the reason asserts otherwise, and sometimes even shows him the opposite, that he can be the rav and the other his student. This is why it is called “Make,” meaning doing and not reasoning. 

M. Laitman: This means that we should not make some efforts, but accept the others in such a way that he can teach us, that we can learn from him. To the extent that we are able to annul ourselves, we can accept another as a rav, as a teacher, and in such a way, we will come to open our eyes in the Torah.

Question (Women MAK): (02:55) How through this principle of make for yourself a Rav, can you realize buy yourself a friend? 

M. Laitman: If I make the friend a Rav, by this I learn how to make every man that is bigger than me, and then we can advance in such a way, until we feel others bigger than me, and we bow our heads, in order to receive from them what they teach, and then we all come to a state when we all learn from the friend. This is the most correct state, when we all learn from everyone, when each one makes himself lower than the friend, and the friend higher than him, and then, in this case, we learn from everybody.

Student: The correct nullification towards the friends, in order to acquire that new thing, in order to build that vessel of bestowal, what is it in? Because to cancel oneself completely means I seemingly don't use my desire, I become a zero, and then there's no participation on my side. What's the correct form of nullification, so we build this common vessel to give to the Creator? 

M. Laitman: Correct self-annulment before the friends is when you consider them higher than yourself, and then you can learn from them what they say and take it as higher than you. This is how we can learn from the friends. This is why it is said, make yourself a rav, and in this way you'll advance, move forward. 

Question (Tbilisi): (05:53) We all understand that we have a big problem in nullifying ourselves to the friends. I, for example, when going through these lessons to see the friend as the rav, I take strength from my own rav, meaning you. You said that we need to do it such, and that really helps me. Is this correct? Since you are the bigger one, and I find strength in you to nullify before the friends, is it correct to find strength in you? 

M. Laitman: Yes, that's correct. 

Question (Women Turkiye 7): (06:50) I see my friend as a teacher, but if the friend is making a mistake, how will I recognize it? 

M. Laitman: I don't see it. I accept everything I hear from him as the truth. I connect to this, and I receive it, accepting it as truth.

Question (Women Hebrew 2): (07:26) I don't relate to the friends; I don't see greatness in them. But if I see a certain behavior in them that comes from the ego. How do I relate to it? Do I just ignore it? 

M. Laitman: Generally, yes. When you accept them as bigger than you, you have to accept what they say, how they act, that it's literally as your guide, your mentor.

Student: And if it's not just a disturbance that I see, but other friends see as well, this is also just my own disturbance? 

M. Laitman: I didn't understand, why is it a disturbance? 

Student: Let's say it's during a talk, and it's visible to everyone, it's just my own problem, or... 

M. Laitman: Maybe it's their problem, or a problem of connection between you, and you have to arrange it at a different time. But if you see them as greater than you, you have to bow your head before them. 

Question (Women Italy): (08:50): To learn from each other, you need to have a common basic desire. What do you think is important to learn? 

M. Laitman: There needs to be a general goal, when everyone wants to come to this, so that each one would see the friends bigger than her. 

Question (Women MAK): (09:47) We ourselves make the friends as great, and then we learn from them. What can we learn from the friends, if we ourselves make them great? 

M. Laitman: That they wanted to learn from him, when we made him big, that's what we can learn.

Student: It turns out he was already great, and we simply didn't see him as great, or he was always great. 

M. Laitman: He is the way you want to imagine him. 

Question (Women Moscow 5): (10:26) When the light shines in the friend, or in someone else, it illuminates that shortcoming that's in me, otherwise I won't be able to see it. What is my action? I simply ask the Creator to correct me, and that's the end of the action? Or do I need to do something else?

M. Laitman: If you see any negative quality in anyone, you have to ask the Creator to change you. Until you stop seeing this negative quality in the friend. 

Student: If I see my own negative qualities, I see within myself these negative qualities, what do I need to do? 

M. Laitman: Ask the Creator to correct you. 

Student: It's like this constant prayer, correct me, correct me, correct me.

M. Laitman: Of course. 

Question (Women Latin 13): (11:52) How do I direct all of the feelings that I receive when I connect with my friends in the Arvut system? 

M. Laitman: How to unite, how to connect, how they connect in me, how I have to live.

Maybe I show the Creator, the Higher One, the prayer, and I want to be in a certain form of connection with the friends, and I only want to see good in them. And I ask for Him to arrange this for me. 

