The transcript has been transcribed and edited from English simultaneous interpretation, thus there may be potential semantic inaccuracies within it.
Daily Morning Lesson: June 27, 2025
Part 3: Winning the War – Selected excerpts to reinforce the World Kli and for peace in the world. Peace Among Friends, Excerpt #60
Reader: The topic of our lesson now is peace among friends. And we can find the material in the study materials tab in the Arvut system. We are in item 60. This is from Likutey Etzot.
Reading: (00:20) 60. Likutey Etzot, "Peace,” Item 10
One must not look at one's friend unfavorably, finding in him precisely that which is not good and searching for flaws in his friend's work. On the contrary, one must only look at the good and always search and find in him merit and good, and by this there will be peace with everything.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:16) So, but still awakening the wicked ones, or the evil inclination against the good inclination to awaken lack somehow. it becomes revealed, right, so how do you deal with it? Also, Baal HaSulam says that I am happy about the evils that are revealed.
M. Laitman: Yes, these are all such words that can be manipulated. What's to add here?
Rav reads: One must not look at one's friend unfavorably, finding in him precisely that which is not good, and searching for flaws in his friend's work. On the contrary, one must only look at the good and always search and find in him merit and good. And by this, there will be peace with everything.
So, if a person is looking for what's good in the friends that leads him to peace, to wholeness, completion. Complementation with the Creator and all of creation, everything through his attitude to the friends.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (04:07) How can we see the friends through the point in the heart?
M. Laitman: If I am in spiritual work and I have some friends, meaning that I'm connected with them together in a spiritual ascent. Then certainly this is the place where we learn peace among friends, that's it. So, we have to make sure that there's always peace among us, completion and wholeness.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (05:13) What to do, well, the first layer, when I look at the friend, the first layer I see, it's the flaws, the evil, that's what I see.
M. Laitman: That's what you do from your nature, okay, that's not something you're punished for – and that's not how to connect to the person. That was given to us in order to differentiate between what we have and what we wish to have.
Student: It says that it's forbidden to look at a friend unfavorably. Can I forbid myself from doing that?
M. Laitman: No. But the moment you see that this is what's happening, you stop yourself and try to start finding the good.
Student: The good that I find in the friend, that exists above the evil that I see in him, the bad that I see, one above the other? Or does he have both good and bad and I need to focus on the good?
M. Laitman: No. You can't see the good, just like that from within your nature. Because to begin with, our nature is an evil nature. But when try to move to good, then we measure, we feel the extent to which we are immersed in evil.
Student: So, I shouldn't obfuscate reality. If I see something bad in the front, then it's real, it's true.
M. Laitman: Is it correct, I can't say. Is it natural, yes it is. Our nature is a will to receive.
Student: And how to shift from bad to good? I see a flaw in the friend and then suddenly I see good in him? My entire nature is egoistic.
M. Laitman: Certainly, your nature doesn't let you relate to him in a good way. But along with it, when you feel how much you see in him. To begin with, when you observe everyone, you can see how you're looking at them through egoistic lenses.
Student: So, where is the good? I always find only bad in him and I don't understand how to even begin to find anything good. So long as my glasses are egoistic, what good can I find in the friend?
M. Laitman: You don't. But when you observe and you identify in him all sorts of discernments, then you need to know that all of it is because, to begin with, you are immersed in evil inclination.
Student: So, what do I do when I see evil in the friend, flaws in the friend?
M. Laitman: You pray for the Creator to replace your nature. Who can you blame for being under these egoistic forces? Only to ask for correction.
Student: And when the correction comes, what will I see in the friend?
M. Laitman: When there is correction, you will see in everyone only good.
Student: And where would be the flaw that I saw, previously?
M. Laitman: The flaw is in you, that that's how you were seeing things.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (10:12) With respect to a person that I don't care so much about, I can see good things. It's easy, I can justify the person, that's how he is. Now, when I love someone or when I want to love someone, I expect much more of them.
M. Laitman: Yes?
Student: So, specifically with respect to a friend, if I want him to advance more, I'm talking about with respect to the goal, yes? So when I want him to advance more, to be more connected, right now it seems to me he is not. How can I justify that? Because it seems to not, it doesn't depend on me, I expect him to make a step, to take a step, to do something.
