The transcript has been transcribed and edited from English simultaneous interpretation, thus there may be potential semantic inaccuracies within it.

Daily Morning Lesson: February 16, 2026

Rabash. Art. 1 (1985). Make for Yourself a Rav and Buy Yourself a Friend - 1

Original lesson date: April 06, 2003

Reader: Dear friends, we continue with a series of social articles by Rabash. We will connect to a lesson with the Rav from April 6th, 2003, based on the article "Make for Yourself a Rav and Buy Yourself a Friend 1." The article is in the writings of Rabash, volume 1, page 63, we'll read it together in the Ten. Tens that finish ahead of time, are invited to start a workshop on the main topics from the article.

Reading: (00:57) Rabash. Art. 1 (1985). Make for Yourself a Rav and Buy Yourself a Friend - 1

Article No. 1, 1985

In the Mishnah (Avot, 1), Yehoshua Ben Perachia says, “Make for yourself a rav [great/teacher], buy yourself a friend, and judge every person favorably.” We see that there are three things here: 1) Make for yourself a rav; 2) buy yourself a friend; 3) judge every person favorably.

This means that besides making for himself a rav, there is something more that he must do in relation to the collective. In other words, engaging in love of friends is not enough. Additionally, he should be considerate toward every person and judge them favorably.

We must understand the difference in wording between “make,” “buy,” and “favorably.” Making is a practical thing. This means that there is no mind involved here, only action. In other words, even if one does not agree with the thing he wishes to do, but on the contrary, the mind makes him see that it is not a worthwhile deed, this is called doing, meaning sheer force, with no brains, since it is against his reason.

Accordingly, we should interpret in relation to the work, that the fact that one needs to assume the kingdom of heaven is called “an act.” It is like putting the yoke on an ox so it would plow the ground. Although the ox does not wish to take this work on itself, we force it nonetheless.

Similarly, with the kingdom of heaven we should also force and enslave ourselves because it is the Creator’s commandment, without any rhyme or reason. This is so because man must accept the kingdom of heaven not because the body feels that some benefit will come to it as a result, but in order to give contentment to the Creator.

But how can the body agree to it? This is the reason why the work must be above reason. It is called, “Make for yourself a rav,” since there should be the kingdom of heaven because “He is great and ruling.”

It is written in The Zohar (“Introduction of The Book of Zohar”), “‘Fear is the most important, for man to fear the Upper One because He is great and ruling, the essence and the root of all the worlds, and all are of no consequence compared to Him.’ Thus, one should fear the Creator because He is great and rules over everything. He is great because He is the root from which all the worlds expand, and His greatness is seen by His actions. And He rules over everything because all the worlds that He created, both upper and lower, are regarded as nothing compared to Him for they add nothing to His essence.”

Therefore, the order of the work is for one to begin with “Make for yourself a rav,” and take upon himself the burden of the kingdom of heaven above logic and above reason. This is called “doing,” meaning action only, despite the body’s disapproval. Afterwards, “Buy yourself a friend.” Buying is just as when a person wishes to buy something; he must let go of something that he has already acquired. He gives what he’s had for some time and in return purchases a new object.

It is similar with the work of God. For one to achieve Dvekut [adhesion] with the Creator, which is equivalence of form, as in, “As He is merciful, so you are merciful,” he must concede many things that he has in order to buy bonding with the Creator. This is the meaning of “Buy yourself a friend.”

Before a person makes for himself a rav, meaning the kingdom of heaven, how can he buy himself a friend, meaning bond with the rav? After all, he has no rav yet. Only after he has made for himself a rav is there a point in demanding that the body make concessions to buy the bonding, that he wishes to give contentment to the Creator.

Moreover, we should understand that he has the strength to observe “buy yourself a friend” to the same extent as the greatness of the rav. This is so because he is willing to make concessions so as to bond with the rav to the very same extent that he feels the importance of the rav, since then he understands that obtaining Dvekut with the Creator is worth any effort.

