Morning Lesson July 28, 2021, Transcription
Ibur [Impregnation] and Yenika [Nursing]
1.Rav’s Introduction: The previous compilation of excerpts about entering the first degree of spirituality, spoke about the practical entrance to spirituality, through our inner changes. What we have to do, practically, continuing until we reach it. We spent more than a year preparing for all of these things and the materials we went through exist in us in some form because there is no absence in spirituality, so it exists. We will be surprised by how much everything that we have been through is living inside of us.
Today we are continuing the next sequence of selected excerpts from the sources about Ibur, impregnation, and Yenika, nursing. I want to add one more thing: as much as we want to get closer to spirituality we first need to be concerned about the place, the spiritual place. The spiritual place is a spiritual group, i.e., the collection of desires, aspirations, yearnings, our thoughts about the ten, that we relate to as a womb. I have to enter as an Ibur, an embryo, and annul myself before the ten. I come closer to spirituality the closer I feel myself as less than everyone, as much as I feel myself dependent upon everyone and feel myself adhered to them. To the extent I completely cancel myself towards them, to that extent I am coming closer to spirituality and enter spirituality. Of course, I have to completely cancel myself according to the situation, according to the elements that Ibur I feel toward the group and the group seemingly presents that towards me.
This is the first degree. It is small and to enter the group, the womb, we will have to concede ourselves more and more each time, from one day to the next, from one day to the next, until we reach a state that my life is only to the extent, I am connected to them. What I get from the Creator through them is what enlivens me, sustains me; it is what draws and fulfills me.
Even though we may not read this in these excerpts, our concern should be about that spiritual place where we develop: the womb, the group. It is not about whatever corporeal impressions we get from each other about the bodies or the character, but rather it is our yearning toward connection and the Creator. This is the place where we can develop spiritually and begin to become Ibur an embryo.
The entrance to the Ibur is the hardest degree. We have been learning in the previous excerpts about the entrance to spirituality. Behind the group stands the Creator, an external force that fills everything and engulfs everyone. According to our prayer, our request, He takes care of the group and me individually in order to reach the state where I am adhered to the group and we have an internal, spiritual connection between us. The very first connection is considered to be through the Tabur, the umbilical cord.
We will reach the state where we feel ourselves as an embryo inside of the womb through prayer. I am inside of the group and the Creator fills, arranges, and manages everything. As he says, the Creator makes a form within a form and in this way we advance. The embryo develops to the extent that I ask the Creator to develop me and I am able to uplift the group. We grow according to whatever form, whatever degree of a womb that each one depicts to himself and how the group, the ten, works on him. So, we grow.
Our work is not for each one individually, but rather to the extent that each one connects to the group and builds it as a womb, as a place where he will develop. His development depends on three things: He himself, the womb and the Creator, the general force who is outside of the womb. We need to pay attention to two points: me and the womb, or more correctly, ‘Israel, the light and the Creator are one’. The womb is the Torah, the upper light, that thought, my connection with the Creator. I want you to start to poke into this, to guess and to search, and then you will find all kinds of discernments on your own about what I talked about. This is very important.
There is one other important thing I want to warn you about: a person is rejected before he enters Ibur, impregnation. We also see how difficult it is sometimes for a woman to conceive in corporeal life. There are many things that medicine does not understand, called ‘the secret of the impregnation’. In the Torah, all the mothers had a hard time conceiving. The Torah is talking about spiritual issues and not men and women. We see that the entrance to spirituality is very difficult and that there is another obstacle that a person feels before the entrance to spirituality.
A person starts to feel that he doesn’t want it or care about it, that he is willing to leave. He just carries himself from one lesson to the next because he is being pulled. What is he going to do? He doesn’t feel pleasant or unpleasant to be there. He feels he has lost his previous desire. This is the transition from a corporeal desire to a spiritual desire.
