What Is, “If a Woman Inseminates First, She Delivers a Male Child,” in the Work?

Article No. 27, 1991

Our sages said (Berachot 60), “If a woman inseminates first, she delivers a male child. If a man inseminates first, she delivers a female child, as was said, ‘If a woman inseminates, she delivers a male child.’”

We should understand what this implies to us in the work, so we will know how to behave.

It is known that the work that is given to us, to observe Torah and Mitzvot [commandments/good deeds], is in order to cleanse Israel, as it is written in the essay, “Preface to the Wisdom of Kabbalah,” “It is known that ‘cleansing’ is derived from the [Hebrew] word ‘purifying.’ It is as our sages said, ‘The Mitzvot were only given for the purification of Israel.’”

Since the creatures were created with a nature of a desire to receive for oneself, since the purpose of creation is to do good to His creations, for this reason, He created in the creatures a desire to receive delight and pleasure. Since this is in disparity of form from the Creator, who is the Giver, we were given work, where we must equalize in form with the Creator, so we, too, must correct ourselves so that all that we do will be in order to bestow.

We see that there are things we do that are giving, and there are things we do that are receiving. For example, we engage in Mitzvot between man and the Creator, and Mitzvot between man and man, which are usually called “acts of bestowal.” Also, we perform acts of reception such as eating and drinking, and we were given the work of equivalence of form, meaning that both acts of bestowal and acts reception, we must perform them in order to bestow.

It is known that there is an inverse relation between Kelim [vessels] and lights. That is, there are lights that are called “male,” and there are lights that are called “female.” “Male” means wholeness, and “female” means lack, when the degree is not in wholeness with the light that it received.

There are two kinds of light: 1) the light of the purpose of creation, which is called “complete light,” 2) the light of the correction of creation, which is only a clothing for the light of the purpose of creation. This is a female, meaning incomplete, but only a means to achieve wholeness.

The first light is called “light of Hochma [wisdom]” or “light of life,” and the second light is called “light of Hassadim [mercies],” usually referred to as VAK [Vav-Kzavot (six edges)]. This means that it still lacks the first three Sefirot.

Therefore, if a person uses the female Kelim, namely vessels of reception, meaning that the person has awakened to use the vessels of reception in order to bestow, then “she delivers a male child.” That is, from this work, light of Hochma is born, a complete light, the light of life, called “male,” since this light belongs to the purpose of creation, since the Creator created the vessels of reception, called “will to receive,” for the light of the purpose of creation.

It is written, “If a woman inseminates first, she delivers a male child.” But if a person works with the vessels of bestowal, meaning only with acts of bestowal, he can work in order to bestow, for vessels of bestowal are called “male.” Then, only female light is born out of it, since light of Hassadim, which is revealed over vessels of bestowal, can engender only the light of Hassadim, called “VAK without GAR [first three],” indicating the absence of GAR. The light of Hassadim is called “clothing light,” meaning that within the light of Hassadim, the light Hochma will dress later. This is the meaning of the words “If a man inseminates first, she delivers a female child.”

The Zohar says (Tazria, Item 60), “Come and see, when the Creator is with the assembly of Israel, which is Malchut, and she evokes the desire for him first, and attracts him to her with much love and yearning, Malchut is filled with the Hassadim of the male from the right side. And when the Creator evokes love and desire first, and Malchut awakens later, then everything is in the form of female, which is Malchut.”

We should understand what this tells us in the work. It is known that the creatures extend from Malchut. Hence, Malchut is called “the assembly of Israel,” and the people of Israel extend from Malchut. Therefore, The Zohar says that as the order is above, so it extends to the corporeal branches. Accordingly, we should interpret that when a person awakens to the Creator, when he wants the Creator to bring him closer to Him, meaning he wants to adhere to Him, which is called “equivalence of form,” it means that a person wants to do everything for the sake of the Creator but he cannot. Therefore, he asks the Creator to give him the strength, called “desire to bestow.”