It turns out that if one sees that he cannot overcome the body because he thinks that he is not strong enough and was born with a weak nature, it is not so. The reason is that he is not feeling the greatness of the rav. In other words, he still does not have the importance of the kingdom of heaven, so he has no strength to overcome for something that is not very important. But for an important thing, anyone can concede important things that he loves and receive what he needs.

For example, if a person is very tired and goes to sleep at around 11 pm, if he is awakened at three in the morning, of course he will say that he has no energy to get up to study because he’s very tired. And if he feels a little weak or has a slight temperature, the body will certainly have no power to rise at the time he is accustomed to rising.

But if a person is very tired, feeling sick, and goes to sleep at midnight, but is awakened at one in the morning and told, “There is a fire in the yard; it’s about to come into your room, quick, get up and you’ll save your life in return for the effort you are making,” then he will not make any excuses about being tired, mindless, or sick. Rather, even if he is very sick, he will make every effort to save his life. Evidently, because he will obtain an important thing, the body has the energy to do what it can to get what he wants.

Therefore, while working on “Make for yourself a rav,” a person believes that it is, “For they are our lives and the length of our days.” To the extent that he feels that this is his life, the body has enough strength to overcome all the obstacles, as written in the allegory. For this reason, in all of man’s works, in studying or in praying, he should focus all his work on obtaining the greatness and importance of the rav. Much work and many prayers should be made on that alone.

In the words of The Zohar, this is called “Raising the Shechina [Divinity] from the dust,” which means raising the kingdom of heaven, which is lowered to the dust. In other words, one does not place an important thing on the ground, while something that is unimportant is tossed to the ground. And since the kingdom of heaven, called Shechina, is “Lowered to the very bottom,” it is said in the books that before every spiritual action one must pray to “raise the Shechina from the dust.” This means that we should pray that we will regard the kingdom of heaven as important and that it will be worthwhile exerting for it and raising it to its importance.

Now we can understand what we say in the Rosh Hashanah [New Year’s Eve] prayer, “Give the glory of God to Your people.” This seems quite perplexing. How is it permitted to pray for honor? Our sages said, “Be very, very humble,” so how can we pray for the Creator to give us glory?

We should interpret that we pray that the Creator will give the glory of God to Your people, since we have no glory of God, but “The city of God is lowered to the very bottom,” called “Shechina in the dust.” Also, we do not have the real importance in the matter of “Make for yourself a rav.” Hence, on Rosh Hashanah, the time when we take upon ourselves the kingdom of heaven, we ask of the Creator to give the glory of God to Your people, for the people of Israel to feel the glory of the Creator. And then we will be able to keep the Torah and Mitzvot [commandments] in full.

Hence, we should say, “Give the glory of God to Your people,” meaning that He will give the glory of God to the people of Israel. This does not mean that He will give the glory of Israel to the people of Israel, but that the Creator will give the glory of God to the people of Israel, for this is all we need, to feel the importance and greatness of Dvekut with the Creator. If we have this importance, each person will be able to make efforts and there will be no one in the world saying he has no strength to save his life, so he wishes to remain dead, if he feels that life is a very important thing because he can enjoy life.

But if a person does not feel that life has meaning, many people choose to die. This is so because no person can experience suffering in his life because it is against the purpose of creation, since the purpose of creation was to do good to His creations, meaning that they would enjoy life. Hence, when one sees that he cannot be happy now, or at least later, he commits suicide because he does not have the goal of life.

It follows that all we lack is, “Make for yourself a rav,” to sense the greatness of the Creator. Then, everyone will be able to achieve the goal, which is to adhere to Him.

And we should also interpret the words of Rabbi Yehoshua Ben Perachia—who says three things: 1) Make for yourself a rav. 2) Buy yourself a friend. 3) Judge every person favorably—in regards to love of friends.