M. Laitman: Yes, you must recognize in him specifically the good qualities. And not that you continue with the first spirit you had there, to see him as the wicked.
Student: I'm not seeing him as the wicked, I see him, let's say a friend I know he used to come every day to the morning lesson, okay? Suddenly he doesn't and I want him to come. I'm doing actions for him to come, we are doing actions as a Ten, he's not coming. Now I want to justify him not coming, but it's not correct – there's a certain order that we need to keep. So we can say the Creator gave him a burdening and all that, but we need to do an action towards him.
M. Laitman: Yes.
Student: We do all that we can, he still doesn't come. What can we do? How can I say, it's good? To lie to myself and say that it's okay.
M. Laitman: No. You know the fact that you look at him and see him with the wrong attitude towards creation, first of all., why isn't it painful for you, why don't you pray instead of him. That the Creator will give him the correct attitude to all created beings? What else? It should be enough.
Student: I'm not talking about my attitude,. I'm talking about the facts: The friend simply doesn't come to the lesson. I really want him to come, not just me, the whole Ten wants him to come, he's not coming.
M. Laitman: So, I guess it came to us in order for us to bestow upon him, to influence him in a way that he will come.
Student: So, in no place can we say that there's something dependent on him. It all depends on me or us?
M. Laitman: Everything depends on each one and the environment, his environment.
Student: What I'm saying is, if I really care about a friend, it hurts, it's suffering.
M. Laitman: Yes.
Student: But there's things that you say, what can you do? What else can you do?
M. Laitman: You don't have what to do except for to show him your relation towards everyone, to all of creation. And to pray for him, pray that the Creator will help him.
Student: When a person doesn't agree with it, does he not agree with the Creator? Is he condemning the Creator for something not okay happening?
M. Laitman: That's right, that's correct.
Student: So that hurts even more.
M. Laitman: Why?
Student: Because you blame him, he does it in his own flaws.
M. Laitman: So, if you have some flaw, meaning that you can't justify, so why can't you justify? Because the Creator gave you, instead of a nice attitude towards everyone, an egoistic attitude. Then whether you want it or not, that's how you relate to everyone.
Student: Yes, but I'm giving a specific example: If a friend doesn't come to the lesson, he won't receive the light, and he won't be part of us, and gradually he'll disconnect, that's clear. So there's a fact in the end, does he come or not? And we're doing everything, and he's not coming. So justify this, this is what the Creator wants? No, it hurts.
M. Laitman: No. But you're saying about that friend that it's not that he did that so the Creator will change his relation to reality, but the contrary. You're saying that the relation to reality depends on how the friend reads the road map, and you feel suffering from that, that he's not like you; and you're willing to pray for him.
Student: And I pray, and he still doesn't come.
M. Laitman: That's your problem already, not his. We'll learn about it.
Student: How do I resolve this problem?
M. Laitman: If you pray for your friend and it doesn't change, it doesn't change reality. So we need to have a special plea for the Creator, a prayer of the collective. Meaning, turn to your friends and together pray to the Creator, that He will change His relation to that specific friend, and then you'll be able to see the change for the good.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (19:14) What is this action, completing for a friend, complimenting a friend? What do I need to do in my actions when we say to complete something for a friend?
M. Laitman: I said that word?
Student: I heard from Rav that I need to complete things with friends.
M. Laitman: To complete, meaning that no one has, towards the state we've gone through, nobody has any complaint.
Student: And what is to see the friend in a good relation towards creation?
M. Laitman: You and your attitude towards everyone, you see them as complete righteous. And that everyone is only doing good, only commandments and that's it. And everything you see is incorrect, you need to tell yourself that you're not seeing correctly, you are seeing evil. And that's why you should pray and ask the Creator to change your qualities that you'll see only good in a friend.
Student: He's talking here about coming and seeking flaws. I'm not coming to search for flaws but the ego brings up these things towards the friends all the time. He says we're not allowed to look, to search for these things. What do I do when the ego shows me not good things towards the friends? Is that a state where the Creator is showing me what I need to correct in me? What do I do at that moment when I see that the ego is bouncing not good things about friends before me?