When one yearns for this force, since he has a lack, meaning he does not have the power to do everything for the sake of the Creator, through this work he awakens to ask the Creator to give him this power. At that time, he is given from above the power of the desire to bestow, which is a second nature. This is called “she delivers a male child,” meaning a desire to bestow, called “male.” This is considered that the upper one has given the lower one the light of Hassadim, where Hesed [mercy] means bestowing.

In other words, the work of yearning, where the lower one feels its deficiency, this is called “a prayer.” That is, he asks the Creator to fulfill his deficiency. At that time, the satisfaction of the lack is called “male.” It is written, “and she evokes the desire for him first,” meaning her desire, Malchut, called “will to receive.”

In other words, her desire for him, to adhere to him, which is called “equivalence of form,” when he asks the desire to bestow, this is called Dvekut [adhesion]. This is the meaning of the words “Malchut is filled with the Hassadim of the male from the right side.” By this we can interpret “If a woman inseminates first, she delivers a male child,” meaning that the awakening came from the person.

However, this can be precisely where a person initially did not have a desire to draw near to the Creator, meaning he received the awakening from above, since there is the matter of will to receive for spirituality, meaning we can feel pleasure in observing Torah and Mitzvot. We already said in previous articles that there are three discernments to make in this pleasure of receiving reward:

1) He will be rewarded in this world and will be rewarded in the next world. That is, he observes Torah and Mitzvot because he will be rewarded, paid. In other words, he finds no taste in the things he does, but he observes Torah and Mitzvot because he will be rewarded later, so he enjoys it now.

2) He feels a good taste while observing the Mitzvot, since it illuminates for him, he enjoys serving the King, and this is his reward. He believes what he heard from books and from authors that there is pleasure in Torah and Mitzvot, and he also received some awakening from above and began to feel that there can be good taste in observing Torah and Mitzvot more than in the pleasures of this world.

3) He sees what our sages said about Dvekut: “Cling unto Him, cling unto His attributes. As He is merciful, so you are merciful.” For this reason, he awakens to work as a giver and sees that this is out of one’s hands. At that time, he begins to yearn for the Creator to give him the power to be able to do everything in order to bestow. This is considered that the person feels that he is regarded as a woman, a female, meaning immersed in self-love, and at that time he receives from above the quality of “male,” and he is rewarded with a second nature called “desire to bestow.” This is the meaning of the words “If a woman inseminates first, she delivers a male child.” That is, from above, he is given Hesed, which is male.

But “If a man inseminates first, she delivers a female child.” It is written, “And when the Creator evokes love and desire first, and Malchut awakens later, then everything is in the form of female, Malchut.” Similarly, it is written, “If a woman inseminates first, what is the reason? We learned that it is because the lower world is akin to the upper world, and one is like the other.”

We should interpret this in the work, that if the man inseminates first, she delivers a female. The Creator is called “man,” and the man is called “female,” since he derives from Malchut. For this reason, if the awakening comes from above, meaning that when the Creator brings a person closer, the person begins to feel the greatness and importance of the Creator. At that time he feels that if he is connected to the Creator, he will feel pleasure when near the Creator. Then, a person begins to engage in Torah and Mitzvot because he feels some vitality in this. It follows that the whole cause that obligates him to engage in Torah and Mitzvot is the pleasure he feels now by the awakening of the “man,” meaning the Creator.

This is the meaning of “If a man inseminates first, she delivers a female child.” That is, from this work, when a person works because he received an awakening from above, only a female can be born. It is known that a female in spirituality means “receiving and not bestowing.” We should interpret here in the work that then a person builds his work on the basis of receiving pleasure from this work, and this is what causes him to work.

This is called “female,” meaning that then a person works on the basis called “will to receive spirituality.” However, he does not have the strength to work in order to bestow, since his entire basis is built on the pleasure he received from above by the awakening from above. At that time, a person is born with the quality of a female, which is the desire to receive spirituality in order to receive. However, he cannot work in order to bestow, as it is written, “If a man inseminates first, she delivers a female child,” meaning receiving and not giving.