It would make sense to think that friendship relates to two people with equal skills and qualities, since then they find it easy to communicate, and they unite as one. And then, “They helped everyone his friend,” like two people who make a partnership and each invests equal energy, resources, and work. Then the profits, too, are divided equally among them.

However, if one is superior to the other, meaning he invests more money or more expertise or more energy than the other, the division of profits is unequal, too. This is called “one-third partnership” or a “one-quarter partnership.” Thus, it is not considered a real partnership because one is of higher status than the other.

It turns out that real friendship—when each makes the necessary payment to buy his friend—is precisely when both are of equal status, and then both pay equally. It is like a corporeal business, where both of them give everything equally, or there cannot be a real partnership. Hence, “Buy yourself a friend,” since there can be bonding—when each buys his friend—only when they are equal.

But on the other hand, it is impossible to learn from one another if one does not see that his friend is greater than him. But if the other one is greater, he cannot be his friend, but his rav [teacher/great], while he is considered a student. At that time, he can learn knowledge or virtues from him.

This is why it is said, “Make for yourself a rav and buy yourself a friend”; both have to exist. In other words, each should regard the other as a friend, and then there is room for buying. This means that each must pay with concessions to the other, like a father concedes his rest, works for his son, spends money for his son, and all is because of the love.

However, there it is natural love. The Creator gave natural love for raising children so there would be persistence to the world. If, for instance, the father would raise the children because it is a Mitzva [commandment], his children would have food, clothing, and other things that are necessary for children to the extent that a person is committed to keep all the Mitzvot [plural of Mitzva]. At times he would keep the Mitzvot, and at times he would only do the very minimum, and his children could starve to death.

This is why the Creator gave parents natural love for their children, so there would be persistence to the world. This is not so with love of friends. Here everyone must make great efforts by himself to create the love of friends in his heart.

It is the same with “And buy yourself a friend.” Once he understands, at least intellectually, that he needs help and he cannot do the holy work, to the extent that he understands it in his mind, he begins to buy, to make concessions for his friend’s sake.

This is so because he understands that the work is primarily in bestowing upon the Creator. However, it is against his nature because man is born with a desire to receive only for his own benefit. Hence, we were given the cure by which to go from self-love to love of others, and by that he can arrive at the love of the Creator.

Therefore, he can find a friend at his level. But afterwards, making the friend a rav, meaning for him to feel that his friend is at a higher degree is something that one cannot see, that his friend is like a rav and he is like a student. But if he does not regard his friend as a rav, how will he learn from him? This is called “Make,” meaning a mindless action. In other words, he must accept, above reason, that his friend is greater and this is called “Make,” meaning acting above reason.

In the essay, “A Speech for the Completion of The Zohar,” it is written, “To receive the first condition, each student must feel as the smallest among all the friends. In that state, one can receive the appreciation of the exaltedness of the great one.” Thus, he is explicitly stating that each one should see himself as the smallest among the students.

And yet, how can one see oneself as the smallest of the students? Here, only above reason is pertinent. This is called “Make for yourself a rav,” meaning that each of them is considered a rav compared to him, and he is regarded as merely a student.

This is a great exertion, since there is a rule that the other’s deficiencies are always visible while his own faults are always hidden. And yet, he must regard the other as being virtuous, and that it is worthwhile for him to accept what he says or does, to learn from the other’s actions.

But the body does not agree to it because whenever one must learn from another, meaning if he has high regard for the other, the other commits him to labor, and the body revokes the views and actions of the other. Because the body wants to rest, it is better for it and more convenient to rule out his friend’s views and actions so he will not have to make an effort.

This is why it is called, “Make for yourself a rav.” It means that for the friend to be your rav, you have to make it. In other words, it is not by reason, since the reason asserts otherwise, and sometimes even shows him the opposite, that he can be the rav and the other his student. This is why it is called “Make,” meaning doing and not reasoning.

3) “And judge every person favorably.”