M. Laitman: You, in that same moment, recognize the evil in you.
Student: So, that's a point I have to ask for correction from the Creator, here?
M. Laitman: Yes.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (22:15) This state before a friend that I feel towards every friend, I have an attitude that I need to come to a place where I have a wall and I need to pray. Now, a question about this prayer: I need to awaken the Ten and for every friend apart and to pray with them? Or do I need in me, to show this prayer for all the friends in the Ten?
M. Laitman: To begin with, you want to be connected with a plea to the Creator and if it doesn't work out then you need to deal with it. Meaning, if the friends in the group went through all the preparations to everything they're going through – just like we're going through now – they learn how they can bring your society to be in the right relation towards the Creator. Meaning, that the Creator takes care of everyone, He gives to everyone. Each one to the extent that he sees or understands sets his relation back to the Creator?
Student: And my attitude towards the friends meaning my prayer inside, I need to awaken the friends or do I need for every friend I have a deficiency. I see how I want to see him somehow and he's not like that. So, I need to pray in myself and to seek this prayer and ask the Creator? Or do I need to raise the friends, let's say, hey friends, let's go raise the prayer for this friend like this and like that?
M. Laitman: Yes, you can awaken them.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (25:33) What needs to happen to a person so that his approach towards the friends will be correct?
M. Laitman: He needs to correct himself, then he'll have such desires, intentions, thoughts on each and every friend that are correct.
Student: It's natural that a person will have negative thoughts about a friend. What should he do with those thoughts?
M. Laitman: It’s to correct. If he is a friend, so he must be close to me.
Student: How do I correct that thought, what do I do?
M. Laitman: You pray. What do you correct? Who does it, a person? No. The Creator with his light when he shines upon a person for each and every one, and by that he changes reality. A person who, every time receives a truer light, then he changes himself. That's what brings him to the whole reality.
Student: We have negative thoughts about friends, we need to place the Creator before me, to pray to Him because he's doing this to me, that's the solution?
M. Laitman: Yes.
Student: So the Creator is playing with me through the friends, can say it like that?
M. Laitman: Yes, you can say that.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (27:32) What is the meaning peace with everyone? Who is this everyone or everything?
M. Laitman: Everything is everything that affects me. According to their influence on me, I build my attitude towards society, towards life, towards the Creator, towards everyone.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (28:13) Where are there people who have the tendency to critique, and there's people who don't have the tendency to critique others.
M. Laitman: Yes?
Student: What is the divide to?
M. Laitman: That also changes in each and every one, more or less. Yes, it's not so important, what is important is what I want. My feeling myself in the friends, between the friends, when I'm with. So, we can say that my attitude towards creation, towards the Creator depends on the extent that I'm at peace with the friends.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (29:36) Can we be more precise about the work: In the Ten, usually we pray together to connect in the points in the hearts and to be capable to be adhered to the Creator. Being the quality of bestowal to bring him contentment, etc. What does it matter if I see bad qualities in a friend? I see he's lazy, stingy, that he's I don't know, critiques. We just say we don't relate to that, we're connecting our point in the heart which is the desire, the longing of a friend to the Creator.
M. Laitman: Why? Why about things that are supposedly bad I don't want to relate to?
Student: So, that is what I'm asking, that is what it appeared to me as I heard so far that this is our work. And when I see the qualities of the friends it really doesn't matter, we're above that. The friend has a longing, he has a desire to connect to the Creator; it's with his yearning that I want to connect. The fact that he has these qualities or those attributes good, not, we'll put that aside. Here I'm hearing that there's some resolution of studying my attitude and saying where I see things that are good or bad and use this and work with this.
M. Laitman: Yes, so that's exactly the way to relate to it. If not, I'll never change myself. I'll never get closer not to the friends and not to the Creator?
Student: So, how directly do we go before the evil inclination in his face like that? Because it seems to me like we didn't relate to such things, we tried to make the importance of the Creator greater. Here I am relating more directly to the ego, to the evil that's being revealed. It's like I'm going to care for it face to face.
