Daily LessonAug 5, 2022(Morning)

Part 1 Lesson on the topic of "I’d Rather Die Than Live"

Lesson on the topic of "I’d Rather Die Than Live"

Aug 5, 2022

Morning Lesson August 05, 2022 Transcription

Transcription is made from simultaneous translation which leaves a possibility for differences in the audio

I’d Rather Die Than Live - Selected Excerpts from the sources

1. Rav’s Introduction: Yes, in many cases and many periods of time our work here and there, we feel such sensations that it is better my death than life. What am I living for, I cannot do anything, I am in despair of my own forces, I do not see the goal. Or that it appears to me so distant that it’s unattainable and so on and so forth. It is also all these things come together to a time that we are learning about today, which is around the destruction of the first and second temple that occurred in Tishaa BeAv, the 9th of Av. This way we join the study to this state, so let’s learn and see what we have to do when it comes to us all sorts of thoughts and states. Why we need to go through them and feel them, why they need to clothe in us and appear in us and that we have no choice. Rather on the way to truth, we need to go through each and every state and understand just how purposeful it is.

Reading 1 (02:05)

2. R. (02:17) It is about Jonah the prophet, we are also reading the book of Jonah and this is what he says, that he suffered so much he does not explain what is suffering from spiritual or physical, emotional. I am not sure but he came through it to that state, what we call that he could not take it anymore, that he did not want to live anymore, because he does not see that this state is good for now or good for the future, not for himself, not for others, not for anything. Then please take my life. This is what he's asking from the Creator, so first of all we have to understand that such states, they also pass in each and everybody on his path to the end of correction.

Reading 2 (3:23) Twice

3. S. (06:04) Do we need to care about adding something in order to reach this deficiency, this feeling inside?

R. We need to worry to reach a deficiency for spirituality to see that it is not in our hands to attain this even the deficiency, even more so spirituality itself. About this to tie ourselves more and more to the Creator because we can receive from him both the deficiency for spirituality and spirituality itself.

S. Praying to the Creator means to tie ourselves to the group and the Creator through it?

R.To tie ourselves to the group, to the ten, to the Creator, to turn to the Creator through the friends to demand and the request from him.

4. S. (07:36) Yes, it speaks here about he cannot reach the quality of bestowal and this is why they are better off dead than alive, in what way can death be the solution to such a state since it does not guarantee anything, only in life I can reach bestowal.

R. First reach a state and then we will see first, scrutinize this first, what is this state from which we say that I am better off dead than being alive.

S. It is just that typically we say that death is providing no solution for any problem, does not guarantee any future solution or progress, this is why I'm asking?

R. I do not know if he is talking about this death that you are talking about, we are talking about the prophet, a prophet is a person who is on the degree that he's speaking to the Creator, he is called a prophet

5. S. (09:03) It writes that it is painful for him, that he is better off dead than alive, where does it hurt him, in the desire to receive?

R. I cannot say, you are asking about somebody else, I do not know, I am not in his place at the degree of Jonah the prophet, that you need each one, to the extent he can imagine the state for himself and then you find the answer.

S. I do try to imagine that state, what happened to the person who comes to awareness of the state of what happens to the person that he won't attain the will to bestow, we wish to draw the light to be in that state. Let’s say today he feels a pain, so if I feel such pain then the pain is not from the desire to receive because I am hurting, because I cannot bestow. Where does this pain come from, maybe because I'm not receiving through my will to receive, how do I know that this is a correct pain?

R. Do not take too much time from others because you are not the only one here, because there are thousands of others. Try to think and feel and later scrutinize what's happening. First of all I usually don't truly answer the questions if the person is ready to hear the answer. If he's not ready then it is not helping if I talk too much.

6. S. (11:03) It seems that the state itself is in bestowal because I feel that he wants, he longs to give contentment to the Creator but he sees that he cannot and he does not see any meaning in the work except to give contentment to the Creator. If I cannot achieve this, why am I living so, can we say that this state is already bestowal, it is not an egoistic escape?