After we said, “Buy yourself a friend,” there remains the question, “What about the rest of the people?” For example, if a person chooses a few friends from his congregation and leaves the rest aside and does not bond with them, the question is, “How should he treat them?” After all, they are not his friends, and why didn’t he choose them? Clearly, we should say that he did not find virtues in them to make it worth his while to bond with them, meaning he does not appreciate them.

Thus, how should he treat the rest of the people in his congregation? And the same applies to the rest of the people who are not from among the people of the congregation. How should he treat them? Rabbi Yehoshua Ben Perachia says about it, “Judge every person favorably,” meaning one should judge everyone favorably.

This means that the fact that he does not find merits in them is not their fault. Rather, it is not in his power to be able to see the merits of the general public. For this reason, he sees according to the qualities of his own soul. This is true according to his attainment, but not according to the truth. In other words, there is such a thing as truth in itself, regardless of the one who attains.

There is truth that each attains according to his attainment, meaning that truth changes according to the ones who attain. Meaning, it is subject to change according to the changing states in the one who attains.

But the actual truth did not change in its essence. This is why each person can attain the same thing differently. Therefore, regarding the public, it could be that the public is just fine, but he sees differently, according to his own quality.

This is why he says, “And judge every person favorably,” meaning he should judge all the others besides his friends favorably—that they are all worthy in and of themselves and he has no complaints whatsoever concerning their conduct. But for himself, he cannot learn anything from them because he has no equivalence with them.

Reader: We are going to enter the lesson with the Rav right now from April 6th, 2003. 

M. Laitman: (31:03) We heard an article from “The Rungs of the Ladder,” volume 5, called "Make Yourself a Rav and Buy Yourself a Friend." It's an article from the very first articles that Rabash wrote, as new students began to come to us, secular friends, new students from Tel Aviv around 1984-1985. What is "Buy Yourself a Friend"? What is "Make Yourself a Rav"? Why do I need all these things? We say that there is no more than the Creator and the created being. So why did the Creator make it that around a created being, which is a person - there's not one person, there's many more like him, and the whole world, which makes him confused and he's not aimed directly towards the Creator. If the Creator was before me, I'd get along with Him in some way. I would nevertheless maybe escape connecting to Him. But if I were to escape and I had no choice - He exists, and I have to connect to Him, if He didn't disappear from my field of vision. However, the world is specifically built in a way that every time I have to take care of the Creator, instead of all these side things — a friend, society, Rav, books — arranged around me the whole world, family, children, it's really all kinds… so many individuals and details in my surrounding that I just distance myself and forget about the Creator. Even though when I remember Him, it immediately confuses me and once more I come to distancing from the goal. As if each thing in creation - it is written in many verses there, that it was created to serve man, to bring him to a state of correction, to connection with the Creator, adhesion, revelation of godliness - and here, it's the opposite. The whole world around me was created in a completely different way. I see in it specifically forces and desires that confuse me totally. It's made this way on purpose, in order for me to rise, raise through my labor the importance of the Creator. If the Creator was one before me, then I'd be locked into Him, I have no choice, like it or not, I have to arrange this connection, there's nowhere to run to. And if, besides the Creator, there are all kinds of other temptations, things and reasons, as if they are arranging my life for me, they're confusing me, they're more important, they give me more pleasure than the Creator, they determine my life instead of Him, so I truly have a problem. And then, I must arrange my attitude towards the Creator, my relation towards Him, in the connection with them. That's the way the Creator plays with me. As He wants to be important in my eyes, so He makes all kinds of things around me, in such a way that confuses me, that attract me, that appear to me as important and define my life, as if I'm reliant on them and not on Him, until I scrutinize that in truth it's all a lie. And not my wife, and not the society, and not the world, and my fate, and not some nations and countries that control me, and I have to run away from them, but rather that I truly need to arrange each time upon all these disturbances, a relationship with the Creator. If I were to always raise His importance in my eyes more than any obstacle He presents before me, then I certainly connect to Him more and more, and gradually come close to Him, connect to Him. And He knows, He already knows by which order of obstacles or disturbances He can strengthen the connection between us. 