M. Laitman: Yes. That's how it should be, but not instantly. When a person who's just starting the work he already jumps on his inclinations and everything. But, it comes in the right measure, the right weight, and a person can gradually accept it. And upon that asks the Creator to relate to him, to change him.
Student: Then where is this point of contact of ours, if each works on his evil inclination, his negative qualities that he discovers in himself, where is our meeting point?
M. Laitman: The meeting point is always in bestowal from everyone to the others and to the Creator and only in that way we connect.
Question (W Rehovot): (33:17) What practical actions can help a person see the good in a friend?
M. Laitman: Connection.
Question (W USA West): (33:33) When I see bad in a friend, do I ask the Creator to correct my vision or the bad that I'm seeing?
M. Laitman: I don't know, check yourself when you see bad in a friend.
Question (W Turkiye 1): (33:59) Is the measure of evil that I see in a friend the measure of evil that's in me?
M. Laitman: Doesn't have to be.
Question (W Turkiye 9): (34:11) What's the most beautiful prayer I can say for the friends to keep in my heart all day long?
M. Laitman: That you want to be incorporated in that entire circle with your friends; and along with the Creator that will control all of you.
Reader: We have another short, in the same spirit, another short excerpt, we can add Number 61.
Rav reads: Although your friend's virtues are not equal to yours, you must tolerate him and love him. For so the Creator created him.
M. Laitman: What can you do? This is what comes out.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (35:43) Let's say, now the sentence we just read, that we need to tolerate each and everyone, because that's how the Creator created him. I'm sure there are other such rules, how do we implement this in the society? We're nevertheless a society, there are many people here. Each has his judgmental nature, we have committees, we manage ourselves as a regular society. Suddenly we get this rule, tolerate each and everyone, that's how the Creator made him. How do you get along with that?
M. Laitman: We're willing to accept everyone that is beside us in order to eventually justify the Creator – to justify everyone, except for myself. And I myself need to see the friends and the way they behave in a way that I have to accept them with love.
Student: But we in our external world judge a person according to their external appearance. How do we overcome this? Or maybe we don't need to overcome it, and say, oh he's okay, he's not okay, and so on and so forth. What's the right way to relate to this? And by this, G-d forbid, harm a friend, or vice versa, I don't know. What's the right attitude towards this?
M. Laitman: The correct relation is that I have to see all the friends connected; connecting between them and the Creator and that's what's important for me. That's why anything that could change in me, I judge it according to as much as I, upon it, come closer to the Creator.
Student: But I don't have, are these laws that you can implement in a society, or is this only individually, each of us, and each one? Can you implement such a thing in a society, or is this how the society behaves and it's an example that we give in this way?
M. Laitman: In society, we can be in a relation that is the way we have to relate to the whole world. And then, gradually, gradually, we will see how each and every friend that the Creator created and sent to our group, as much as he adds to the connection between us.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (39:40) A friend is who society calls, a friend, or someone I invest in?
M. Laitman: A friend is called, one who we accept as our friend. A friend on the path, a friend to the goal, in relation to the Creator, in one's work in the group. According to all one's relations, he is called, a friend.
Student: Let's say, I see in the Ten that society defines a Ten, and according to some definitions. Let's say not everybody is holding those definitions, but I'm investing in all of them. So it's like expanding the borders of what society defined, I can't say that is a friend, that isn't a friend. I'm asking, are the efforts, my efforts, towards every friend, is that what will define if he's my friend or not?
M. Laitman: My efforts towards every friend eventually change me. Towards the Creator, towards the relations with the upper light, and therefore it's worthwhile to change myself this way.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (41:33) What is the role of the Ten here because if I see flaws in the friend, and I ask the Creator to see them corrected, to correct my observation towards the flaws that I see. So, what's the Ten's role, here?
M. Laitman: You operate within the Ten, altogether, you don't operate alone. You need to emerge from yourself, connect with the whole Ten and then connect to that friend that you want to change. And to the Creator to change His attitude towards you and you towards that friend. This is all given to you in order to change yourself; for then you will be able to reach a connection with the Creator.
