eng_t_rav_2012-12-26_program_haim-hadashim_n120

A Talk with Rav

A New life

Talks on he New World of Work

Talk 120

Talk December 26, 2012

Oren: Hello. Thank you for joining us. Welcome to New Life series. Hello Dr. Laitman. Hello everyone. Hello Nitzah Mazoz. Our subject in this current series is the New World of Business, the places where we work, organizations where we work, relations we have within these organizations, the feelings we have, the pleasures, the difficulties, our thoughts, and this entire world that we experience as adults, day by day. And here we try to learn from Dr. Laitman, who teaches us the integral approach to life and how it is possible to transform our days, the most of which we spend in the organization where we work, so that we are in to something better We are learning from him how to live a new life, how to develop new connections between us and through them, raise our entire existence to a new floor, a new level. I am sure you will be able to obtainmany insights from these conversations, and that you will be able to implement right here in your new life, and be able to taste new life. Nitzah, how are we starting this conversation?

Nitzah: We are going to try to enter in a natural way, similar to what usually happens in an organization, but we can open it a bit more. The first obstacle we have to go through is really the initial explanation to the CEO and executives. They will really need to understand from the first moment, and through the explanation, that they will go through something very unique and different. Like we said, the consulting area to organizations is so full of people; there was an article in the paper, here is another workshop, here is something that we want to show you. How can we really show how unique we are and to differentiate ourselves so people will understand it and convince, almost immediately, the CEO and the executive team, that there is something special here?

I do not know. My answer is I do not know, because I do not know what is going on there. But you know what's happening there, let's say with all their competitors and how to show how we are different. I do not know. You’re saying that throughout the process, if you ask me, you have this, they have that, then I will say what we have here. We do not research the organization, what it is doing, that is already different. We do not want to discover the relations between them; we completely ignore what is happening. We are only working on the positive, and only to raise the entire organization to a new level of relations.

We are talking about the ego, how we can manage it in a correct manner, in a balanced manner. We are not destroying, we are not bending, but we are really giving a person tools for the correct way to use the ego. We are only working in one direction; that the entire organization will be like a family, and that there will be a feeling like that. And through this feeling, that they will get rid of all the problems they have between people there and also in their homes. This is because they will not just receive a good mood from us; they will get a new approach to life. So in each place they may be, the bank, the supermarket, the home, or wherever they are with people, with their relatives, with their friends, they go watch football or whatever, in each place they will behave differently.

So, here we are talking about changing a person's relationship to life. And from this general situation, we are confident that he will be more effective in the organization. And of course, savings in time and materials, since at the end of the day, it comes down to money. This will influence days missed and his whole relation to what he is doing at his work place. We are only working towards that; that these changes are not made by bending him, by breaking him, but rather through the good environment. By being in a good mood, he will change to be more balanced, and in this way, he will be a positive element, and each worker will be a positive element within the whole office. That is what we can say.

Our acts do not demand any investment, apart from some fee that we charge and they are relatively symbol fee. We just need to distribute some books and notebooks, nothing more. And, we need a place to work, a conference room or something. And that's it, nothing else. It would be good if it was two or three times a week, an hour and a half each time.

Afterwards, in accordance with what we go through, we’ll see what other changes can happen. But the changes are simple; to make an inner sound system so people can hear music and good news, good messages, announcements and that's it. Maybe afterwards, one needs to have something like symbolic birthday parties for people in the organization, that's it. For sure, after a number of workshops and these activities, you will feel a change in them. In a month or two you will be able to even check by the numbers, how much the organization is saving and how much more effective everyone is.

Nitzah: The influence is so instantaneously that can be felt immediately?

It should happen quite quickly.

Nitzah: How will it look on the outside? There is the bottom line, but beyond that in a month or two, we’ll be able to see a real change?

I do not know. It depends on the organization, how they can check these things. But they’ll destroy less, they’ll use less, all kinds of things. They’ll only use what's necessary, just like they do at home. They’ll save electricity, they’ll save time and everyone will be closer to each other. Their decision making will be quicker, everything will be decided, at least without stress and without dragging it on and on. No one is stealing with their pride being otherwise, and it all comes down to saving a lot.

Nitzah: Now, the management standard that we have used up to now; the means were to divide, separate and conquer. You are talking about an approach that is the exact opposite. What does it do for me as the manager?