M. Laitman: (37:35) These actions, this process, is called work on the importance of the other, and this is when I see all these obstacles, where the Creator is sitting there - the one, the unique and special, unified, and only His different actions - and pretty strange, it appeared to me as if it's not Him, and I discover from this effort that it's not Him. Then that's how I build myself, and I collect these forces to reach Him, and all these obstacles become, each of these disturbances becomes in me as organs and forces that are included in my soul, and anything I go through is absorbed in me, and such I build myself. Hence, no state was created just like that without a need, but rather to the extent in which it appears before me, to the extent in which it is felt in me, it is all for the sake of my connection with the Creator upon the situation, upon this disturbance. And the greatest obstacles come from the closest environment to me. This close environment to me is the friends. Because a person himself receives from the Creator only direction, the correct direction, as his point in the heart shows this to him. It turns out that he doesn't have sufficient forces to go to the Creator. The Creator just shows him the direction each time, reminds him of Himself. But the force to advance, after there is the right direction, a person needs to attain on his own. And to attain he can only through the society, meaning a person must arrange around him such an environment that will give him the importance of the goal. The Creator doesn't give importance of Himself, on the contrary, He's concealed. And a person, through the society, needs to overcome the concealment in such a way just as if the Creator was revealed. As if the Creator was revealed. And then we have this attraction towards Him. Hence each time, according to these disturbances that become bigger and bigger each time, a person must seek for himself, arrange for himself a stronger and stronger environment so that he will have the importance of the Creator, that he will receive from this environment more and more. And then you will have the possibility, the opportunity to come closer to the Creator, to advance. And this force to advance to the Creator is attained through an action called "buy yourself a friend." It's an acquisition. Why? Why is it something that we buy? I need to find for myself people that are like me, with me, together in the same process, and by my investment in them I will acquire from them forces. These forces, because I invest in the friends, these forces become my forces. I bought them, I acquired them. They don't come to me from the Creator, but rather because I invested in the society, just like in an investment company, I invest something and I receive from there in return some form of reward, percentages or an additional gain. Why is it called "buy yourself?” Because in this acquisition I give something that's not so important to me in order to receive something that's more important. I have money, but I need food. So I go to the store, I look at how much this costs, and how much that costs, how much do I want this, that and the other, and according to the importance of that thing being to me, more than the money, I'm willing to pay and buy it. It's the same here. I come to the society, to the extent in which the goal is important to me I am willing to give to the society my labor, my participation in what they want, just to receive from the society the importance of the Creator. If the importance of the Creator is important to me, if I know that otherwise I won't be able to come close to Him, then I replace my relations to the society, my desire, to a desire for the Creator. I actually... Actually, what am I doing in this action? I'm willing to give them my ego in order to receive from them the importance of the Creator, meaning I'm replacing myself with the Creator. I'm willing to give my force in order to be with Him. That's the action. Just as we said in the beginning, the Creator gives only the direction, as it is written in item four in the “Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot,” where the Creator puts a person's hand on the good fate and says to him, "Take this," meaning go and come closer to Me, and a person needs to be strengthened in this work, in his path towards the Creator every step along the way. And each time, in accordance to how he advances, we need greater forces from the society, he needs to invest more in the society, he needs to see the society as greater, as more bestowing upon him, and thus, only this way he can advance. 

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (46:47) We learned here that the matter of "Make yourself a Rav" and the matter of "Buy yourself a friend" are very necessary things in the work. The question is, what does this add exactly to the "and judge every friend to the scale of merit"? He doesn't quite explain that part in the article.