R. I cannot say, I do not want to interpret what is written here, you need to simply attach yourself to the text and see how much you can see yourself in it, for or against, how much emotionally and in this will help you to progress. These things that are tied to the sensation of the Creator in the heart of the created being is very intimate, very personal, to explain it in words does not help.

Reading 2 again (12:45)

7. R. (13:15) In this way to attain the desire to bestow.

Reader continues: (13:15)

8. R. (13:34) We see from here, from the point he said that he would rather die than live because he cannot attain the quality of bestowal, love of others adhesion to the Creator through the friends. If I cannot attain this then I would rather die than live. I am ready to die now because I have nothing to live for, because I want to live only for this.

Reader continues: (14:00)

8. R. (14:23) Meaning to attain a true lack for connection through the group with the ten, the greater bigger group in order to connect to the Creator and to be aimed from man to the Creator, this for him is his entire life.

Reader continues: (14:45)

9. R. (15:03) Meaning we must arrange everything in our hands and to connect ourselves to the ten and to the Creator and to see our lives in this line. If we are in it we are going towards life and goal and if we do not we are losing the path and like Jonah the prophet, he does not know where he is and we do not know where we are and what is happening to us.

10. S. (15:44) Why is it when we have the desire to connect and attach to the friends sometimes specifically for me in my life, I leave all of my life outside of the study, I have a feeling of extreme emptiness as if this is not truly the reality. The real reality is it a truthful sign or is it something that I have to correct in the work?

R. I cannot tell you if it is correct or not because it is true about you are feeling, that you have to see that from this state how to rise to a higher degree and to a higher degree is to be more attached to the group and to the Creator, at least on the same line and in that you have to continue.

11. S. (16:50) Jonah asked the Creator to take his soul, what does it mean?

R. Death is called disconnection from the Creator, it is called death in spirituality.

12. S. (17:33) Is there a way to measure how far we are from this state?

R. No, only according to the sensation.

13. S. (17:51) How to reach a true deficiency?

R. By this, that we are fulfilling this condition from love of the created beings, meaning connection in the ten to the love of the Creator, to connection with the Creator in sum total there is no more what to do and what to say everything is explained in these words.

Reading 3 twice (18:28)

14. S. (20:48) It is not really clear that the king has no life?

R. How does that relate to the purpose of creation?

S. It is written that we have to understand, that we have to interpret what is written, that King David has no life and it has to do with the fact that the creature has to believe that he has to receive all the good and pleasure, how is this related?

R. When a person is in a state that he feels that he is bare and destitute, this is but he feels that he has nothing, it is considered that he has no life. It is not that he is missing all kinds of things in the world, like money or honor. Instead, bare and destitute means that for each and every desire for every thought, every plan he does not have any answer, he does not see it in the future.

When the person feels his own fault and the future does not shine, does not illuminate for him, that he would ever be able to satisfy his needs, then the person says that I will rather die than live. If not for today, if not for now and not for the next or for tomorrow, then I have nothing really, not today and not tomorrow. Then it is not worthwhile to live because the person lives in order to receive some fulfillment, not in a selfish way, even in any kind of manner. This is what we have to interpret what is written that King David had no life, it means that the whole matter of the creation of the world was for the created being to receive that delight and pleasure.

Therefore the order of the work, that at first the person has to believe in the purpose of creatio that it is the creator's desire for the created beings to this, receive the delight and pleasure. This is what we do not have, if a person does not see the present and doesn't see the future and does not have any hope, not in the present, not in the future than truly he says that death is better than my life. Because we are born in order to fulfill ourselves either with the intention to receive or a intention to give but if we see nothing, not in the present, not in the future then our vessel just brings a sensation that it is worse than death, that because in death I feel nothing but here I feel that I do not have, not for now and not for the future, nothing. That meaning, the sensation of the true deficiency, how to say it, it is the sensation of hell.