Question (Women Petah Tikva 33): (12:51) From what I understood, Rabash understands that in order to make the friend a rav, we cannot do this in the intellect, because the intellect obligates us to do it otherwise. So, then he recommends us to do, to make. It means doing. You opened up the lesson saying that we don't need to make efforts, but we just need to accept one another. Where are these efforts, where are they made? 

M. Laitman: The effort is that I want to see all the friends bigger than me. 

Student: In what are they greater than me? 

M. Laitman: In understanding, in performing the commandments, in helping the friends, in everything. 

Student: We learned that we also need to be smaller than everyone. That's also a true saying in everything?

M. Laitman: Yes.

Question (Women Kavkaz 1): (14:10) Do I understand correctly that to the extent of my nullification, I not only can receive my friend's perception, but also my own change towards the friend opens up a lot more feelings. That is, nullification is needed more so for me than for her, and it doesn't even matter what she's saying, but the work itself is that work that develops the work of the Creator. 

M. Laitman: Yes.

Question (Women Kavkaz 1): (14:49) From our practical work, when your students give the lessons, they give questions to the hall, and the world clearly answers, as if there's no possibility to transition in this way quickly, to see every friend as if it's coming from Rav, or from the Creator. And there's just this feeling that gets formed, that there is something common, there's like this common point or a field towards which you nullify. Is that correct? 

Should we try to incorporate in the friends' questions and their answers? 

M. Laitman: I wouldn't emphasize this for myself, wouldn't focus on this, but I would just realize the advice, and then you'll see to what extent they help you.

Question (Turkiye 2): (16:18) Rav can hear all my feelings, he hears me, he feels me, I'm adhered to the rav, like a baby is adhered to its parents. How can I pass my feeling to the friends? 

M. Laitman: Thanks to adhering to them, you have to consider them, because they're your friends, and you're as if you're in one body. This is what you should depict for yourself.

Question (Women MAK 25): (17:13) When we're conducting workshops in the Ten, then we know each other, we feel each other, which friend has which qualities, and how she can add to the circle her qualities, and it's felt like this inner close work. How do we work when we hear the circles of the friends in Petah Tikva, for example, and their answers? 

M. Laitman: We also have to try to accept them as our inner qualities, and feel them in such a way, and then they will feel it in you. 

Student: We as if incorporate in their circle of work, and with our own as well? 

M. Laitman: Yes.

Question (Kyiv): (18:09) What does it mean to accept the friend as your own inner quality? 

M. Laitman: The friend speaks what he feels. I have to accept it as something that comes from me. 

Student: I'm with a friend, let's say, a Ten in at a workshop, and in the discussion he's saying something, and I try to feel what's happening with him. How do I accept it as my own and adhere to it? 

M. Laitman: As closely as possible, as if it's happening in you. 

Student: And so that's relative to each friend in the Ten to do so? Or to everyone altogether? 

M. Laitman: Yes, each one and altogether, because the Ten is your soul. 

Student: But just for now, I feel it as something outside of myself, but when I start to feel it within myself, what will happen? Is that the connection with the Creator? 

M. Laitman: Through that, you'll have connection with the Creator.

Student: Where's the Creator here in his desires? 

M. Laitman: He'll be revealed in this connection. 

Student: He'll be revealed in this connection as what? 

M. Laitman: As the one that's creating and filling up this connection. 

Question (MAK 39): (20:09) All of the knowledge that we have, we get it from the sources, from workshops. What can we add in order to raise the friends at the same time? Not to lower, but to support, because basically we know everything that's being taught to us. 

M. Laitman: Maybe there's nothing to add, there's nothing to remove, nothing to take away. But if we make an effort to do it together, then we end up with one single… And by getting closer to one another, we get closer to the Creator, and we'll know what He wants from our Ten. 

Question (Women Spain): (21:25) Is this a positive dependence? It's a field of friends,

emotionally and in a spiritual way? 

M. Laitman: Yes, of course. We want to feel the friends as parts of my soul. 

Student: Do the spiritual and emotional aspects connect? 

M. Laitman: Yes, exactly.

Question (Women Hebrew 2): (22:12) I'm very moved because I need to talk about something that's difficult. Not so difficult, but it's interesting. I see the Ten as my house, and because of that, I feel quite comfortable and free. And with my dear Ten, this happened to me that once they found me, and after a few days, they left me. They left me, but I never left them. And I truly see them as great friends.

But the connection between us, I feel like it's in a house, like in a family where the family members can talk about things, but it doesn't mean that they open the door and they leave. They make a scrutiny out of it, even when I say that I am the smallest. But in truth, I am the smallest. Maybe it's not quite heard. What to do in this state? I'm ready to hear them, but I really want from my Ten to be here now. I have tons of questions. I really want it, and I asked the Creator for it, and I hope that it will happen. 