Wait. You want a profit, right?

Nitzah: I want.

So what's the problem? That you will not be able to pressure them with force?

Nitzah: That's the manner I managed things till now.

So, now you will not need to do that. Say your kids are now learning at school without your screaming at them, and even better than before with the screaming. Aren't you happy?

Nitzah: Yes, but the question is, what am I going to get in this process, tools as the manager.

Yes, because you are always controlling us and we are controlling the organization. They will need it for their entire life. You’ll need to hold on here, you’ll need to hold onto us, you’ll need to hire us throughout the years, if possible, but for five hours a week.

Nitzah: So, I am trying to understand this. There is a process that whole organization will go through, me as the manager, as well? But, there will also be special management tools for the executive team?

Management at work? Yes, that remains, but relationships will be so good, that you won’t need to turn things around twenty times to get a result. The relationships at work? We are not getting into that, we are just making each employee a good, dedicated employee. That's it.

Nitzah: I know from the executive team, it's the team where there are toughest nuts to crack. There are lots of conflicts, as you said before. That's the place that we need to get past. How do we get a process through in a team that is so...

We do not even pay attention to them. For me they’re just managers or a group of drivers that are working , they hand things out. They’re the same thing to me. For me they all are little kids and we should teach them as usual, just as everyone else. I do not have any special way to relate to them. They just have bigger, more developed egos. So in accordance to that they need to invest more.

Nitzah: Why should I want to invest it at all?

It is my games. Now I am putting them in a circle and telling them to hold hands and jump 10 times. You are the big manager and you are the vice president, etc. Jump 10 times.

Nitzah: This is the whole process?

Bringing people into the process, of course, I am joking. But at the end of the day, yes. They have to... Gradually they will be ready do that as well.

Nitzah: Many times today in organizations to get some things significant going, we know that for it to be successful, we need the support of the executive team. If the executive team is not supporting it and is not a part of the process, of course, it will not happen. The question truly is how do we get these people on board?

I do not think that we need to work on them. They are interested in us doing this to their organization under the hat of the executive team. So we leave them, we start working with the part that is to be worked on, not the part which is the controlling part. We do not care, in the meantime. They are sitting up there; let them sit up there in their Olympus. We are dealing with all the people working under them, all kinds of teams, parts there and not offices, what is called departments, etc. We are working with them. They just need to agree, and according to the results, understand what we are doing. Now passing it on to them in the way that they understand will take time. We need to give them material that we have from other situations so they can see where we were, what we did or we can give them a demonstration.

Nitzah: You mentioned before...

We need to do a presentation. We need to bring them some kind of slides or presentation where we talk about how we do it. Show them workshops and how things are organised.

Nitzah: You mentioned before that the changes will happen quickly and can be measured in two or three months.

Because we are talking about changes inside people. They are quite instantaneous.

Nitzah: So the big change will be how we feel more pleasant, there will be general concern and that will have its results?

How can they measure it in money? How can they measure in general? They need to know. They need to know how great the need is for materials today. There are materials and time, which is actually everything. There are many materials that we use and there is much time that out of this material, we get some result. So they need to see how much they are saving in that in hours of work and materials for that, if there are any. They need to see that. Also every head of every team has to emphasise it later, how much it is easier for him and more convenient and faster for him to do everything. That before it is used to take this much time and today its goes faster, three times faster.

Nitzah: There is a subject that came up that one of the participants asked on our team. She said many times in organizations, even if there's none is against it they are like ashamed or they draw inward, or they do not really want to participate, they do not want to go along with that. They are really ashamed. They do not feel comfortable sharing and talking. How do we get them on board in a gentle way?

Oren: Maybe I will ask in her words. That will help. She said, “The exercises that you described are very clear. The question is to the people working in a company, maybe they‘re ashamed of one another, their relationships are not so great. How are they open? Won't they be embarrassed to open up to one another? I am personally always afraid of working in groups, in workshops. It is not very pleasant for me.”