The corporeal desires he had before, that he wanted to succeed, to profit as usual from his engagements, his businesses, this desire disappears. He doesn’t care. He is like a plant, a vegetable; he doesn’t want to get up or do anything even in his own life. He is willing to cancel his whole spiritual development. Many people leave, they quit, precisely in this state before they enter Ibur. We have to realize that this is the place for the entrance to the new state, and the most important thing is patience and perseverance.
I don't think a person performs any actions on his own, however we can get out of it by holding on another day, and another day, and another day, just like a Rabbi Akiva who lowered his head below the waves and then he was able to come out of the stormy sea to the shore safely.
2. S. (12:04) What is it to build a womb?
R. I develop to the extent that I am connected to that place, the group, the inner force of the group, where all the forces are that I need to grow, to the very first stage called Ibur, impregnation. Forces are established in the womb through my own efforts, according to how much I invest in the ten, in the society. It is as if there is something here, a ten, society, but this is actually what I imagine myself. There is no one here; there is nothing in the world besides me.
However, I need to establish this new internal environment. I want to adhere to them as much as I annul myself as Rabash writes in The Social Articles. The womb, or the group, is what links me to the upper force. I can get bestowal, influence from the Creator from them. The womb, the group, is what links me to the upper force.
S. What kind of action on my part builds the womb?
R. Participate with them as much as possible in the spiritual disposition, in annulment, in connection, in love and mutual help. Don’t overdo it but do as much as possible from your heart.
Most importantly, reach a state where you will be able to raise your appeal to the Creator through them, because otherwise you have no connection with Him. You are beginning to discover, bit by bit, as you enter the Ibur, that the womb, the ten is the place, the system through which you are connected to the Creator. Otherwise, you cannot connect with Him.
S. Do I or the ten build a mutual womb?
R. It may be better to say it is we as ten because you are actually annulling. This is how we will advance together.
S. Is there a way to protect ourselves from that state before conception you warned us about?
R. You should simply know that it does happen in a different degree, in a different measure, to everyone. Usually, we go through it in such a way that a person is able to work on his pride, and is connected with the group, even mechanically connected, and he doesn’t look down on them, and he doesn't create business connections, but rather he simply wants to be connected with them because this is what it says.
He does not yet feel any necessity or urgency, but just like in any other business, he wants to be safe and successful together with others, just as in corporeality. He begins to feel to what extent, this womb, this group, the ten, is becoming something spiritual. He depends on it, like some sort of envelope, or a sphere that he exists in and he will receive the whole spiritual world only through this womb. Also, his attitude to the world, his relation to the world, will be through this womb, to the Creator, the upper force that exists outside of the womb. This is the beginning of one’s development.
3. S. (17:10) How does patience prepare a person for spirituality?
R. It is according to the rule, “shut up this is what came up to my mind”, that we nevertheless need to realize that we exist in a system of forces and they are working on us through a combination of different directions that through that we will emerge as created beings that are complex, that are composed of good and bad. Each and every one of us has the internal bad force, the will to receive which is opposite the Creator, and upon it, we want the good force, the Creator’s will to bestow, to rule. Then as it says, ‘you should be as gods knowing good and the bad’. Our work needs to be with patience as much as we are able in connecting these two forces inside of us, the force of bestowal and the force of reception. Later we will learn how to tie them together, in all the different degrees, through the Masach, until the end of correction, and to connect them so they will be in balance. We advance, we grow, accordingly. This is why on the one hand, ‘one who is greater than his friend his inclination is greater’; on the other hand, his screen, his force of bestowal, is also greater.
I hope that we will start to go through these very important excerpts and help one another to understand them. Again, and again, I want to remind you there is not a single person here who can succeed. Helping one another is really the secret of our success. We are obligated to feel ourselves existing in a single vessel in the process of Gmar Tikkun. This is mostly what we discover. It is not about the individual corrections, like Kabbalists of previous generations, but what is most important for us is that we feel ourselves existing in a single worldwide Kli that includes all of the souls. We need to think about everything we learned, especially in the second part of the lesson in “The Introduction to the Book of Zohar” that we will continue today. You will see that it talks about there also, and this is why we are adding the materials together.