Therefore, if a person is rewarded, he is shown from above that man must work in order to bestow, but he cannot work in order to bestow. For this reason, he suffers a descent because he is still unable to work on the basis of bestowal. That is, when he sees that he should work in order to bestow and not for his own sake, he suffers a descent because he sees that this is not for him.

Sometimes, this descent causes him to escape the campaign. If he is rewarded, he recovers and begins to see what it means that one must work in order to bestow. He sees that it is out of man’s hands, and then he begins to pray to the Creator to help him emerge from the control of self-love with which man was born, and asks the Creator to help him.

This is regarded as a person having to ask for the exile of the Shechina [Divinity], meaning how to work for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. This is difficult, as it extends from the governance of the nations of the world over man’s personal quality of Israel. And also, one should pray for the general public, that all of Israel will be able to work for the Kedusha [holiness], called “kingdom of heaven.” This discernment, when one works for Malchut, is called “If a woman inseminates first, she delivers a male child.” But “If a man inseminates first, she delivers a female child.”

For this reason, one should not sit and wait to receive an awakening from above. Rather, in any state one is in, he should start and awaken, so the Creator will help him.

Concerning the prayer, we should know that when a person prays to the Creator to help him, we should discern between prayer and request. A “prayer” means that a person prays the order of the prayers that our sages have arranged for us. A “request” is when a person asks privately. This is how prayer and request are interpreted.

We can explain this, since what our sages established, a person should say with his mouth. That is, even if he does not mean that the Creator will hear what he says in the phrasing of the prayer, it is still considered a prayer, since we say what they said, and to them, these were holy words. For example, after the Eighteen Prayer, a person says a prayer, “My soul shall be as dust to all.” Certainly, a person does not want the Creator to grant his prayer.

Nevertheless, a person says it in the phrasing of the prayer as a Segula [virtue/merit/remedy]. That is, as a Segula, saying “My soul shall be as dust to all” can help even for obtaining sustenance, and so forth. This is so because all the prayers that our sages established are holy names, which is a Segula for everything, meaning it helps with everything.

But the meaning of the words that a person thinks, which is according to what one thinks, he should know that these prayers are above our mind. Rather, they are all holy names. We use them as Segula, for by them we have connection with the Creator. This is why we have to say all the prayers with the mouth, since in the heart, we do not understand. Therefore, when we say this with the mouth, we have connection with what they said, since what they said was all with the holy spirit, and they are founded on the holy names.

Baal HaSulam said that although it is customary that when we want to pray for a sick person, the order is that in the Eighteen Prayer, when we say, “Heal us, Lord, and we will be healed,” it is because the general public can understand only according to the meaning of the words, but in truth, he said that we can mention the sick person, that the Creator will send him a cure, even in the blessing, “And to the slanderers,” since all the blessings in the Eighteen are holy names. This is why he said that when we say the prayers that they said, we have a connection with them, meaning with their prayers, namely connection with their intentions.

This is not so with a request. This is when a person feels what he is lacking. This is specifically in the heart, meaning that it does not matter what he says with his mouth, since “requesting” means that a person asks for what he needs, and all of man’s needs are not in the mouth, but in the heart. Therefore, it does not matter what a person says with his mouth. Rather, the Creator knows the thoughts. Hence, what is heard above is only what the heart demands and not what the mouth demands, since the mouth has no deficiency that must be satisfied.

Hence, when a person comes to pray he should prepare for the prayer. What is this preparation? It is written “Prepare for your God, Israel” (Shabbat 10). He says there that preparation is something each one does according to his understanding. We should interpret that concerning the preparation that each one does, it is in order to know what to ask, since one must know what to ask. That is, a person has to know what he needs.