You get to it gradually. Gradually. First of all, it depends on how you speak with them. If you get them into a conversation to things that are general for everyone through psychology, through physiology, through something that has to do with medicine, as if it is our bodies, it is not us, it is natural for everyone. Then it's already easier for you to head towards, “Ok, now let's sit and close our eyes for half a minute, then everyone is ready to do that, because you have prepared them by explaining that we’re all human, and that we’re all operated on like this and this. No one has to tell what they are thinking, but, let's check. That's it.

You start from afar and from things that are natural. This psychological step is very simple. You have to bring them to a feeling that we are all human, that everyone has the same problem, that we want to rise above this problem, and that there is no difference between us. Because each person does not want to participate, because he is afraid that he will get hurt, that he will be last, and somehow he can be hurt. And here now, you bring them to the animate level. For the human level you can bring them where we can talk about anything. It depends on the physiological preparation of the group that you are working with.

Nitzah: And the physiological preparation includes...?

There can be a few people in a group that are friendly people, that care, they just talk freely and make jokes and stuff. You can start with them and then less with them and get to the others. Gradually, it is not just that you cannot just start lining them up and make them jump. No, of course not.

You have to understand that there people come from very far towards you. They get closer to you, because you give them many examples from the world and this is how it happens. You are helping them understand what humans are. You help them to come out of this “me.” to “this is us.” That's very important. And when it's us, then I am not ashamed. You relate to them like a doctor to sick people. We are talking about humans and that you came to correct them, and then it is a completely different way to relate to them.

Oren: How do I do it?

I do not go into anyone, ”Tell me what happened with you at your first meeting with your husband.” No, no, I do not ask things like that. I am not going to touch points like that, no. I am always taking them to another level, “It's us, altogether, humans, egoistic, this is how we behave, that's why we feel bad, how we can reach a higher level where we will feel good.” That's it.

I try each time to speak in a manner that I take them each out of their corner to the general level, where they are all just humans. That's us. Everyone can say, “Yes, that's human nature. They like to steal a bit, to be a bit happy, a bit sad, a bit like this, like that, it's natural. That's us.” What do we have? Food, family, sex, and money. The main thing is to get away from his personal stuff. And there with general stuff, it is like he’s in a hospital. The doctor is looking at him, the doctor is looking at his body. He does not see the person, the patient. He sees a stomach, head, leg, whatever. It's very simply physiological steps. I do not want even to talk about it.

Oren: I want to understand the goal. I have people here and I want to upgrade them. What do I want to upgrade in them? What exactly? I am leading the process, what exactly do I want to upgrade? Something in their perception, how they relate to the society and people? This upgrade from what to what?

That how I relate to the society is higher, greater and that can improve my whole life.

Oren: I don’t get it. This is what I understood. I have an organization with which I am working, and my goal is that I am leading the process to make an upgrade, and how each person in their organization relates to society and the public in general.

And the public in general and to the group. And to society in general.

Oren: Okay, so that’s what I am coming to do. An upgrade. Now my next question, “What is the essence of the upgrade, from what to what?”

From isolation to connection.

Oren: From being isolated to connection, to unity. That's the essence. Now for that, you are saying, “do not come to someone with something personal that stresses them, like she said, she is ashamed.” And then you say, if I understood , in this whole explanation, there was a common thought that we are all like this, we all do this, we all do that. What am I trying to prove here? What is this insight? That we are all what?

We all are human.

Oren: But what? You are saying something specific.

There is no difference between us. We have nothing to be ashamed of. We all went through all kinds of, you know, education, and brainwashing. All of us today is not us. Now we will try for the first time to define our situation by the environment, and that we choose to be otherwise. What we had up until now, there was no free choice. We are all little animals.

Oren: What?

Yes, after the explanation. It's not just like that. But it comes out. I will bring you research and not just logical proof, but who are you, what are you, what do you have that you chose? You will have such and such values, such and such tastes, facts or agreements, conclusions from where? You were filled with this and this is how you live. It does not mean you have any thought or desire of your own or any decision of your own. It's not you. So who are you? I built the machine, I gave it all kinds of input and now it works. That's each of us. It's not clear? What's not clear? Ask psychologists, they will tell you.

Oren: That's what you are saying? Doesn’t seem like it’s at the beginning.

At the beginning after five, six, or seven times, they will start to feel it, yes. What is free choice? We give it from the beginning.