Excerpt 1 (20:52)
4. R. (21:28) This means that the embryo develops through the upper light under the best possible conditions for its development and of course we can say that about each and every state from above we are only given something which is good and even if we discover all of the bad things, these are not bad things but rather it is for us to learn how to invert them into our right matter, right substance, to move forward and advance. Therefore, as it says the candle that is lit up on its head, that this is the upper light of Keter that shines to it and it sees from the end of the world to its end. What does it see? It seems that it actually cannot see because it doesn't understand, seeing does it mean sight like we see, but to understand, but it doesn't also understand where it is even though it opens its eyes it doesn't see anything. We know how this is all a gradual process and in spirituality it is likewise because this is the source for us. In corporeality it is the result of that which means that the whole Torah in its entirety which means that the light which comes in the upper light, that enters the system called the Torah it feels all of its vessels and bit by bit it gradually according to the inner program that exists in the upper light, that program that software starts to work and to develop the vessels. That is, these desires begin to annul toward the light, to take on its form, it's quality and bit by bit they start to grow in this way. There are many stages in that, we will study them both theoretically, we can say that from the study and also, we will try to pass them over ourselves the way it truly happens inside each one of us and in all of us together.
Excerpt 2 (24:17) Twice
5. S. (27:13) Please tell us about the depth of annulment. I have my friends before me and I want them to be ahead of me. What else can be the direction in order to go deeper into it?
R. You have to delve into this, discover this by yourself. The most important is that you understand the direction. Beyond that it all depends on the relations that we have in the group, and on the states that the upper force is placing before you. The most important is that you know that whatever you have to achieve each and every morning is adhesion and connection in the group, in the 10, until you discover the upper force, the Creator. And that state that you are about to achieve is called embryo.
6. S. (28:14) Can you say my spiritual birth is the concern about the place where it happens in the group?
R. Yes. Here in the excerpts, we want to find that they talk about in the group because for sure this needs to be. Intending for this that this thing has to exist already in the connection, in the group, in which we develop. However, I nevertheless do tell you about it. It was for us...still there is a place, room for success in that.
7. S. (29:02) What does it mean to completely cancel myself, love of Malchut?
R. It’s that I don't see myself but rather the 10. That I replace the Creator with the 10 because the 10 is standing between me and the Creator and this is why the 10 for me is the most important thing. As Rabash writes, he says at the end, ‘then I reached a state where there is nothing in the world except for the friends. These are not just some pretty words. It is truly what we, how we discover spirituality. He is not talking about people, he is talking about this concept, that this is how to begin with where therefore we are built, and we have reached this reality. Each and every one of us cascades down and comes down to this world out of the 10 that was ready for him to begin with.
8. S. (30:27) Are there any growing pains, meaning states we have to go through and suffer even when I’m in annulment?
R. That doesn’t matter for us. Suffering, no suffering, it all depends on how much you value the spiritual ascent.
9. S. (30:53) The first excerpt says that before the soul comes down to the world, the second one speaks about impregnation, about annulment in the 10. I don't understand the connection between the two excerpts.
R. Let's say you did understand, what are you asking?
10. S. (31:28) In the excerpt it says that a person has to believe that before he was born the soul was adhered to him. How can we strengthen that faith in the 10 to one another?
R. Should I start reading to you the articles of Rabash about the 10 and about the friends, you are now asking me about that? We are advancing out of the assumption that you, to the extent that you are reading these excerpts, you’re also trying to implement them. And this is how we somehow advance. It’s not that now you need to be ready for impregnation, but nevertheless somehow, we have to concentrate, focus all of our qualities and thoughts and intentions and desires in order to imagine to yourself, what can this be. Annulment means that I annul myself towards the 10, and in it, I reach contact with the Creator. If I annul myself towards the 10 and I then reach contact with the Creator, this is considered I have connected to Ima, to the degree of Bina, to annulment. And then I begin to get nourishment from there. Then I already have the umbilical cord and I begin to be an embryo and this is how I begin to develop from the very first cell.