M. Laitman: Okay, I understood you. What I recommend is to annul oneself before the friends as much as possible, and to ask the Creator to help us be in unity. To annul ourselves before the friends, and secondly, to ask the Creator to unite us. 

Question (Kavkaz): (24:51) When we're working in the group, we develop one set of qualities to add and to unite with others, to see their qualities and not their shortcomings. But what qualities does the friend that is teaching now need? 

M. Laitman: The same ones, the same qualities as us.

Student: Who is he connecting with? It's the opposite, it seems like he needs to be greater. 

M. Laitman: With us, no? He unites with us. 

Student: It's not clear here. How is he uniting? It seems like it's different work. 

M. Laitman: No, you do what you need, and everything will be arranged. 

Student: There are no special qualities that a person that's teaching needs to develop? Like you as Rav? Which qualities? 

M. Laitman: None.

Question (Women MAK 104): (26:10) In the group we're learning unity. We hear and we see the friends. How do we develop our spiritual part in the group in order to reach spiritual sensations?

M. Laitman: You have to do what we learn. Take all of our articles that we learned in the last half a year, let's say, and write down what we learned, and this is what we have to do.

Question (Women Turkiye 7): (26:57) When the friend speaks nicely and from the heart, I expect her to see her realizing her words in practice. And if I don't see that, then it's difficult to take the friend seriously. So, nonetheless, do I accept the friend as my teacher, even in that state?

M. Laitman: Above reason. Even if I don't see that a friend makes efforts to be in bestowal, in elevation above himself, in any case, I raise him and I want to unite with him, connect with him, on the level I raise him to. 

Student: When another student asked a question, she said that when I see a fault in my friend, and we heard that you said, don't see the faults, whatever the friend does, that friend is doing the right thing. When I see a friend's fault, is the reason why I see that fault because I have to correct something in me? Is that the reason why I'm looking at the fault as a fault? 

M. Laitman: Usually it’s like this. Usually what I see is the world through my ego, and this is how I see the world. 

Question (Turkiye 2): (30:19) How can we be in devotion to the friends, to the rav, to the Creator without taking into account all of the corporeal conditions, the material conditions. 

M. Laitman: To try to see the friends, to relate to the friends in a direct, open, simple way from heart to heart, and then gradually we'll come to a state when we can truly connect with them in one heart. 

Question (Women Italy): (31:14) The mutual cancellation brings to light only the heart.

Does this serve to perceive that it is the Creator who unites us with his strength, not our strength? 

M. Laitman: Yes, but soon we'll begin to feel spiritual attainment in our connection. 

Student: We anul to feel more of the Creator?

M. Laitman: Yes, specifically through the nullification in the heart. 

Question: (Women Moscow 5): (32:33) Through the Ten, does the Creator teach us to control our feelings? 

M. Laitman: Yes.

Student: Do we take these feelings, sensations from him? Where do we get the strength to control? 

M. Laitman: Those feelings are in us from the beginning. He created them. 

Student: So, a person can form himself by asking the Creator and then you feel how you change from day to day.

M. Laitman: It could be. 

Question (Women Latin 13): (33:30) In my Ten, I'm considered as bad. We have special relationships with the friends and as time passes, I try to establish a connection with them. I received quite a few threats that they will tell on me to the group social team that I’m doing something wrong. If so, can I change the Ten? 

M. Laitman: No, you must correct your relations between you and the friends.

Question (Women Haifa 4): (34:36) No matter who teaches, what I receive depends on me, how I accept the friend. And if so, then any friend can be a teacher? 

M. Laitman: Yes. 

Question (Women MAK): (35:05) Can I unite only with the friends that I elevated, and then it's correct?

M. Laitman: No, you can connect with everyone. Whoever you decide, with them, you can connect. 

Question (Women Spain): (35:36) Well, I would like to say that I am grateful to the Ten.  Where is the spiritual path connected to thanking the friend for their support? 

M. Laitman: To answer them in the same attitude that you feel from them. 

Question (Mak 11): (36:14) If a friend leaves the Ten, at the same time he studies Kabbalah, he follows Baal HaSulam, Rabash, the rav, but he doesn't want to be in the Ten, what should the Ten do? 

M. Laitman: Nothing. A Ten needs to check if it relates to him negatively, and if it doesn't reveal any negative relations, then not to do anything, just to remain as it is. And the fact that he wants to exit the Ten, that's his decision. 