S. Why is such a state given to the person?

R. It is not entirely a state like this but in part like here and there just like all kinds of things we feel, some despair here and there.

15. S. (24:57) First of all we need to believe in the purpose of creation, in this I understand this is a state of the Prophet.It is a very exhausted state so the question is, should we truly believe that all the purpose of creation is to receive pleasure as the Wisdom is teaching and then in the end fall and reach a difficult state in order to to return to that?

R. Of course in all the states we go through and only in this we will acquire all the empty vessels and the correction on top of them and the fulfillment of them, of course about between here and there. In the meantime we are in all sorts of states that they are half empty or completely empty or that we can fulfill them in the future or we cannot fulfill them. Then accordingly we determine our state as good or bad or in despair or hope, and so on, and here the matter is, how much in the worst possible state, a person can organize for himself such support that if he is in emptiness in a private manner than by connection with others through mutual guarantee, he exits this emptiness and specifically reaches fulfillment.

16. S. (27:02) In the spiritual world there is no time, the state of A & C exists and we are in B, what are these?

R. In the spiritual world there is no time, the upper light illuminates to everybody in a whole manner, but for each and every person where he, is in all the degrees, from here until infinity, the upper light illuminates accordingly and then we learn in the Wisdom of Kabbalah how we can rise on the ladder of degrees and to reach the top of the ladder, this is all.

17. S. (28:21) How should we behave if we feel that even the Creator cannot seemingly fulfill our deficiency, how to behave in this state?

R. So it is very good so you need to connect between you and demand from Him, so the Creator wants you to be closer to Him, that you would connect and request from Him and pray, so that you would reveal the connection with Him and truly grasp Him like a little child grasping his mother, demanding from her, and this is the attitude to the Creator, He wants it, that you need together to reach a connection between you and then connection with Him.

18. S. (29:38) In that state a person sees that it goes against the purpose of creation because he feels himself lacking, meaning in physical and spiritual life he cannot justify the state and the Creator and the solution is only to ask for salvation to get the spirit of life from above, so he understands that the self reception he doesn't want anything, only to have the powers to bestow, the question is when the Creator saves him and give him the spirit of life so the person can continue in adhesion, why the created being does not appreciate this moment?

R. If he is in the vessel of reception then whatever illuminates to him, it illuminates, then he appreciates or doesn’t appreciate, needs it more or needs it less, but the importance is what is he appreciating, the connection with the Creator of what he received from Him, so it could be that the Creator is testing him like giving him a penny, one cent, and the person feels that he is connected to the Creator through this one cent and there are those who received the one cent, but they feel that they have a connection with the Creator, and this is more important for them then everything else, more than other billions they received, it all depends on the person until the person starts to reveal importance in the connection with the Creator

19. S. (31:41) Are we speaking about a state from complete disconnect from the body from the will to receive, meaning I let the body die because I only have a desire for the need for the Creator, who is life?

R. The body, the intention is the egoistic will to receive and there I want to kill this body, this intention to receive and to stand it up in the form of sanctity in the intention to bestow, this is our path.

20. S. (32:28) When we can connect again, what are the options of connecting again?

R. As usual, the same options, to connect between you, and between you to the Creator. The connections are the same connections and they are always ready and available to the person.

21. S. (33:36) I would like to continue the previous questions about the specific state and I heard you say the reason why the Creator is doing it because he wants us to grasp him like a baby to that mother, and it appears that when we are in this state that there is a real deficiency, and there is also a kind of filing, can you give us some advice how to work with this filling?

R. Everything is coming in order to strengthen the ten, that it should connect to the Creator, there is nothing to get confused about here, the path is very simple, in sum total there are two steps, two stages, connection in the group, and within the group, connection with the Creator revealed in the group, and to this we are yearning and then all our actions that we can aim ourselves to the same direction to the center of the ten, that from there, from the love of the created beings to the love of the Creator this is how we really reveal this and this is everything.