M. Laitman: There are three conditions, right? "Make yourself a Rav," Rav means one who is greater than me, who gives me direction. But he, what he tells me determines my path. "Buy yourself a friend," we talked about it just now. Rav, although he gives you direction, together with that, he needs to give the student a certain degree of freedom to show himself as weak, sometimes as confused, sometimes as contradicting himself. It gives the student possibilities, doubts, all these questions: is the Rav right or not? It gives a student room to make the action of "Make for yourself a Rav." If the Rav would not provide the student with such freedom to think that he's not great, then it's not a Rav, it's a rabbi, it's a head of a community of Hassids - he's great because he's great, and that's how he's accepted, and that's it. The Rav along the way has to display his weakness toward the friends in various ways, so they'll have an opportunity to "Make for yourself a Rav." Relative to the friend we discussed now. And "Judge the whole world favorably," this means that all the disturbances and abstractions that I see from people, I need to interpret it as these are the representatives of the Creator who come to me to confuse me in different ways, different situations, and that this is the optimal state for the development of my soul gradually and in the direction of the Creator.

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (49:34) It doesn't belong to the friends in the work?

M. Laitman: No, it does not belong to the friends. It belongs to an even more external part of society. With the friends, a friend is when I relate to directly, when I invest in him more to receive from him the importance of the Creator. With more external environment, I do not connect with them, just like with the environment in general. On the contrary, I distance myself from them. Rabash writes in his letter, there's a letter where he writes that you have to distance yourself, and who you should keep more distance from, and so on and so forth, and the more distant environment, the whole world, as we say - other than the friends. Then you have a Rav, which is right before me, work relative to him, I have to do, "Make yourself a Rav." There are friends relative to whom I'm doing this work of "Buy yourself a friend." And then there's a more external environment, the whole world, that I judge them favorably, meaning that they don't act here at all. Rather, the Creator works on me through them, and I see them as puppets, not that they themselves have any freedom to act, or they're guilty in what they're doing. For example, Americans are my friends, Arabs are my enemies, my haters - no, this is, it's neither this nor that. Both are incorrect. 

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (51:24) When a person asks for the Creator, then he has a deficiency. And Baal HaSulam writes that he has to be in wholeness, in joy. How do you reconcile the two? Because this is true, and the feeling of deficiency is correct. It's not like it's incorrect. But how should the Creator make the transition to wholeness, to joy, when he is asking for the Creator? 

M. Laitman: We have two states: states of joy, and states of sadness. They say that they're in a state of sadness, I cannot turn to the Creator. Why? If I'm a little person, or a small person rather, and someone beat me up, and I go to some bigger guy, and I complain to him about it, that's okay. Everybody understands this is normal, that's how the world works. But if the Creator sends me blows, and I cry, how can I not turn to Him with a request? First of all, I can't turn to the one who just gave me blows. Meaning, You just beat me, so I can cry like a child who was given blows by his father. It's the same source, right? But so, if I just cry that, look, the father, he gave me blows. A father in this world has a heart, he loves the baby, has mercy over him, he forgives somehow, right? He regrets the fact that he beat him up. The Creator doesn't have time, there's no future or past, it's not like He beat you up, and then later He feels regret, you know. He doesn't need to beat you to know what will happen later. In other words, either these blows come in order to bring me to a certain state. So, to bring me into this state, before I turn to the Creator in advance, I have to arrange the correct plea. If He's the only one that determines what is happening, and He gave me these blows, I cannot come to Him and say, and cry to Him, "You sent me these blows." It's clear, You sent me the blows. I can't cry to Him and say, "I feel pain," it's clear to Him that I'm in pain. I can turn to Him and say, what? You sent me blows, I recognize these blows as purposeful, goal-oriented, because this is the only action that You do, and that is why I understand that these blows come to me, because I'm deviating from You, I'm not in equivalence of form, and these blows are exactly in that place where I need to correct this disparity of form. 