11. S. (33:28) In corporeality I can't imagine the future state of something, but here what can help us imagine as a 10 the state of the embryo?
R. We have a problem here in this description. On the one hand we are all, the whole 10 as an embryo. On the other hand, I have to annul myself towards the 10 as towards a womb. There are all kinds of other different manners preceding it. We will advance and scrutinize it, the excerpts themselves will talk about it.
12. S. (34:43) In this state of annulment that you say we have to look for, detect, what gets in the way is that I'm looking for the friends to be annulled and that could be a mistake. Should I say here that they have eyes but they cannot see and they have ears but they cannot hear? Does it mean the focus is only on me?
R. Yes, that is correct. Anyone who is disqualifying is disqualifying through his own flaws. I need to see the friends, as Rabash writes, ‘that they are whole, complete, that they are truly on the upper degree and I have someone to annul before. This way I can be like an embryo in their hands’. In the entrance to spirituality, I have no choice, this is what I have to do.
Excerpt 3 (35:50)
13. R. (36:08) This is the first state.
Reader continues: “where he uses only Kelim that can aim to ….”
14. R. (36:58) This means again he is emphasizing that the most important is the entrance, the first annulment, whatever we have toward the 10, toward spirituality, that’s it and the fact that we see the 10 as though it's ready or not ready, towards who am I annulling, it’s all one who is disqualifying is disqualifying through his own flaws. We simply have to do this exercise to make it true and then you see that it does happen. It’s worthwhile for us throughout the day, let's say to make this matter tangible. That we, each one of us, annuls before the 10, well he tries. For sure we will get new discernments out of that, so each one tries to annul and, in that way, one will feel the difficulty in entering spirituality. However, he will learn something from it and there will be many questions, we’ll scrutinize that because that’s the most important. This is the most difficult state to enter pregnancy. Later on, we will discover inside of this state where we annul is already the degree of Bina, as it says, ‘the Lord will impregnate in me for your sake’.
Excerpt 4 (38:45) Twice
15. S. (41:49) What is the sign that will help us understand we have entered the first degree of the embryo and it's not just our ego lying to us?
R. You will see, you will feel it, you will see a whole new world, a new reality. How the forces are operating, how everything is connected in a different way compared to how you thought about it before. ‘I have seen an upside-down world’, as it’s written about it. You won't make any mistakes about being in spirituality, about being an embryo. An embryo is a very important degree. Everything grows from that, the entire Partzuf of the soul. You have to understand that the preparation that came beforehand, the system of Adam HaRishon, and the shattering of this system are all in order to give us discernments, vessels, records, lights that will take care of us. It was a great deal of work before that, but that’s on the side of nature, on the upper one. But after the upper one prepared all of those systems, we are coming out with the feeling of reality from the still, vegetative, and animate. We gradually grow to the degree of speaking, and here we begin to know the wisdom of Kabbalah ourselves. From here on, we continue towards the Creator. Everything comes out of the inanimate degree, the still.
16. S. (43:54) Before that, to annul before the friend it was enough to think about myself and pass my emotions from myself to them and I was ready to be with them. But now, I truly have to have a prayer, without a prayer I seemingly cannot do it?
R. Because today you need to imagine, describe to yourself, why do you need it, how you are connected to them, how do you influence them and how they influence you as the system begins to develop and you see that there are many bits of data here. It is not like when you are a baby and you depend on your mom and you just want to get food from her, some warmth and some care, you want much more and you need much more. Both to receive and to give, to be in mutual connection, this is a sign of progress.