Oren: You said five or six, For the first point there was the principle, I was asked not to take up your time, but to understand it, because I understand it’s the principle that has to go all the way. You are saying all of us are like that, do not get excited about it, do not be sad and think you are screwed up. We’re all like that. It's something, this feeling we will have all along the way. Something...don’t close that, do not think that you’re not okay, we are all like that. We are all what?

There's nothing to be ashamed of what is inside of each of us. There's nothing to think that each of us is special, we all have the same things more or less, different merging of desires, the same things, just different merging between them, different relations between them. This is the difference between people. A different mix of these things inside us.

Oren: There are better people and worse people.

More or less, etc. So what? So what? In what are you different compared to her, compared to him? Are you really asking me? I will tell you. I choose you, and how pleasant it is for me to be with you or with her.

Oren: Again? Come again?

We are not talking about the person himself. We measure him compared to others. How I measure something

Oren: In general?

Yes

Oren: Compared to something else?

Exactly. I measure you and her. I measure how pleasant it is for me to be with you compared how pleasant it is for me to be with her. Meaning I do not check you. That's it. I make a comparison of what's more convenient for me. So now, we are not looking at you. I want to bring you to a state where it will be convenient with each of you equally. Everyone will be good kids. You will all smile. You will relate to each other well, that's why we do not pay attention to ... so she has something personal, and she is embarrassed, and he is more daring, etc., etc. We do not relate to that. We want it to be convenient and pleasant. In general, to bring everyone to a new level of relations.

Oren: How is it possible that you won’t measure it? I do not understand. You see me walking down the hall, you are happy to say “good morning.” You fought yesterday with Nitzah, you do not want to say “good morning.” How can you treat everyone the same? What, you do not have feelings?

I do have feelings, of course. But why do I have to show them? Why do I have to fight with her?

Oren: I am not saying you came to fight. You said that we'll reach a state where...

They will be happy. They will have a good situation. Why should it be bad? The relationships between us will be good. We will have to work on it. Do not think it will be a dead situation, that everything will be without action or color. There will be lots of color. Your ego will not let you calm down. You will have a thriving, very full life.

Oren: Another question. She said. “You spoke about in the exercises, that people need to pay attention to each other and everyone has to try to cancel himself a bit.”

Let's leave that for now. You understand that it does not happen immediately. When we spoke to Nitzah, she said, “Oren, you spoke so nicely now in such a smart way. I did not understand, I barely understood something that you said. It was so high.”

Nitzah: That's called cancelling myself?

This is how we act. It's a game, and it becomes a second nature. I told him this already. I already made some connection like that, from downward upward towards him. That's it. And then we already have the way of how to relate to him like to a big person. Now, let him try to do it.

Nitzah: I am trying to understand the principle. I am trying to understand the principle behind...there is a term called cancelling myself and we know that words can be analyzed in all kinds of ways.

This is not cancelling myself. So, what is it? It's connection. It's connecting, merging. There can’t be a connection if once I am higher and once I am lower, and also my friend is lower and higher, and then we are equal and we connect.

Nitzah: I do not get it. Please explain there is a law, I feel that there is a law.

Oren: There can’t be a connection, with him begin higher and lower and then we are equal. Either you are higher or lower then. How did you become equal?

I will explain. No problem. None of us is not equal to the other. How do we reach equality?

Oren: Equality in what?

In feeling each other. Each one is equal to the other, because the connection can only be between equals. Even love we talk about, that maybe we’ll reach love. Love can only be among equals. If it's more or less it's taking advantage.

Nitzah: If I manage a department and he is worker of mine, how can I be equal to him?

We are not talking about manager, not manager. We are talking about people who work in a department. The manager can go out. So each and every person is different than others. I am not talking about the job that he has as a manager

Nitzah: So according to what? That's exactly the question.

I do not know. Each person is different. There's lots of things in a person that I do not know.

Oren: I am willing to accept them that everyone is different?

Of course. So how can we reach equality? By connecting, to be at the same level. I start respecting you like you are huge, way up in the sky. I am like a little kid looking at the big person. I do not even see where your head is, I barely reach your knees with my nose. That's how great you are. That's how we talk in the workshop. “You’re great, you succeeded, etc.” What I think is not important. It's important what I am saying.

Oren: What do you mean it doesn’t matter what you truly think?

We are not judging a person by who he is. We are acting, we are playing something new.