S. We transform our impression to a new awakening from below to investment in the friends?

R. Investment into the connection we have to invest into the connection between us and with the Creator. 

S. What is exactly the investment into the connection, this is a question which sounds like a beginner question, but what is investment into connection?

R. This is not a question for beginners, it is actually a question for advanced students, to invest into the connection it is called that we want to depict from our efforts the result of what we will get from it, and this result is the image, the depiction, of our connection that we are forming and establishing between us, like the are sculpting it, and the this is the Creator that we are building, we are making as a result of the connection between us, that we are connecting desires and tendencies and yearning and the things that are bothering us, all sort of things that we are using to connect between us and then we get as a result, the image, the form of the Creator.

This is how we have to see our work, as much as in our tendency we all are building the form of the Creator, the image of the Creator, to differentiate like children make out of the sand some doll, some form, some sculpture, we are making from the sand, this is what we are building out of our tendencies to each other, good tendencies of connection and love, participation and support and through this in sum total we are building the image of the Creator.

22. S. (37:41) If a person can come to attain this state, does he still need to connect to the Creator through the ten or can he communicate with the Creator directly?

R. There is no such thing as connecting directly to the Creator only through the ten.

23. S. (38:18) This state is like a state that a person uses his private deficiency in order to reach a general deficiency?

R. We cannot yearn for a general deficiency, we should constantly yearn for connection, the point of connection between us.

24. S. (38:52) I am used to living next to the quality of bestowal, but not really attaining it, I am a like a rocket that has no power to exit the atmosphere, I’d rather die than live feels like special care from the Creator, so what should we do, wait?

R. There is no reason to wait, always continue, never to wait. Until you discover true connection with the friends and through that you can begin to imagine your connection with the Creator. The Creator is concealed inside the connection with the friends, this is why it is called a concealed God.

25. S. (39:53) If we feel a love of friends is that this step to reveal the Creator, or between us? I mean love is an attracting force in the ten which causes us to overcome the obstacles and connect despite resistance, is that force of the revelation of the Creator?

R. Yes it is, I like this old guy he is asking beautifully, simply, he wants to attain.

26. S. (40:38) When the person is in this state, he hears that he needs to pray and connect to the friends in the ten, he hears the words what does he do after?

R. He needs to continue to pray.

S. And if he still doesn't know how, what does he do?

R. He continues to pray.

27. S. (41:16) A moment ago you said we always learn that there is no approach to the Creator without the ten, and you also said that the prophet is one who speaks with the Creator, is it possible or not?

R. It is possible through the ten, it doesn't matter whom, it can be the prophet, but how can the prophet reach the Creator without being connected to the ten, for him the ten is more spiritual than it is for you.

28. S. (42:17) Can we say that this state is the elimination of the Malchut?

R. The illumination of Malchut is a great darkness that the person feels that there is no way before him and you feel it in very special instances and not everybody can feel it.

S. In these states of zero, in these moments I feel that nothing can repair my broken ego, they can give me a billion dollars, or the best food, or the most beautiful woman in the world, nothing can recover but when I force myself to join a simple meeting of the ten, when I sit there for half an hour without speaking, just presenting, and I feel that I am just turning back to life, slowly. Can we say that the Creator wants to show that the only source of life is him and not in anything else?

R. That is one thing but the other thing is that when you connect to a spiritual source and not a corporeal source, not to money or wife or food or entertainment, it is all the stuff that you have in this world, but if they give you even a tiny illumination from a higher degree, it is already something totally different, so we have to try and get incorporated into the ten, and as you said, I enter the ten, I do not know why but it is influencing me. It is not that the friends are special, no. You are connecting to a spiritual degreem the spiritual light that exists between them, that they themselves might not even be aware of this, but you have a deficiency for it and so you receive it, and you feel the change. This is the best remedy for this state, someone who is in despair feeling, nothing for the future, so just keep going and you will make it.