S. It is felt as though which requires to annul even more, to think and to connect to the Creator?
R. Yes, it is to reveal your inner demand to connect with the group and the Creator that is a good sign.
17. S. (45:36) In order to annul correctly before the friends, I have to try to see not the bodies but a collection of expectations, yearnings that are aimed towards the Creator?
R. Yes.
18. S. (46:08) That state of impregnation in the 10 is that a change of the relations between the friends or is it somehow related maybe to the prayer of the 10?
R. We are not talking about the 10 yet we are talking about a person and how he enters conception, no need to run ahead.
19. S. (46:36) You mentioned before in the cases of the women in the bible not being able to enter pregnancy but eventually, they did conceive and they gave birth so it seems that finding light in a place of death maybe you can speak about that?
R. Through the prayer. That we come from the feeling of barren to the feeling of conceived, from one state to the next we come to a prayer, we also see this in the mothers are Torah. I understand that we can't go deeper now, we will go over the verses and what they are capable of awakening in us and we will have to go over it, again, maybe more than once. Because the entrance to spirituality is the most important thing as we learn.
20. S. (48:03) The beginning of the lesson you said that a person before he enters spirituality, he can't even reach a state where he feels, he doesn't even want spirituality, he loses his deficiency for it.
R. Yes, we have such states.
S. How do we go through such states?
R. Like Rabbi Akiva, you lower your head and you keep going, that is it. Although there are states where a person enters, gets into bed and he sleeps, that he can barely make it to the Gathering of Friends or something, that he just barely carries himself. He doesn't care about being alive or being dead, continuing in the group or leaving it, those are signs of transition, that’s the beginning of the transition from one world to another. Because all of the forces, the desires, all of these subjects, the foundation that he was working in are now falling off, dwindling and falling off. He has to acquire a new connection to the upper Force and this is why he is in such a state. We are lacking a few words here but we will understand later, those who will continue will find everything clear.
21. S. (50:10) Is increasing despair a good sign in our advancement in Ibur?
R. We need to always resist the despair and try to carry the suitcase with great vigor because with that we are serving the upper force.
S. Why is it that we who already annul and know the path, who have invested so many years, why are we able to invest in some nonsense of fulfilling the desire to receive but throwing everything away for the sake of spirituality, that we can't do?
R. That is how we learn about who we are as we are all under the grip of the upper force, there is nothing that can activate us. The way that he operates us we behave like marionettes under it.
Excerpt 5 (51:24) Twice
22. R. (53:01) What we need to at least hear is that we are entering a new life, inside our corporeal life we will have another life, a spiritual life where we relate differently to reality, to the Creator, to the world, to ourselves, to everything. That we will have a new quality, the quality of bestowing. We won't be able to behave as we behaved before, we will always have a calculation with spirituality, is our corporeality going against spirituality here, we will talk about it more, it will come out of our experience.
23. S. (54:26) In corporeality when it is difficult for conception to happen is this assisted through different methods as artificial insemination, do we have such things in spirituality?
R. Let's say yes, you will see it along the way, you will learn about it from experience, we learn about everything from experience. Theoretically nothing helps us, the best thing is to realize it through the connection between us to realize through the group we can implement what we are learning about theoretically and advance.
24. S. (55:35) We speak about the fact: to enter spirituality we have to annul to enter the womb. Do we actually build the womb or that when we build the womb, we build the annulment naturally?
R. It is the same as we have to build the womb, build the group where each one cancels himself towards the 10, and then each one tries to make himself an embryo where he accepts everything that the 10 wants, that he takes the form the group wants him to take, he just subjugates himself they control him the way the womb controls the fetus inside.
25. S. (56:47) In the ten we are always trying but we felt we were separated in pacifying the ego and cannot connect with each other, what to do?