Oren: Okay, that's important

Afterwards, you do the same thing to me, about my greatness. Afterwards, I do the same thing to you. You are small and I want to teach you with my whole heart like a father to his son.

Oren: Do you say something or...?

In workshops, everything.

Oren: It is like you are treating me like a father treats his son? How does it come about?

By explaining to you what connection is, what love is, what it is for, why we need to get out of our ego. I teach you.

Oren: You teach me good things that are connected to the process?

Of course.

Oren: Like that you are smarter than I am?

Yes.

Oren: So what do I have to do now? What do I have to do with that?

You have to accept it. What I am saying, you have to accept it.

Oren: But the fact that you are smarter than me, how do I accept it? First there was an easy exercise. You said to me how great I am; that was easy. Talk, talk as much as you want.

No, no

Oren: Now you are teaching me.

It is not teaching. I am coming to treat you like a father, to give to you. If I give to you, I am greater than you. If I am receiving from you, I am smaller than you. We need to be in these two situations, each person to the other.

Oren: What are you giving me? What are you giving me like a father? How do I need to relate to you now?

To receive it from me, to listen, and to be small.

Oren: That's what I am asking, how can I be small?

We are playing, it's a game. We are acting.

Oren: I want to understand how to act.

This is my father...

Oren: You know, you’re not talking about my father. I am talking to myself. What do I have to say to myself? How can I open myself to …?

I say to you, “Oren, you know, what it's called? The correct society, that we all treat each other well, that we are all connected. You will also need to be connected to everyone.” That is what I will say to you. And you will act as if you are hearing it for the first time with these eyes like you are now. And with interest and with dedication.

Oren: It's a game and we are acting. And now I am acting as if I am really interested and paying attention, as if it is the most important thing in the world.

Yes, you are acting. And then, when we are acting like that with each other, we can reach high and low. We can reach that single level.

Oren: But we did not work on one. We worked high and low.

But, on one you can act, it's like a missile when it flies. First of all it, has to catch itself how distant it is from the line, but the line itself cannot fly on.

Oren: So, you mean the feeling of equality...you are looking for an equation to bring us to equality. So I get it. By interactions, where once I am big and you are small, and the opposite, we will reach the result that we call equality. How do you know that you reached this result? How can you measure it?

There is no way of measuring it.

Oren: So how do you know we are equal? How do you know you are succeeded in the process?

By the feeling between us.

Oren: What do we need to feel?

That we are really close. That we can be open, that we can participate together in things, that we are not ashamed of one another. We understand that we are together in a process. There's an inner feeling.

Oren: Measuring is impossible and a person is capable of it?

A participant. How can we measure people?

Oren: How can we measure it, in kilograms? Can he measure if he succeeded in this workshop more than other times?

Based on his depth of understanding and feeling. What is he is measuring? That he is more connected to others, that he understands the essence of connection.

Oren: Can you explain this a bit? Expand on this? He measures everything. Whom is he measuring? Himself?

Himself compared to connection.

Oren: What does it mean “more connected to others?” What am I measuring exactly?

The extent that you and all your goals in life. Take them into consideration, you are considerate with them. I do not know how to put it. The extent that you are connected with them. Let's say, now they bring you something good to eat, you won't eat until you share it with them. I do not know how it is in an organization, but how can we measure it? We need some kind of measuring stick.

Oren: That is what I am looking for.

I do not think we need that there to that extent. I think it's enough to do these exercises. It comes in the Sephirot.

Oren: Okay. What's else, Nitzah?

Nitzah: So, you are saying here I will feel that result will be a good feeling. A good feeling, that there is a good and pleasant connection between people. So how can I know I succeeded, and if I feel after this exercise, closeness and warmth, and something pleasant, then it is a measurement for success?

Oren: By the way, how will you measure yourself, a person leading this process? Let's say, a week went by. What do you want to see that changed in this week as a result and you can say, “I succeeded, I advanced. My goal was to upgrade relationships from isolation to connection.” How do you know that you succeeded after a week?

Put up cameras everywhere.

Oren: What do you expect to see?