This means that a person can ask for many needs, but normally, we ask for what we need the most. For example, when a person is in prison, all his concerns are about the Creator freeing him from imprisonment. Although sometimes a person has no income, and so forth, he still does not ask the Creator for income, too, although he needs it, since then he suffers most from being in prison. For this reason, a person asks for the thing he needs the most, meaning he asks about that which pains him the most.

Therefore, when a person comes to pray to the Creator to help him, he should first prepare and examine himself to see what he has and what he needs, and then he can know what to ask of the Creator to help him. It is written, “From the depths I have called upon You, Lord.” “Depth” means that a person is at the very bottom, as was said, “at the bottom of Sheol,” meaning that his lack is below and he feels that he is the lowliest of all humans.

In other words, he feels so far from Kedusha, more than everyone else, meaning that no one feels the truth, that his body has nothing to do with Kedusha. For this reason, those people, who do not see the truth of how far they are from Kedusha, can be content with their work in holiness, while he suffers from his situation.

Therefore, this person, who criticized himself and wants to see the truth, this person can say, “From the depths I have called upon You, Lord,” meaning from the bottom of the heart. This is called “a prayer from the bottom of the heart,” on the part of the receiver. That is, he examined himself and saw his fault.

However, when the person prepares himself for prayer, he must pay attention to the Giver. This is the hardest, since there is a rule that anything that depends on faith, the body does not agree to it. Since a person prays to the Creator, he must believe that the Creator “hears the prayer of every mouth,” even when the person is unworthy of the Creator granting his wishes.

This is as we say in the prayer between man and man. Normally, there should be two conditions when one asks a favor from another: 1) His friend must have what he wants, so if he asks him, he will be able to give him because he has it. 2) His friend must have a kind heart. Otherwise, his friend might have what he asks, but will not want to give it because he is not a merciful person.

Likewise, between man and the Creator, these two conditions must be met, as well, as our sages said (Hulin 7b), “Israel are holy. Some want and do not have, some have and do not want.” We should interpret this in the work. The Creator has what he wants, meaning what a person asks—that the Creator will bring him closer and give him the privilege of serving Him. In other words, a person wants the Creator to give him the desire to bestow. At that time, he believes that the Creator has the power to give man the desire to bestow.

However, the Creator does not want, since He sees that the person is still incapable of it because he still does not have a real desire for it, since he thinks that he has already prayed many times to the Creator to satisfy his wish and give him the filling, namely the desire to bestow.

But because “as the advantage of the light from within the darkness,” the person’s awakening from below is still incomplete, and the person must still labor in order to understand the great gift called “desire to bestow,” which he is asking of the Creator. This is called “He has but He does not want to give.” However, the person is considered holy because he is asking the Creator to take him as a servant of the Creator.

Sometimes, a person asks the Creator to bring him closer and give him a good taste in Torah and in prayer. Then, if he tastes sweetness in Torah and work, he will agree to serve the Creator. But to learn and pray and observe all 613 Mitzvot with all their details and precisions just like that, when he feels no taste in this? A person says he cannot do this.

Therefore, he asks the Creator to grant his wish. To the Creator, this is called “Israel are holy. Some want and do not have.” This means that the Creator wants to give to the person the flavors of Torah and Mitzvot, but “He does not have.” That is, these things do not exist in the Creator, in vessels of reception, that it is possible to give this to a person in his vessels of reception.

This is the meaning of “the Creator cannot give him,” since the Creator has no vessels of reception. Rather with the Creator, everything is in vessels of bestowal. Since a person wants the Creator to give him everything in man’s vessels of reception, since he claims that he wants to enjoy Torah and Mitzvot, and this is why he asks the Creator to satisfy his deficiency, to the Creator, this is called “He wants to give to the man what the man wants, and He wants to give because of His desire to do good to His creations. But because the person asks the Creator to give him everything in man’s vessels of reception, the Creator does not have this.” Rather, the Creator has only the desire to bestow.

For this reason, although a person cannot receive from the Creator, he is still called “holy,” since he wants to engage in Torah and Mitzvot. Hence, when a person comes to pray, he should first prepare in order to know for what to pray.