29. S. (45:28) How do I reach the understanding that the Creator is the good that does good?

R. You’ve reached that only when you cleave to the Creator spiritually, seriously with a light of Hassadim and the light of Hochma for the time of being we yearn for it sometimes we receive some illumination not actual light but an illumination and this’s how we advance but all this we attain only through the connection between us.

30. S. (46:23) Continuing the question from Holland how to develop the love for the friends that it should bring me to the Creator?

R. Constantly ask why, do I need connection with the friends, love of friends, help of friends, it’s only  through that I reach connection with the Creator, help from the Creator so-and-so forth. One enters the other, you cannot reach any contact with the Creator in any form unless it will be clothed in such a relationship with the friends.

S. If maybe we can be more precise, it's the result of my request to the Creator to the service of the friend?

R. What they give you you should take, the Creator is doing all the calculations you need to connect with the friends connect through them with the Creator, see everyone you the friends the Creator as existing in a one system in one mechanism in one Partzuf ,one circle.

31. S. (48:14) Not translated.

R. Don’t worry when there will be the correct connection you will understand Him and feel Him.

32. S. (48:53) I don’t understand if better in my death than life, it’s like a threat we’re doing to the Creator, we’re telling Him it’s like, take my life or give me the qualities of bestowal, or is it a call for help that I am asking the Creator to kill my will to receive?

R. This way and that way you are correct, like I say that take the life you gave me and I want nothing and just erase me from existence, I can also say in no I don’t want this life that you gave me because I disagree with what you gave me meaning I want something else, there’s more there are more questions than answers in that.

33. S. (50:10) How can we understand these states to grasp such a state that we request from the Creator that better my death than life? Is it also connected to the destruction of the first and second temple?

R. Destruction means that we cannot establish connection in the right way, this is what ruin is and these things already happened and because they were and they were ruined we can establish over them today the third temple which is the final one.

34. S. (51:02) A few days ago we learned that the only sorrow we need to be in is the sorry of the Shechina, divinity and here it’s like it’s talking about a private lack. so I don’t really understand what this thing is, what is this lack, is it truly a private lack?

R. When a person cannot come to a state where he establishes the vessel for the revelation of the Creator in order to give Him contentment this is the feeling of the ruin because by the house the holy house this is the vessel for the revelation of the Creator in order to give him joy, contentment, if he can’t do it then this vessel remains in ruin.

S. I need to feel that I feel sorry for it and sorrow for it? Will I need to feel it for the friends for the Creator?

R. It’s included of course there’s no reason to even ask it’s all in that, it’s not that I am feeling sorry because I’m not a vessel it has to be the ten which is connected to the Creator and I can’t reach a state where the Creator provides the fulfillment and the ten provides the vessel, if we don’t have such a reciprocal relationship the temple is ruined.

S. The question is from my lack that I feel this sorrow upon myself this lack actually connects me with the lack of the ten?

R. My deficiency the deficiency of the ten it’s already a deficiency from a different degree and then a deficiency in general of the entire spiritual vessel relative to the Creator because now we are moving towards the complete redemption where all the vessels the Creator created in Adam HaRishon will have to connect and unite and become a vessel for the final revelation of the Creator.

Reading again 3 (55:55) “When a person is in a state…”

35. S. (57:08) Why does the Creator give such states that they are worse than death?

R. A person would feel what it means to be lower than death and above death meaning in life and all the way to the top of life and above even above and beyond the top of life throughout this entire ladder and in truth this ladder is infinite and we don't understand where it begins and where it ends it's like our universe we don't know where its boundaries are, our life is the same we don't know where are the boundaries are life what is before birth and after death we know of a certain small excerpt that we can see from here to there and outside of it we think we'll what is there, nothing before you're born there's nothing and after you die what is there also nothing. We have to attain that but we attain it only when we know how to correctly use it inside life, this is the key, to understand what happens before birth and what happens after death.

36. S. (58:38) Does this excerpt speak about the lack of ability to feel the desire to the Creator and the lack of sorrow and the lack of the ability to be a tube for humanity?

