Love without any conditions destroys a child. The child comes to feel that the world will give him or her everything without having to do anything in return. Instead, a child should come to know that an appropriate response is expected from them: a thank you, a kiss, or an effort to help out. A child needs to be willing to take part in the family. A common mistake is to do for our children what they could be doing for themselves. We should compliment children for their efforts rather than for their natural talents or qualities. We should teach children to acknowledge what has been given to them by contributing in turn to others’ benefit. Constructive love draws an appropriate response from the child, while destructive love doesn’t take the child’s actions into account. The goal is to educate children so that they know how to receive and how to give in a balanced manner.

The education system needs to teach children how to behave in relationships. Children who grow up in families with violent communication will likely feel insecure and want to escape. They should withdraw from their violent family environments in order to succeed in building new, corrected patterns. They need positive examples to learn from. The first principle we should teach is the principle of equality. If someone relates to us with verbal violence, we reflect the same back to them, like a mirror image, so they will feel their need for correction. Behind the principle of equality, there is a desire to be built by each other, to build the right patterns for ourselves.

Children need to be encouraged to not harm anyone and that, if we preserve our environment and the integrality of nature, we will gain from it. We need to tell children the extent to which we are infinitely connected to nature and emphasize the unity between the forces of nature. We educate them by giving examples and then explaining. We should first ruin as little as possible and then see how we can better our environment. We avoid doing unnecessary things and, by the mere fact that we don’t destroy anything, we already start building. Examining and determining my attitude to everything that happens in advance, from every angle, before we act, is what we need to learn from life.

In a corrected life, we scrutinize the conflicts between us with the intention of reaching love and peace above them. In order to quarrel correctly, we need to learn the method of relationships that is explained in the wisdom of Kabbalah. Men and women are innately different. Quarrels should be regarded as the necessary revelation of each one’s nature in contrast and opposition to the nature of another. The natural gap between them can be bridged when we openly express our preferences, respect each other’s views, set a good examples for one another, and establish mutual understanding.

In an emotionally balanced family, the members of the family know how to get along with each other and how to help each other. The emotional balance of each individual in a family depends on the family as a whole. Children who grow up in a connected environment know how to relate to others correctly, are comfortable to live with, and don’t invade anyone’s space. A child can cause a family to lose its balance and upset the general atmosphere. Parents should show that they are not impressed by a child’s extreme behavior. They should set an example by the kind of attitude that they show to others and by keeping their own emotional balance. The parents’ goal is to show that there is a limit to any emotion or relationship.

Connections in the family are fading away because the ego continually grows and doesn’t want to be dependent on anyone. This is a natural process. People no longer feel obligated to their siblings or parents. We can still learn how to develop a warm human connection in the family if we teach our kids about the ego and how to work with rejections and envy correctly. We need to show everyone what they will gain from being connected to others by doing exercises like, for example, helping a different sibling each day in every matter that comes up. We can learn positive competition by comparing who can ascend higher above their own egoism in order to get closer to the other family members and awaken love in them. Family should provide a sense of support, communication, commitment, and being closer on a new level when we rise above the ego together.

I need to constantly imagine what my child lacks and how I should relate to him with respect to that lack. We should parent using three approaches: as a grownup who dictates, as an equal, and as smaller by learning from the child and modeling that it is okay not to know things. A successful child is a balanced child who does not burst out for better or for worse, a child who understands where he is and behaves maturely. I should let the child feel that I am always on his side and whatever I do is for his sake; when I have to force him to do something, it distresses me. It is a good idea to share my internal world with a child while not pressuring him and giving him space to grow independently. To sum up, do everything together with the child so that he will understand that cooperation is the key to success in life.

The family is the nest in which a person grows. People who grow up without family support encounter problems throughout their lives. They lack the power that family provides. Modern civilization destroys our connection with family. It is impossible to solve family problems unless we teach people how to reach connection and love between them by overcoming the human ego. All the connections between family members will fall apart until we discover that we need a new quality of connection in general.