Talks about the Steps of the Ladder, Part 22

Is it Possible That an Intellectual or Physical Action Could Lead to a True Inner Desire?

We are unaware of our heart’s deepest desire and do not feel it. We sense a middle desire, which usually manifests as a desire for various things we are ashamed of. We also feel an outer desire, from which arises our plea to the Creator, in which we as if ask for the strength to bestow and to be brought us to the states described in Kabbalistic books.

But why focus on the outer desire, which is merely flattery and falsehood compared to the middle desire, which seeks only earthly and material pleasures? It is because even in this falsehood where we know that our heart seeks materiality, yet it still deceives us that it is crying and asking for spirituality and the ability to bestow, this is still considered a prayer. This prayer is based on “faith in the sages,” where we believe the words of the author even though we do not fully understand them, and this faith holds effect. Why? It is because this is a person’s only true free choice.

What is an external prayer? It is what we would ostensibly like to become. We believe that we want to love our friends, to be united with them in desire, in an embracing unity, and so on. If we look at this “ostensibly” from a different perspective, slowly, we start realizing that we want to receive it for ourselves, even if it is not our innermost, true desire.

Our inner heart was created by the Creator, but we want to absorb, receive, and somewhat agree with the external, artificial, and false desire. We wish it would be so. Here lies our free choice in our future inner self, in the way we would like to see ourselves. Although this desire is currently artificial and false, it is treated as a real desire from above. The inner, animalistic heart and even deeper, unconscious desires belong to the Creator. The person is completely disconnected from them, and has no control over them.

Therefore, even while considering the external, flattering, and hypocritical desire, we receive a correction from above, which advances us to the correct image and form. The Creator always responds from above, reflecting the gap between our concept of the good that we wish to become and the true goodness meant to sprout within us. This is the gap between the external prayer as expressed and its falsehood as revealed in our heart.

As we gain awareness of the gap between the middle and outer prayers, between who we truly are and who we wish to be, we can better understand the Creator’s response, accept it as a correction, and align with it.

Related Material:
Talks about the Steps of the Ladder, Part 21
Talks about the Steps of the Ladder, Part 20
Talks about the Steps of the Ladder, Part 19

Intellectual role-playing games have become an alternative to traditional festive gatherings. Clerks, managers, doctors, and teachers enthusiastically prevent explosions at nuclear power plants, catch maniacs, and chase after secret submarine blueprints. In short, they fully immerse themselves in quests.

As children, we read books and watched movies about heroes, and dreamed of becoming like them. But later we realized that life leaves little room for cinematic heroism or even simple adventure. So why not play out the impossible?

But there is another side to this: a true hero should be an example to follow, should they not? And not just an example of parachuting from planes with umbrellas or performing stunts. No, a hero should be relatable to us. Moreover, beyond fighting enemies, societal problems, or disasters, they should overcome something within themselves—for the sake of helping others.

Such a hero inspires admiration, the kind that comes with goodwill, because they bring good into the world. More than that, they represent what we wish every person could be.

We all need a meaningful image of a hero who knows how to give themselves to others despite the challenges. And let everyone imagine themselves in their place; let everyone aspire to be like them. Then, when I step out of the theater or leave a role-playing game and return to real life, I will act the same way.
[224238]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/29/18

Related Material:
A Game That Becomes Our Life
Games For Grown Ups
A Game Of A Higher State: Everyone Plays Off-Key At First

Question: Loneliness is a very pressing issue. England even has a Loneliness Minister. But Hemingway’s perspective is different. “Hemingway reflected on loneliness in his Nobel Prize acceptance letter, saying, ‘Writing, at its best, is a lonely life… He grows in public stature as he sheds his loneliness and often his work deteriorates. For he does his work alone…'”

Why do people value loneliness so much? Some suffer from it and do not want to be alone, while others cherish it. What is it about loneliness?

Answer: In loneliness, there is the sense that you owe nothing to anyone. And generally you feel satisfied with that.

Comment: You have often said that you could just sit alone in a room.

My Response: Yes, it depends on one’s character.

Comment: But you were still compelled not to be alone.

My Response: Well, what can you do?

Question: Is that a burden?

Answer: I think it is a burden.

Question: And how did you accept it?

Answer: I was forced to do it.

Question: Can you describe how you felt that call? You could have just stayed, written books—you seemed to have planned that.

Answer: No, people came—some, then others. Gradually, I was compelled. What can you do? If not for this higher obligation, I would not have done it.

Question: Can you say what you would have done if you had not been compelled?

Answer: I would have written books, maybe occasionally given lectures, and then I would go back to my place.
[336888]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/28/24

Related Material:
Is Loneliness a Gift from the Creator?
We Are All Lonely Whales
Loneliness Is Unhealthy

Comment: Broken relationships ruin people’s entire lives, and they can be confusing due to micro-misunderstandings. What is the right thing to do to prevent resentment and broken relationships, and conversely, to improve them?

Psychologists recommend trying to understand your counterpart’s point of view because the result of an action is not always intentional and that there is difficulty with some micro-manifestations because we all apply different standards to their assessment.

My Response: Where are the standards here? It is my standard: how I see others and try to measure myself in correspondence with them or how I see myself and try to measure others in correspondence with myself. This is completely wrong. It is like putting on a dress. If I put it on, my belly will stick out, my arms and legs will look thin, and the dress will seem ugly to me.

There are no general standards here. There can only be one standard: for the good of one’s neighbor. That is all. I do not perceive anyone in any way, neither myself nor anyone else. I am interested in only one thing: whether the phenomena that occur are for the good of man.

By “man,” I mean all of humanity, the general image of man. I do not in any way try to measure myself in correspondence with one person or another, then I will definitely get lost.

Question: How can we correctly understand the point of view of another person and determine whether it is correct or not?

Answer: I cannot understand another person. How can I understand him? How can I get out of myself in order to understand another person?

We simply must act in a way that is good for another person—for everyone! That is, in addition to what is necessary for my existence, in everything else that depends on me, I must act for the good of others.

This is natural. Very often due to our habits, we make some movements, gestures, or say some words or expressions that others may even find offensive.

We may not even feel or understand this. We must tune our hearts. The heart must be tuned to kindness to another person! Nothing else will work.

If a person is warmly tuned to another, it will still be perceived correctly. Even if he says something wrong and fails to express himself somehow, the other person will feel him.

Direct your heart to another person, to all people, to good! You need to get used to this. You need to educate yourself to do this. It is necessary to maintain the same attitude toward the environment, toward the surrounding society, and then everything will be fine!
[254793]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/28/19

Related Material:
The Three Vectors Of Evolution
A Day Of Spontaneous Kindness
Leading The Desire To The Light