M. Laitman: (55:05) You know, we have in medicine, we have a doctor here, several doctors here, I'll tell you, there's in medicine, we can disconnect this from the feeling of pain. If we couldn't feel pain, a person would cut off his arms and legs, his head, would burn himself, and wouldn't feel anything. I was like, oh, I'm missing half a leg, you understand? I'm sitting, I'm uncomfortable, I have to change positions. What do these pains tell us, the blows? They say, they point to something that's wrong, and then in this way, they help me, they help me find the right remedy to correct the situation. So, if I relate to the Creator in such a mature way, where I understand that the pain that I'm feeling is exactly from the sources, and with all kinds of states where I have to specifically correct myself in them, and not that I'm trying to contradict these states or remove them. So, my attitude to Him is accompanied by joy, that's certain, because I'm happy that He's giving me an opportunity to correct the state, and to approach Him. The fact that it came through the feeling of pain, well, what can you do? I'm still, I'm still not in equivalence of form with Him, I'm in disparity of form with Him, and disparity of form always brings me a feeling of pain and sorrow. Let's say, you feel the sorrow from your lady, she yells at you, she doesn't let you come to the study, poor thing, you cannot deal with her. On the one hand, you love her and her kids, and on the other hand, you don't know what to do. Right? So, naturally, you try to somehow make peace at home with her. On a higher level, instead of turning to her, you turn to the Creator, who arranged this situation for you. Right? Start turning to Him. The moment you start turning to Him, you begin to arrange at home the conditions and the relationship correctly, because you can't come to the Creator and say to Him, "You're right, it's okay." If you can't clearly see where you're not doing right at home, you go to Him right away. But you have to arrange everything behind you, your attitude toward her, and toward your kids, and home, and your obligations toward the family, and say, and then come to Him and say, "I understand, I would like to have corrections through these disturbances and obstructions, I would like to come closer to You." So again, the disturbance becomes beneficial through pain. What can you do? Later, you'll have other kinds of pains, different troubles. Each one receives according to what they need in order to advance. Now, how can you avoid the trouble? Look for the trouble yourself. Very simple. What does it mean? If we learn, and we exert with the friends, and in the study, and in order to deliberately, with the intention of approaching the Creator, then we see these troubles before they clothe in all kinds of instances in this world, we begin to see them already in our own internal matter. This is called recognition of evil. Then I begin to see these problems not when they come to me from my enemies and all kinds of unpleasant occurrences, rather, I reveal them at their roots. This means that he uproots the torments in their roots before they clothe in various instances in this world. Then I immediately correct them at the root. I don't need any torments, rather, I see them immediately together with the Creator. I add them, I add myself to them, to the sufferings and the Creator, and I turn every bitter to sweet. 

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:00:48) The matter of "Buy yourself a friend," a person that lives in a modern society, meaning all the problems that are created for him are always, there's always signs of what's something not okay, and he deviated from the correct path, and these are natural phenomena on the way of his advancement to the Creator? 

M. Laitman: There aren't any states in a person's life that are happening naturally. I don't know what it means, naturally. God forbid, there are such times in humanity where they go through wars, and people are suffering greatly. Next to them, there can be someone who doesn't even feel it. There's nothing natural that just comes. Everything comes from the Creator, and it's all purposeful. If you want to say that states are just coming, it's a sign, it's as if the Creator is just acting randomly, and that He performs actions without a goal.

Student: So kind of like a response to the incorrect actions of others? 