See how much you are smiling, how open you are, how concerned you are, in general, to the work place, not just each person to one another. I do not know. The main thing is the feeling. I feel that you are becoming closer, different, more bonded, and more open. You are not embarrassed, not ashamed of each other, you can tell other people what's happening, you are more open to what happens with each person, how they feel, how they think, and what is happening to the other person. You want to cause good to one another in words, in movements, and in everything.

Oren: In this process you are describing, we’re more open this and that; let's say we went through a week. We had a successful week, we’re more open, etc. We had a weekend and it's Sunday morning. You came home upset today, I came home upset today. How do we deal with this?

A society that feels that you are upset, they grab you, and they take you in a corner.

Oren: This is what they are going to do in the organization? I am asking seriously. We had a wonderful week.

They need to treat you.

Oren: How?

I am asking you.

Oren: What do you do when people get upset all of a sudden? That's the question.

You need to come and say, “Friends, today I am totally stressed out, I am furious. My mother-in-law came for a month.”

Oren: Let’s say okay.

And that's it. They threw me to sleep in the kitchen and now I do not know what I am going to do. No football, no beer in the evening, eating junk in the living room. I have to show that I am the ideal husband. I do not have strength for it.

Oren: But, you are explaining that a person comes and he is sharing I do not mean... that's not what I mean. I mean that the stress that you got at home caused you to be stressed inside the organization.

They need to see this.

Oren: They see that you are upset.

You can really see that I am upset. There is no way to hide it

Oren: So, they need to come to you and say what? That's what I am asking. What do they do with you now? Is there treatment for someone breaking out in anger? You say we all have to be attentive to each other, like we are in the garden of Eden, but in life there's something happened. I failed in some business venture or something, I do not know what. Something happened and brought me down. So what do you do? How do you deal with it? And how do you get me out of the situation?

They need to come to you and start treating you. I do not know. Mainly by talking, laughing, bringing you something to drink, something hard to drink, something that will warm your heart. And in all kinds of things that... the influence of the environment. The influence of the environment, there's nothing else.

Nitzah: There's another question that was asked about these workshops, that some of them are acting. So I will read the question, “In the workshop, normal workshop that a person does today, he also does exercises like he gets silly, he compliments other people, he plays also these kinds of situations. He does not actually change. He puts on a character, takes off a character, then he goes back to who he is. So what is the difference between those workshops? Is their goal to connect or not?”No, their goal is to learn how to act. They’re learning how to act.

That's the completely different story. So when I am acting, I do not have a goal to be connected. Where our goal is to play, we want to reach connection between us. We want to change ourselves, but only in a simpler way. That's why we are acting. Acting is not the goal, but rather the means. And for them it's the goal to play better. We do not want to play better, we want through playing, to reach a better, more serious life.

Nitzah: What is there about acting that truly helps a person connect?

Habit, first of all. Habit, because I am not an actor. When I act, it works on me. Habit is one thing, openness is the second thing, because I am acting. I do not care to say “Nitzah, I love you. Can I serenade you, or I am going to explode?” Yes, I can and everyone know it's an act. But I can.

Now, when I say it, gradually I change because it influences me. I am not an actor that only gets it externally. And then it turns out that we change. A game changes a person. It's easier for me as a game, because I am acting that I am the good Michael, because it's clear that it is not me. I am not hurting myself, but gradually through this, I will change.

How will I change? If society starts to treat me according to this new role, “He was so nice, he did this so well, it suits you, etc.” Wow, I start to be blown up.” Tell me again, I did not hear,” like a little kid. That's how it works.

The other thing; the game, the acting has to be only if I am playing a positive role. Only. God forbid if it's the opposite. And a happy role, an effective role, not some dramatic role. It has to be not too comedic, but really, the good me. The absolutely good and perfect me, righteous.

It's like we talk with kids. When we really want to educate them, we need to understand them. We need to... these people that go through a course at home; they act differently to their wife and kids. They develop relationships where the people at home won't understand why they are changing. The act has to repeat itself. Meaning that we have to strengthen each time, what we have achieved.

Nitzah: You mean outside the workshop. We completed a workshop and played active, like for an hour.?

I do not know. What exercises, yes? But to try to give tips. Like what do we have at home? Who has little kids? Let's start playing with them like this and this, let's start talking to them like this. Not an actual game, but rather role playing, and also with a wife. Who has like a tough wife? How do you put it? A wife that is not a big help. There is no such word.