R. We need to prepare ourselves to be the pipeline for humanity that’s true to connect the Creator to all of humanity, this is our state because we are those who are capable of being a vessel with a screen and as a pipe, all the rest connect to this pipe and are filled to the extent that they simply associate themselves with this pipe.

37. S. (59:23) Is this state, better my death than life, is it before the breaking and the ruin or is it in the time of the breaking and ruin?

R. It doesn't matter which historic period that we are discussing, it all depends on a person's spiritual state, the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and so on and so forth also went through these states and came to the states of the end of their correction and it has nothing to do with a historic period in which they existed in this world, because every spiritual root to must touch a corporeal branch but it's not necessary for the corporeal branch to function here in this world according to its spiritual root, they behave according to how they are needed to fit the correction of the complete vessel of Adam HaRishon.

38. S. (01:00:50) Is this state of, in better my death than life, does it repeat in every degree or is it just one time?

R. Better off dead than alive comes to a person when it has to come to a person when a person has to feel it, and we understand without such states it's impossible to advance. Each and every degree is included from all the other degrees and so every once in a while we need to feel the end.

38. S. (01:01:30) We said that it's like we're sculpting the form of the Creator. What's the danger in the wrong sculpture?

R. You stop on the way and you're not advancing, this is the meaning of spiritual death.

S. They're asking about the state in which we are making a sculpture, an image of the Creator. They’re asking what danger is there in forming a sculpture, an image of the Creator?

R. An idol is not something that does not change, and we say no, in every state, in any instance, whatever is happening to one person or to everyone, the upper force is constantly with us in everything we’re going through, in all of the occurrences and instances that we go through we have to locate Him and detect Him and all those states and we have to cleave to Him in all those shapes where Him and us are in some form of connection between us.

39. S. (01:02:50) There's a very clear sensation that we are already like one leg in spirituality. What could we do to get the other leg in, to disconnect from the material and enter together with the friends?

R. We need to disconnect ourselves from our corporeal image, leave this copy, like you make “control c” and “control v” on the computer “command c” or “command v” on the Mac, when you copy yourself into spirituality and in spirituality you exist and everything has to do with the attainment of spiritual life and there you work with all the friends and incorporality you feel that you can dedicate to corporeality as much as needed is in order to simply exist, necessarily so for the reason of, that shall not be neither condemned nor praised, neither more nor less, in order to exist but all your existence you attach connection to the revelation of the Creator in order to give Him contentment.

S. It’s like we're feeling spirituality from the outside but what can we do to really dive deep with our head inwards? It's like we always have something left in corporeality that's holding us back.

R. Correct we need more effort and more prayer, but it'll happen just understand that it does not depend only on you but on everyone all of Bnei Baruch especially your ten but also all of Bnei Baruch nevertheless to make corrections in the stage called the last generation is not a simple thing, you have to turn everyone and get everyone into these corrections.

40. S. (01:05:34) How can I make a real effort to unite friends and the Creator as one between the ten?

R. I can't tell you, read everything Rabash writes about being in the ten and try to try to realize it as if you've never read it before.

41. S. (01:06:16) Continuing our friend, when we’re talking about this point, better my death than life, there is still this fear in myself or is it entirely already towards the Creator?

R. We need to get closer according to what Rabash advises us to do and then we’ll discover these answers I don't want to place conditions that will that will require things of us in the last point of connection because we're still not in it so why should I put you under this condition, it's like you've entered school and they now give you a test from the last class, the highest, how can you understand it you can't even understand what they want from you. So let's advance according to where we are step by step.

42. S. (01:07:28) What's advisable for a friend to remember the purpose of creation every time an unpleasant state passes over him?

R. The purpose of creation already exists, everyone is included there and we have to penetrate this pattern that pre-exists already.

43. S. (01:07:58) A person wants to make a covenant with the Creator. How to correctly make this covenant? What are the conditions for it?