R. This is natural. In this way, sometimes it takes a long time, sometimes several years, until people see that they are incapable of overcoming their ego and they have only one thing left and that is to lower their head, bend down in order for the Creator to help them. They will die without attaining what they are after, that you would have such a feeling. We need to try increasingly more until we repeatedly despair and to reach this as quickly as possible from all of our efforts. This is not something you can do as you can't pray correctly to the Creator before we reach despair. It is written about it that it is lip service, this is how you pray to the Creator as if you truly want it. Meaning that after you have tried everything you see that you are better off dead than alive, either I attain spirituality or I am better off dead. Why should I live? In this way a person comes to a state where the Creator begins to take care of him as he enters spirituality, conception.
26. S. (59:21) You mentioned after all of these efforts we would see an upside-down world, what is an upside-down world?
R. Inverted according to my values, reception, bestowing, love, hate, this is where you see an inverted world.
27. S. (59:57) Is it correct to assume that we are speaking about conception, that we are in a period of increased fertility for impregnation?
R. No, I don't know how to say it. It's not exactly as you see it in this world, that you were entering a state of conception. We simply have to grow up and prepare ourselves for a state, as he writes, a person does not become worthy all at once, that the good and the grace shall pursue me, then we come to the state where the seed is blessed.
28. S. (01:01:18) The state when it doesn't have a mouth that exists in a state where it cannot determine anything. In that state, it is no longer a state of punishment and reward?
R. In everything you have punishment and reward. We will continue to learn and then you will think. Don't ask until you acquire enough material that it will become clear to you.
29. S. (01:02:07) How is it possible to perceive through the womb?
R. Specifically through the womb because the womb is the adapter between the person, the group and the Creator. That is the mechanism between life, spirituality and absence of life, which is before that, how to enter from a state that is absent, a state of absence, from nothing to something, this is the system that performs this action. We will learn about it as this is the system that is constantly around us until the end of correction, all of the time more and more we constantly replace the womb each time, it is the upper surrounding light, the upper is not only surrounding us on all sides but actually it has one discernment which is in order to bestow and it is a degree above us and this is how we advance.
30. S. (01:03:57) Conception, is this a matter of luck?
R. No. Will you stop asking questions, since we haven't even started the study. Write down the question next to you and hold yourself back for a lesson or two while we are on this topic, and then it will become clear to you. It is best to ask about what we read just now and not in general as we have nothing to hold on to. I love questions but a bit more of those questions that help everyone advance.
31. S. (01:04:49) The state of conception besides the efforts to overcome above the ego, what are the other actions that we have to perform?
R. We will learn about it in a few months and then you should ask.
Excerpt 6 (01:05:19) Twice
32. R. (01:07:47) The conditions are not simple, he needs to give up on everything in order to enter the upper degree, the first spiritual degree. He raises himself from Malchut to Bina. There is a lot more advanced state in it. The first time is over everything that he has seen. The entire ego he has, now, he needs to then favor the quality of bestowal connection and to continue this way in the group, not just anywhere in his life. We will study about that. How will he see his life afterwards when he starts to acquire the qualities of Bina?
33. S. What do you mean he has no questions, does he have questions that he gives up on them, saying it's not important?
R. No, because if he discovers that everything is in the quality of bestowing, that cancels him, what can he ask? Question is a question about the rein, he has nothing to ask. He is in the upper Force, the force that develops him with love. Then all of the questions are erased, annulled.
S. Clearly the questions he has that they come from an incorrect attitude so first he has to acquire the correct attitude to reality?
R. Yes, the attitude towards reality changes constantly.
34. S. (01:10:05) In that state, I refuse to build the state for myself?
R. The force of resistance that you have, you need to use it against your desires in order to connect with the group, then you use the force of the group in order to turn to the Creator, then you already have a Partzuf of 10 Sefirot. It begins to develop from a drop of semen.
35. S. (01:10:59) What does it mean it has no name, whatever the 10 says I annul myself and I accept everything I get in the 10?