Student: It's written here, for example, that even though your friend is not equal as your own qualities, you must tolerate him and love him, for so the Creator created him. What does it mean that I must tolerate him? I don't see Him corrected, and I have to ask the Creator to see him corrected. What makes it spiritual? If I didn't attain spirituality, the fact that I ask from the Creator, I can say, I don't see, I can't. But inside, I still feel that way. When does it become a true correction?
M. Laitman: Look, you intend to be like the Creator in creation, or is that not important to you? And rather, what's important to you is for you to be inscribed there in the Book of the Righteous?
Student: And if I want to be like the Creator in creation, I want to equalize with Him, I want to complete Him, I want to love like Him?
M. Laitman: Please, please bring a list. Write down for yourself the list of what you think; that by, this you're going with the Creator hand in hand and behave that way.
Student: So, for a person, every time the flaws of the friend's open and he asks the Creator to correct his observation?
M. Laitman: Correct.
Student: When does it become a correction because flaws are always coming up, a person can always be in this dialogue. When does it really become a correction?
M. Laitman: It becomes a correction when the subject, the topic of the correction becomes the highest of all the others.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (45:49) The correction depends on as much as I feel, let's say, how painful it feels that I seem disregarding a friend? That's what the correction depends on.
M. Laitman: Yes, there's something in that, yes.
Student: Like I can see myself, that I see flaws in a friend and it's not so painful, I can ask, but it doesn't really disturb me. I can see flaws in a friend that it burns me from inside, that's the way I see it. So the intensity of the correction depends on that gap of what I feel?
M. Laitman: The power of correction depends on the power of your request.
Student: And that depends on how painful it is that I'm in that state?
M. Laitman: On that, too, yes.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (47:15) What does it mean to seem as the Creator in the creation?
M. Laitman: To seem like the Creator?
Student: To be like the Creator in creation?
M. Laitman: That's something a person needs to be, I don't think that it's already there at the height, at our height. I think that to be as the Creator towards creation, I need to be like I expect from the Creator: Good That Does Good to the good and the wicked. And to come close to them and support them as much as possible.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (48:51) When a person looks at a friend, what's the reason he sees criticism?
M. Laitman: That's how it spins for him from above.
Student: But it really exists or it's only in him?
M. Laitman: It really exists, the consequence of the influence of his forms and of the Creator – on what level. And what we need is to be as much as possible above our point of view. And come to a state in which I equalize with creation because it is all relating to me, such that the Creator wants to and from that, I need to change.
Student: But when you look at the friends and you see flaws, so what does it mean about you? The flaws you see are true or it's corruption is in you? How to work with the flaws that you see?
M. Laitman: There's this and that, I can only say that it all depends on that person – on the individual who wants to stand against nature this way.
Student: In what exactly, in what does a person stand against nature?
M. Laitman: In as much as he arranges all these forces that influence him.
Student: So, if a person looks at a friend and sees flaws, what does it mean from this moment on that he organizes himself against nature?
M. Laitman: That he sees flaws in a friend, when he does, he needs to change his attitude to the friend, to the creation. And that is how he'll correct himself gradually.
Student: How does a person recognize flaws? Well, are there flaws in the friend that a person has to comment about them to the friend? Or are all flaws, eventually, it's a person working on himself?
M. Laitman: No, a person who sees flaws in friends needs to understand that in this way the Creator is showing him his attitudes towards the friends. And, well, that's enough.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (53:33) Do I need to calculate on the type of flaws that I see?
M. Laitman: No, no, no, that's still early.
Student: So, if there's a friend I love in the Ten and a friend I can't stand in the Ten. The main work is with the flaws that I discover in the friend that I don't love as much, that I connect to less?
M. Laitman: Yes.
Student: So, I have to say it's a flaw in me, and I have to correct myself and not the friend. But why is it specifically showing up like this? What does it say about me? Not to go deeper into that?
M. Laitman: You can not dig in all those things, and if you can distinguish between that which you feel and what you feel in the connection with the friends, and to continue that way.
Student: So, if I see a flaw in the friend I understand that I have to correct myself.