Oren: I do not know. I cannot think of a word. But it is clear what you are saying. Most people have a wife like that.

What do you do with that? So we have a tip for you. Start talking nicely to her.

Oren: As if.

Not “as if.” “As if” is even worse. What do you mean “as if?”

Oren: Are you saying we are acting, it's role playing?

But it does not need to be an act. Say “something is different today. You have a prettier hairdo or your eyes look bigger.”

Oren: To compliment her.

Of course, but in a gentle way, not that she'll think that you want to escape for a week to summer vacation with your friends.

Oren: Okay, this is like homework for us?

At home, with the family, but now you have an example of you need to do. You know, you have done it before.

Oren: I've got it. But I did not understand. What do you mean it has to be repetitive, the act? What do you mean?

A person is always changing. The ego is always receiving in quantities and quality changes. So now and then, we need, on the game that we had before, and the same words, and the same roles. We need to repeat it and then you will feel, “ Wow, I felt it this time much more than last time.” Okay?

Oren: Yes.

I do not remember, but our whole life is a game. We grow and change only through games. And then to grab myself, I want to see when the game will become reality, because that is what will happen to the extent that I want to play with the reality outside myself, and that I want to describe as if everything is good. I now want to see the whole world and how it is friendly to me. Then I begin to relate to the whole world and suddenly I feel that it's like that. With my own eyes, it really is. The whole world loves me. The whole world is good to me. No one is treating me badly. Everyone is giving me a place. Nobody is blocking me on the road. I change reality. And it's really like that.

Nitzah: You said before that life is an act, a game, but in every game there are good guys and bad guys.

There are no bad guys. Anyone who criticizes, is criticizing himself.

Nitzah: There are only good actors in our games?

Yes. Everyone's good. In that, I really make a change. Not just going into some fairy tales, something imaginary. But in that, I am changing my life. In that I am working on nature in a manner that this is how it will happen.

We are not allowed to use words that are not from our workshop, but I would even say that in that, I am awakening the Upper Force that changes reality. That's it.

And in my positive influence, I am truly influencing the network of connection between us, that I really want positively, that's how it will happen. Because I have the general force of nature and the system that we are building, and then it happens. It's the influence of man on the environment and then the environment on the whole world.

Oren: I want to ask something. About the game, you said what makes this role playing different than other psychodramas, and workshops that I am sure organizations have seen to improve relations, etc., you explain that the difference is in the target. We are going to this game to be more connected, and that through the game we can change and reach a state where everyone is isolated to a state where everyone is connected. This we need. Do we need to announce this, talk about it, remind people of this, before we start these interactions of role playing between us?

Look, according to the situation, I think so.

Oren: To mention it, yes?

You need to be as open as possible with them, not to act with them. They need to know that now we are acting. They need to know, they need to receive our method, our system, and they need to accept it in a healthy way with all the foundations as much as you can convey to them, to the depth that they are capable of grasping. They need to be active partners and active in implementation.

They need to know why they are doing it. “I am acting, why am I acting? For what? It really is an act, it's not serious, but through acting I see how I am changing”. Bring them all kinds of proof from science how acting changes the person, how plants and animals and everyone is acting and that’s how they grow.

If we did not act, what would have happen to us? We would remain like animals. Our acts that we want are like games in that we want to be like this image or that role model. That's how we grab and now we are defining to ourselves a person who is integral with his environment. That's how we want to act.

We have an environment and I come, I am connected to everyone, I am good to everyone and everyone is good to me. If I describe the situation that I built, this what will happen. And suddenly I will feel, in our society, how everyone is treating me with love. Everyone wants connection, unity and they are changing me and I am changing them. And suddenly we reach good relations. Suddenly we feel that everything came together: at home, with our relatives, at work, our health is better, blood pressure went down, I am less stressed. We do not need to take drugs. I see my diabetes calmed down, my blood sugar level went down. Everything is based on research and in society, how much everyone... how with laughter, you can treat everything.

Oren: What is the summary?

Mutuality, mutual responsibility is good. That's it

Oren: Our time is up. Thank you Rav Laitman. Thank you Nitzah. Thank you for being with us and we will try to be in good mutuality and mutual responsibility until next time. All the best and good life.

(End of the conversation)