R. You want to be only as one thing to annul in the 10, to cling to them with all of your forces and desires and thoughts, to assist the 10 to reach adhesion in the Creator. You are nullifying your personal self, you have no personal form, how will you now start getting your personal shape or form you didn’t receive it yet? How will you get your personal form without the drop of semen, being like the sperm cell on the condition you annul to the ten and to the Creator. That you begin to receive new forces from the Creator through the 10. That they grow you in such a way that these forces acquire a special form. Specifically, through the womb, you receive the forces that feed you and you grow.
S. You said more than once ‘there's none as wise as the experienced’. So, when do I understand that I can only?
R. You're not wise because you don't have any experience. Are you with us in this lesson or not? Here, we are talking about annulment constantly, what wise, how wise can you be if all you have to do is cancel yourself each time towards more difficult conditions, and this is the case for the whole nine months of pregnancy. You’re not hearing what we're saying, you have to constantly be in annulment and when you do this you begin to grow. To grow in spirituality is using the forces of bestowing, how do you acquire these forces? By annulling your egoistic desire. Think about what we are talking about.
36. S. (01:13:57) What does it mean to go all the way and how do we know we are going all the way?
R. To go all the way means that everything a person can do he should do in his desire to receive to cancel and connect to the 10 and through the 10 to the Creator to advance in this way. To hope that by that he comes to conception.
37. S. (01:14:30) Help us paint the picture of everything connected and united, I am only asking to annul, but there is a state where I see the ten is not connected and I must ask the Creator for help?
R. I cannot go over all those same states that we have learned although we haven't realized them properly, but we have no choice. We have to implement them now. So, connect and turn to the Creator to give you the correct discernment, the correct scrutinies and the entrance to conception.
38. S. (01:15:32) Is the state of conception a state of complete connection to the 10 as you mentioned a state of death to the extent that I want to enter into this?
R. For the meantime, I need to nullify myself entirely, meaning in the will to receive that is now revealed in me then I enter impregnation, Ibur, and the next degree they’ll add to me the will to receive and I will see myself in forms that are more egoistic, more difficult because all of those who are larger than his friends his ego is larger. Then I need to work on my ego. That is greater to advance as such. Each time more and more, left right, left right. This is how we grow. on the left, they add to us the will to receive and on the right, we correct it.
39. S. (01:17:04) Many times we are doing or at least trying to make the effort to annul, to put the 10 before me, what makes this effort a real entrance into impregnation?
R. Nullification of the whole.
S. What does that mean?
R. Meaning that I am truly ready because of the conditions presented before me to cancel myself entirely to enter them and be imprinted in them.
S. I am not willing to do that, I am making the effort but I don't want it.
R. Of course it is an effort, that you don't correct your desire to receive but rather you want to nullify yourself, you request, you are in prayer are you are in actions with the 10 and this is nullification. We have learned over many hours what his connection with the 10 and we understand that we are still not completely in this and that now we need to realize this. Because the 10 is a womb and there is nothing more we can do.
S. Theoretically I understand what we are talking about, I just want to understand practically, what ultimately makes these efforts a true entry into conception as it seems as if I am annulling but I fall again into non annulment, conception is complete annulment what makes this happen?
R. That we want to do this together, that each one helps his friend and this awakens the general light which will influence all of us and then we do enter impregnation that all of our desires connect together and make this discernment, this aspect of an embryo.
40. S. (01:19:36) The excerpt from letter number 19, it takes a bit of time because until we prepare it for the translators and if someone has a question and he is quoting please tell us out loud exactly where the quote is from so, we can translate it for everyone. From Letter 19 by BHS. One cannot be ready for this sublime Zivug, called “complete coitus,” all at once. Rather, “Only goodness and mercy shall follow me,” etc. Hence, the stimulus, which is the beginning of the coitus, is the meaning of “a righteous who suffers.” The Creator has no wish for his Dvekut, so he does not taste love in the longing and yearning that needs “the same thing,” and “the same place.” Thus, one is found in a state of sorrow, which is a Nega [affliction] that is destined to be sweetened into Oneg [delight (the words are spelled with the same letters in reverse order)]. However, “time will do what the mind does not do.” The Creator counts all the stimuli and collects them into the complete measure, which is the measure of hardness for the intended day. This is what the poet means by “Awaken and sound to sever any shout.”