Question (Women English 1): (37:03) When I honored my friends, I began to feel as though their desires are building in me, as mine. And the texture of the lesson changes as though I'm listening to the morning lesson through another world completely. It doesn't feel like the same morning lesson that I listen to in Arvut without my Ten. And it feels so different. What has my Ten become when that begins to happen in our Ten? 

M. Laitman: I don't know. We need to check. Could be that truly, when you connect to the Ten, you already receive that same material from the Creator in a different way. Nice. 

Question (Women MAK 113): (38:37) So, to not be a traitor, we have to be devoted to the Ten and manifest our best qualities and believe that the Creator will always help. This is what we are uniting for?

M. Laitman: Yes. 

Question (English 1): (39:06) What does it mean that if he has high regard for the other, the other commits him to labor? This seems like a good thing. We're all looking for places where we can labor. But is there labor that the ego is hiding from us here? 

Moderator: The question is connected to the second quotation. To the extent that he appreciates the other, the other compels him to make effort, and he neglects the thought and opinion of the friend, and that's why the body wants a different thing. That's why it's easier to neglect the friend's actions, so he doesn't have to make an effort. 

Student: So, what does it mean that if he has a high regard for the other, the other commits him to labor, as it says in the text. This seems like a good thing. We're all looking for places where we can labor, but is there labor that the ego is hiding from us here? Is there an effort when the ego conceals from us? 

M. Laitman: I don't understand.

Student: It is written, to the extent that you value the other, the other one makes you make an effort. Does the ego conceal this effort from us? 

M. Laitman: In general, no. 

Question (Women Ukraine 2): (41:17) When I see the friend is great, I see that the way he lives, the way he thinks, the way he speaks are correct things are correct things. Is that right? 

M. Laitman: Well, not necessarily everything, but in general, that's correct. 

Student: What I'm really asking is that I have a problem. I have a savior syndrome, that a friend is suffering, and I want to help. Maybe it's not always correct, and maybe it actually harms him. How do I defeat this savior syndrome in me? 

M. Laitman: Usually, that's your ego, you need to hold yourself back. 

Student: So, just accept his life, his decisions as coming from the Creator, and this is his path, and this is what he has to walk by. 

M. Laitman: Yes.

Student: How do I, a future Kabbalist, help this friend, and in what way come to the Creator? 

M. Laitman: First of all, not a future one, but to depict yourself now as a Kabbalist, and how you can help is that you connect with him more and help him. 

Question (Women Brasil): (43:31) If we have a rejection towards the qualities of a friend, does this mean that we don't have any means to acquire her qualities?

M. Laitman: Yes, it could be. In general, that's how it is.

Question (Women KabU 13): (43:57) So, I have noticed that lately when I watch the lessons and listening to the questions of my fellow students, because I feel like they're so important and they bring so much. The way that the teachers answer and take their time to literally feel into not just the words, but what the person is and brings and needs. It is one of the most beautiful things I participate to see the interactions between the teachers and to listen and see, and I'm wondering. I see that I lack that, and I've been praying to be able to be shown how to achieve it. Is it something more besides prayer that I can do and work on to get closer to getting that quality?

M. Laitman: No. Just to ask for you to have more patience. 

Question (Women MAK 62): (45:25) We had a workshop yesterday, and usually before the workshop, we build an intention, why we've gathered, and each one speaks. Generally, we feel that what we lack is so that the group is in more connection in the lessons, because only all these acts bring us to revelation of the Creator. 

But what surprised us is one answer of a friend about why she doesn't go to lessons. She expressed some hatred, some spirit of antisemitism, not hiding her hatred. We wanted to ask, what can we learn from each other in this moment, and is this permissible to speak such things in the workshop when we study articles? 

M. Laitman: There is no hatred that has the right to appear between us, especially in the lessons. 

M. Laitman: What do we do with the friend? 

M. Laitman: If that's her approach, she doesn't need to be in the group. You won't learn anything good from her. 

Question (Women Spain): (47:31) If we know that it's not obligatory for women to be in the early morning classes, but when we want to organize or launch an idea in the evening, we realize the lack of information of some colleagues in giving answers or proposals that have nothing to do with the work.The question is can we organize some kind of discussion in the Ten to treat the work seriously? We see that there are friends that are not constantly in the lesson. They don't speak to the point. How do we deal with the lack of connection and necessity that we don't feel from them towards the Ten? Highlighted part of question not translated, but is typed here.

M. Laitman: We simply tell them that we cannot be in connection with them because they are not constantly in the lessons, which is why they're speaking not to the point, and we cannot understand them. Explain this to them. 