M. Laitman: Yes?
Student: What about covering it, like the mother and the child? She sees the flaws, but she covers them, meaning I don't erase them. So, I still don't understand between needing to correct myself, but also to see the flaw in the friend without erasing it, but to cover it with love?
M. Laitman: So, how to relate to it correctly? Relating to it correctly, you need eventually to relate to the friend like to the Creator, that's it. It's all done to you by the Creator and that is how it is.
Student: Is it a cover of flaw with love, that's to correct myself?
M. Laitman: Somewhat, yes.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (56:28) For what should I search for love in the friend?
M. Laitman: You want to see in him like you want to see yourself in a completely corrected state.
Student: The more I advance, but I'm reading here that this is what we learn, that the Creator gave me this quality, only seeing problems in the friend, flaws in the friend. We try to understand how to see positive things in the friend, how to want to love the friend. So I'm asking, what should I love in him? What qualities should I discover that I raise them above the hatred?
M. Laitman: You want to see essential forces in him: That he wants to connect with others, wants to be connected with them for the general corrections, and so on, in such a way.
Student: One of the basic articles we learned is the Purpose of Society, why we gathered here. And gradually we understand that there's a purpose, and towards that purpose we have pride, coarseness, things that are revealed. That the more we advance, it just gets greater. So, where to take those forces to always remember what my purpose is with the friends?
M. Laitman: Because this is how you care for your soul.
Student: So, one of the first things the friend also asked in the beginning of the lesson, we see that I keep forgetting it on the path. Friends disappear, friends lose forces, they leave.
M. Laitman: That, too, is inside the questions in the lesson.
Student: So, the Creator gave us friends, the Ten, and what should I do with them to attain this place of love, of the next degree?
M. Laitman: The friends that are besides you in the society, in the group, in the Ten, are from a type that these are your personal parts of your soul. And you need to try to relate to them that way.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:00:13) On behalf of the work that the student awakens. For example, what the friend said, a person stopped coming, a student, and the one that's responding to it says, this is what was awakened in me. Now, what depends on me, the response. Maybe the first thing you can choose is how to implement the path. So then the student says, he who flaws does it in his own flaws. So, we stop coming to the lessons, and whatever we try and do and hug him, it doesn't help. For him, it seems like a kilometer, but I have a millimeter that I'm also like that. Maybe I come, but I don't have importance or yearning, I'm not intending, I don't see my friends around as great, and so on. And then there's already a bit of material for me to pray for; and then I even add and turn to the Ten, and say, look, I'm concerned that our friend isn't showing up, but I see that I'm also not showing up. So it can be that I'm talking, I came here to correct myself, and there's this little cell in me that I don't want to correct, that there's no wholeness. It could be that I'm bringing this deficiency directly towards the society. Or because of all kinds of sensitivities, I use some tricks, and I say, oh, in such, in such article I'd like to read it, because I have some difficulty, and so on. What is the point that after all these efforts, is there exertion in it?
M. Laitman: Exertion and a point of connection with the Creator.
Student: There's a point that I just have to let go and say, all right, time out. That's in the hands of the Creator?
M. Laitman: No, there's no such thing, there's no such thing where a person is outside of the forces of nature. No.
Student: So, before I lie down to sleep, I have to cry that I still can't really love my friend all the way because he showed me what I need to ask for the corrections?
M. Laitman: Yes.
Student: To really cry?
M. Laitman: Yes. Alright, that's it.
Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:03:50) You said that a person needs to scrutinize what he feels, and what he feels from the connection with the friends. So it's two separate things, if I understand it correctly. So the question is: In the connection between the friends, it's still felt that it's different responses, it's someone else, it's still, it feels like the connection isn't out in the open. So the question is, if I see that I'm not corrected, so the connection still isn't whole. Could you say that I'm not relating to the friends correctly, is that part of the connection? Or it's only me and my feelings, and I have no connection with them?
M. Laitman: It could be that you still do not have the connection with the friends.
Student: So, whenever I see the greatness of the friends, and I see that the mood in the Ten is rising. That means that I'm not in my own feelings already but in the connection.
M. Laitman: Yes.