41. S. (01:21:21) What does one feel when he enters conception, what is left for him?
R. He has nullified his desire to receive for himself and is willing to work with the same desires in him towards the 10 or with respect to the 10, with respect to the world, the Creator, with respect to what is opened up before him.
42. S. (01:22:06) What intention induces the state of annulment in the ten, does this start in the connection or the annulment?
R. Within the nullification there is already a beginning for connection because what are you annulling yourself for?
43. S. (01:22:56) How to combine the patience you are talking about with us truly wanting the annulment and the correction right now?
R. Patience is a problem, that is truly correct but it depends what kind of patience could it be that I am very impatient and I want to change states but I am patient to continue on the path, but I don't leave the path, whatever may be. But the states that I go through I have no patience to be in each and every state I want to change them, it is different, it is desirable to be in us in this way.
S. So what patience were you speaking about?
R. I don't remember when we spoke about patience but this is called when I am ashamed of the goal and making an effort all the time to go towards that only.
44. S. (01:24:19) You said when entering conception there is rejection, what are we inverting?
R. This turns into a stronger connection between us, all of the rejections and the repulsions specifically become forces of connection.
45. S. (01:24:54) We are saying that the womb is to group, that I build the group as my womb, what do I need to enter this?
R. I nullify towards it.
S. What is in my group that I have now that is different in the group that becomes a womb?
R. That you need to do and make up your group a womb for yourself, meaning that you need to depict them to yourself that they are all together, connected together and their goal is clear, that they are drawn to this goal and the goal is specifically to bring you inside this womb, inside this 10 to bring you to the end of correction. Thus you nullify towards them and you are willing to go with them in everything, that they shall take care of you and make of you whatever as long as you reach the end of correction, and to the end of correction you reach when you entirely nullify yourself to the entire environment which is no longer just a womb, it becomes more, becomes the world and the world becomes from the world Assiya, Yetzira, Beria, Atzilut and this is how you advance.
S. A question about being active, when I work in an active way with the annulment as I build the group to be a womb then I annul myself?
R. You need to work more in sensation and to find the step and the stages in which you cancel yourself each time more and more towards the ten, in which you are certain there is a force of the Creator in it.
S. Through self-annulment I build it?
R. Yes.
46. S. (01:27:35) In a workshop I annul my opinion when I hear my friends and then the moment comes when I say my opinion. What is the annulment there?
R. I don't know, I don't understand this state exactly and I cannot tell you, it won't help that you're going to try to explain it to me now as these are states but as a principle, I need to cancel myself towards the desire of the group. You are telling me how to join them, as if to lead them and bring my opinion, we are talking about the embryo that has no opinion except to nullify himself. This is something not like what you are asking.
47. S. (01:28:45) Bina is from the word Hitbonenut, observance, when we reach Bina, we observe the deficiencies of others?
R. When we reach the state of conception and we see no deficiencies other than our own as much as we need to adhere to the group, to the society by our nullification, to the extent we can cancel ourselves we see the womb as greater and bigger and we can identify in this group the attributes, the qualities of the Creator. It could be that this group doesn't reveal that it isn't in the qualities of the Creator, like a group of Rabbi Ben Kisma and his students who was small but he knew how to cancel himself and, in his nullification, he would reveal through them connection with the Creator. He couldn't leave the place where he was teaching them although they were small and don't understand and make mistakes, but the Creator operates through them. This is how I must adhere to them.
S. Keter Hochma Everything appears there?
R. Yes, understand this is how it works, it's more, in a bit more we will realize it and actualize it to reveal it.