Today, as never before in history, we experience internal pressure to fulfill our growing desires. We are never content, always trying to outdo others, which leads to great stress and dissatisfaction. Although we have unprecedented abundance, the experience of satisfaction disappears as soon as our desires are met and only emptiness remains. According to the wisdom of Kabbalah we can find fulfillment only if we connect to each other and nourish each other. We need to learn together how to receive pleasure through fulfilling the desires of others, to connect to others so that the more we give the more we are filled. If we can think about others and not about ourselves, we will feel emotionally balanced, tranquil, and internally elated.

The education system needs to teach children how to behave in relationships. Children who grow up in families with violent communication will likely feel insecure and want to escape. They should withdraw from their violent family environments in order to succeed in building new, corrected patterns. They need positive examples to learn from. The first principle we should teach is the principle of equality. If someone relates to us with verbal violence, we reflect the same back to them, like a mirror image, so they will feel their need for correction. Behind the principle of equality, there is a desire to be built by each other, to build the right patterns for ourselves.

Children need to be encouraged to not harm anyone and that, if we preserve our environment and the integrality of nature, we will gain from it. We need to tell children the extent to which we are infinitely connected to nature and emphasize the unity between the forces of nature. We educate them by giving examples and then explaining. We should first ruin as little as possible and then see how we can better our environment. We avoid doing unnecessary things and, by the mere fact that we don’t destroy anything, we already start building. Examining and determining my attitude to everything that happens in advance, from every angle, before we act, is what we need to learn from life.

In a corrected life, we scrutinize the conflicts between us with the intention of reaching love and peace above them. In order to quarrel correctly, we need to learn the method of relationships that is explained in the wisdom of Kabbalah. Men and women are innately different. Quarrels should be regarded as the necessary revelation of each one’s nature in contrast and opposition to the nature of another. The natural gap between them can be bridged when we openly express our preferences, respect each other’s views, set a good examples for one another, and establish mutual understanding.

In an emotionally balanced family, the members of the family know how to get along with each other and how to help each other. The emotional balance of each individual in a family depends on the family as a whole. Children who grow up in a connected environment know how to relate to others correctly, are comfortable to live with, and don’t invade anyone’s space. A child can cause a family to lose its balance and upset the general atmosphere. Parents should show that they are not impressed by a child’s extreme behavior. They should set an example by the kind of attitude that they show to others and by keeping their own emotional balance. The parents’ goal is to show that there is a limit to any emotion or relationship.

I need to constantly imagine what my child lacks and how I should relate to him with respect to that lack. We should parent using three approaches: as a grownup who dictates, as an equal, and as smaller by learning from the child and modeling that it is okay not to know things. A successful child is a balanced child who does not burst out for better or for worse, a child who understands where he is and behaves maturely. I should let the child feel that I am always on his side and whatever I do is for his sake; when I have to force him to do something, it distresses me. It is a good idea to share my internal world with a child while not pressuring him and giving him space to grow independently. To sum up, do everything together with the child so that he will understand that cooperation is the key to success in life.

A woman is usually more warm and emotional and a man is more practical. A woman is made of different forms: she is 25% mother, 25% little girl, 25% woman and 25% man. A man does not give birth and so he doesn’t change. He is a reserved, limited creature. Complementation is built on the feeling that each side wants to connect with the other because they see a real gain in life as a result of the connection. A couple should get used to speaking about everything and expressing what they feel with words. We need to learn to connect to each other carefully and gently, to gradually open our hearts and develop love between us until we finally merge correctly as two opposites and feel as one body.

The family is the nest in which a person grows. People who grow up without family support encounter problems throughout their lives. They lack the power that family provides. Modern civilization destroys our connection with family. It is impossible to solve family problems unless we teach people how to reach connection and love between them by overcoming the human ego. All the connections between family members will fall apart until we discover that we need a new quality of connection in general.

When we enter a new environment we are not aware of the degree to which it influences, changes, and shapes us. The influence of the environment on us is like the influence of the womb on a baby. The family environment should be protected by softening one’s heart before entering the home and by playing creative games together in order to feel the family connection. A protective family bubble should be built around it so that a foreign spirit cannot break it apart. A family should speak about what is external to it, what is internal to it, and how to guard it from any harmful or hostile external influences.

First and foremost, we all need to agree on our ultimate goal and that it should be important for us, even if we don’t like discussions. We need to ask ourselves what we are willing to concede and sacrifice in order to achieve the most important, common goal. Each one should integrate in the expectations and heart of the others, the warmth, security, and hope. We come with an attitude of “each man shall help his friend” and mutual inspiration. The more we develop, the more the ego grows, and the more unbearable our discussions will become. We need to determine that connection with others opens up a perfect future for everyone and it is therefore our sublime, ultimate goal.

In order to conduct a dialogue that brings people together, the two sides should know what each one wants. The first phase of a dialogue that brings people together is to get closer to each other and not to think that the other intends to gain from one’s destruction. The dialogue should be open and warm and there should be a feeling that we can fulfill each other and build a mutual connection. According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, we can learn to build a bridge between our desires, thoughts, habits, and attributes, a bridge above all the forms of the ego that differentiate us. After the stage of getting closer, then comes the main part of the dialogue which is to understand the conditions of attaining the goal. The third phase is to understand that we have gotten closer as a result of our dialogue and that both sides are satisfied. A dialogue that brings people together calms us and also gives us a positive impression of the whole process.

Communication should be based on the desire to complement, accept, and connect to each other rather than gain from others with the attitude of thieves. We should make room for one another within our own ego. This requires that the other person is more important to me than myself in the same way that our children are. If we try to make room inside for another person, we will discover that it is impossible and that we hit a wall. The wall only falls when we want to annul the distance between us and exist for the sake of the other’s soul. Connective communication is the art of filling others with what they need.