Question (Women French): (48:42) When a friend shares a difficulty in the Ten, especially if she feels that the Ten is doing something wrong, what kind of help can we give to the friend? 

M. Laitman: You can connect to her and gently explain to her that we think differently from her, and why. Then to see her response. 

Question (Women MAK): (49:36) Are our sensations a sign that we are attracting light onto the Ten? Or even without these feelings, is it important to continue these actions that we  regularly perform on a daily basis in unity and intention? 

M. Laitman: Yes, the main thing is persistence. 

Question (Women Kavkaz 1): (50:22) It is written that the more the calf wants to eat, the cow wants to feed. I am in such a state when I stop my power to determine what the friend should do, what she should think, should say, and I end up in a state where I want to give more, which she can't receive, and I stop myself. This becomes a place of address to the Creator, but the question is how to repeat this to go into deeper importance. I shouldn't make her a rav, I should also make her a friend, and so on.

M. Laitman: Continue your efforts, and as a result you will feel at the right point of those relations between you and others. 

Question (Women English 1): (51:40) When we annul, and all the desires of the friends are now connected as one, is this our soul? 

M. Laitman: Yes.

Student: Another question. When you begin to kind of… It's like you can see it, and you can feel it, is the rav the pipe, like the spiritual pipeline between us and the upper world? 

M. Laitman: Yes, I'm ready to be that pipe for you.

Question (Women Turkiye 7): (53:06) Each of the friends that I hear in the ten, she’s right. I can’t say that she’s mistaken, but there are different opinions, so I don’t know what to do. How do I relate to it correctly? What's the right approach? 

M. Laitman: Continue as you are now. Relate to everyone, continue, and ultimately, soon, it will get clarified for you into a clear image.

Student: There are great women in the group, and I feel very small in relation to them. I can't take a step without them, but I'd like to help in some way, make an action, respond, be useful. What do I do? 

M. Laitman: Continue. You can be greater, higher, more beautiful than everyone. 

Question (Tbililsi): (54:24) Because I want to please you, I annul before the friends as in the first question. You know what I discovered? That the end result is important for me. So, what's important for me is to give this, because I have a huge greatness of the rav, of the Creator, and the other side is not important, but the result of my action is important. Is this facing bestowal when you want to please the one you feel is important? 

M. Laitman: Yes. 

Student: So, there's balance you break towards bestowal, and that's how you give.

M. Laitman: Yes, think that way and hold on. 

Question (Women MAK 56): (55:54) Why do I see everyone in the Ten as great, even if I see some deficiencies, I can cancel myself quickly and go to correction. In the corporeal world, it's very hard. The ego takes control, and I don't feel that there's anything wrong with me. 

M. Laitman: Because in the spiritual side, you have our support. 

Student: And what to do with the corporeal world? We can't.

M. Laitman: In the corporeal world, you need to work. 

Student: So, it's practice, right?

M. Laitman: Yes. 

Question (Petah Tikva 29): (56:49) I am responsible for the schedule of teachers that hold the lesson when you're not around. On the one hand, it's a study between the friends. We're not teachers for the friends. We're not in a campus. We're not at school. So, it's study with the friends on the one hand. On the other hand, they are teachers. So, there is a contradiction. Could you help clarify our attitude to such a state?

M. Laitman: It's already not a new question from students, from teacher, teacher, friend. There's a lot of such talk about it and excerpts. I don't see any problem with it. Simply to continue, and you'll understand the answers out of what happens to them. 

Student: When a friend goes up and is holding a lesson, what kind of attitude should he have to himself, to the friends? 

M. Laitman: That now, for these few minutes, he's a teacher.

Student: How can he be a teacher, a friend? 

M. Laitman: Now, he's the teacher. After this, he's the friend. 

Question (Women Moscow 6): (58:44) How do we correctly turn the friends that are teaching to see them as a rav, so they become a channel between the Creator and us? 

M. Laitman: You need to respect all of your friends. As if for you, they are higher than you.

Nothing bad will happen if you hear them as your teachers.

Question (Women Moscow 9): (59:32) When we study the sources, there's no problem for us to consider our friend as great. But when it comes to questions, there is some battle begins. We can't make a decision about how to make decisions in the Ten. Maybe you could recommend what to strive for? 

M. Laitman: Make decisions in the Ten only out of how you're learning from who your teacher is, what he's telling you, and what you understand from him. 

I need to leave, and I hope until tomorrow. 

Announcements: (01:00:18)

Song: (01:00:52)