R. This is simple, you are telling the Creator I signed an agreement with you, I'm putting my signature on a blank page and you will later fill this page and sign it.

44. S. (01:08:46)  Where does the person find power to invest in this state?

R. Only from the study and from the friends. There's no other way.

45. S. (01:09:32) What good and pleasure does the created beings need to receive according to the program of the Creator the purpose of creation?

R. The feeling of the good who does good in all of our vessels.

46. S. (01:09:54) Is this the point of the heart that is requesting from the Creator that the will to receive shall die?

R. We don't want the will to receive to die but our intention is in order to receive, that should disappear.

47. S. (01:10:19) What do I need to see this new, the ten, and what can I give them if I have nothing inside of me?

R. You can give them support, nothing but support, you don’t understand, don't feel spirituality, it doesn't matter as much as you can support and lift others you're doing it and then your support even though you can't feel it will eventually become spiritual support.

48. (01:10:53) In a state of death can I feel something in the ten?

R. In a state of death, this I will feel in the ten.

49. (01:11:10) Can I think about my friends and form a connection with the Creator through thoughts of them?

R. Yes.

50. S. (01:11:22) How not to get confused between, better my death than life, because I'm receiving blows to my will to receive, to better than my death in life because I cannot attain the quality of bestowal?

R. I'm better off dead than alive when I'm getting blows in life that has nothing to do with spirituality and it's not accepted. Rather what's accepted are only sorrow, an inability to obtain a spiritual goal, meaning connection and love between us and to the Creator.

51. S. (01:12:07) What does it mean to be in a spiritual process of correction and how do we perform this process?

R. The spiritual process of correction can be scrutinized only in the connection between us just understand that if we're talking about a spiritual life inside of society and then inside the society we wish to reveal the Creator so he would dwell among us this is called spirituality, this is called Kabbalah, reception, if we think of the Creator that He's outside of us and we need yearn for Him each one individually this is religion.

That's a difference that the entire wisdom of Kabbalah exists only in the connection between people, and the connection from between them and to the Creator and all the religions are about the connection between man and the Creator, he cries he asks and that's what he gets, meaning for them getting ready is something physical, groups and prayers and all kinds of holidays, and for us the organization is spiritual, internal we connect between us to one heart to one man, to one connection the Creator is revealed in us not relative to each and everyone individually but relative to all of us.

If we connect the ten we have the revelation of the Creator if we don't connect we don't have the revelation of the Creator that's what we have to come to. Of course in religion and other methods were not talking about the revelation of the Creator but for us this is how it is so, the difference is either we connect ourselves in order to become a community like we have in all periods and methods, the people come somewhere they pray, they do certain customs, for us it has to be the connection of the hearts and then inside the common heart the Creator is revealed.

52. S. (01:15:07) If death is disconnection from the Creator, then better my death than life, is that I disconnect from the Creator if I do if I cannot bestow?

R. No you have to continue until you reach bestowal but according the conditions set by Baal HaSulam and Rabash through the connection in the ten to the Creator, connection in the ten has to proceed the connection with the Creator if you don't connect to the ten it means you have no connection with the Creator completely and turning to the Creator without connection to the ten it's false you're not really turning to Him.

53. S. (01:16:02) How to hold the faith in a state of I am better off dead?

R. To simply subjugate himself and keep on keep on.

54. S (01:16:18) How in that state of, I'd rather die than live, can a person ask for vessels of bestowal if he’s in darkness and he also doesn’t truly want to bestow.

R. By annulling himself.

55. S. (01:16:38) The state of preferring death over life you feel it for a moment and then the opposite the next state is to try to do whatever I can, and still what's the point of feeling that state and crying to the Creator that it's better that He takes my soul, is that just helplessness?

R. Yes, it's helplessness, it's out of lack of power and it comes in the meantime because of the lack of your adhesion to the friends and to the Creator, these things of weakness only come out of a lack of connection.

https://kabbalahmedia.info/en/lessons/cu/Ib3janok