M. Laitman: I don't need to think of any action of mine that should bring me one kind of reaction or another. For example, I've done some good things in the eyes of the Creator, and I receive some reward from Him. Of course not. I don't do anything to Him. I do everything to myself. I bring myself closer to Him. For the time being, I'm not even saying in order to bestow. I do it in order to feel good. I speak of Lo Lishma. That's it. And even if I would say that I'm doing it seemingly in order to bestow, maybe not seemingly, I am not. You think I'm going to check His attitude toward me to see how the next state will come to me? After I invested so much and have done so many good things, now I should have a better state, a good state. But it's written in many places that it's to the contrary. After good things comes a descent, comes additional will to receive that you have to correct. You have trouble, the kind of problems you have to overcome specifically because you have the strength, you've done some good things, some good deeds. So now, you'll be given something more to do. I can't say from my action now that the next state should be better or worse. It's not my plan. I don't know the structure of my soul. I don't know according to which records I need to advance, what to do, which records to execute each and every moment. It's so exalted, so above me, over my head, that I have no way of expecting what would happen. Rather, I have to each time grow stronger in the state that's before me, right before me, that's it. That's why you're not allowed to do the fortune teller and engage in the future. It's an incorrect approach. The Creator does it, He reveals your soul, and you have to do it. There are no, there's no fortune telling. A person has to say that all depends on his attitude. It's true, there are records that a person has to realize and execute, and these records are predetermined, and they exist in us from the shattering of the souls, the general soul of Adam HaRishon. But these records are in me in potential, and it's up to me how to realize them, as he writes in the article "The Freedom" and "Free Choice," that the seed is a seed, but what comes out of it, how many other seeds will come out of it, that depends on the environment that he is placed in, and this environment depends only on a person. Just like a seed of wheat, if you put it in sand nothing will come out of it, it will just rot. But if you place it in the soil with the proper amount of moisture, and the sunlight, and warmth, you'll get a good produce out of it. Everything depends on the environment, and the environment is our choice 100%.

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:06:07) When there's pain or sorrow, the direction is clear. What do you do when there's a state of confusion or misunderstanding? 

M. Laitman: The state of confusion or understanding, the state of joy, the state of pain, the state of clear understanding — all those states we need to relate to them, each one as the most beneficial state that I need in this moment. And it doesn't matter how it's felt in my will to receive. Rather, what's important is that I feel it, that I'm not in my subconscious living, but that I feel that this is my spiritual state, and I connect it to the Creator, who is giving it to me. And so the state itself is not that important; it could be good or bad, as long as I feel the Creator through it. The Creator has given me that state, and from here on, I have a way to advance. So, the confused state is a state that points typically to an ascent to a higher degree compared to the previous state. Absentmindedly, a person doesn't know, doesn't understand, he's confused, he's trying to listen, but he can't. If he strives, if he labors, he comes to a higher degree through it. 

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:07:45) Pain symbolizes that we need to correct some state. What is the correction of that state? 

M. Laitman: Pain symbolizes that I have to correct the state, but what is the state that I need to correct? 

Student: That I correct.

M. Laitman: I correct the state, meaning I need greater unity with the Creator in this state, and then this pain becomes sweet. The pain is always a result of disparity of form. What is felt in the vessel? What is felt — either disparity of form or equality, equivalence of form with the light. It doesn't feel more than that. 

Student: And if from the pain, how to explain myself…? 

M. Laitman: If I'm just sitting, and I feel pain and I can't come to the Creator through the pain, this is the saying that “a fool is sitting idly by, eating his own flesh,” that's your own heart. 

Student: So this is called, like…

M. Laitman: It doesn't mean that you're working, it doesn't mean you're advancing. Sitting and lamenting your bad feeling, you're just a small egoist who suffers from feeling bad. There are many people around the world like that, and they suffer more than you, God forbid, what kind of torments they feel. So, how different are you from them? And none of them is getting corrected. The correction is only to connect to the Creator and pull myself up to Him. That is the correction. You need to take that step. And when you sit and cry, you are crying about the pain that He's given you, you're not admitting it, you're not aware of it, that He gave you the pain. So, you're seemingly sitting and crying, and if you're sitting and crying, and you feel the Creator, you're actually cursing Him, because He's causing you pain. You cannot receive blows and kiss His hand, the hand that beats you. You can do it externally, you can lie to yourself that this is what you're doing, but in the internality of the heart, where you feel the pain, you feel the hatred for the cause of the pain. But if you feel the Creator, it's as if you're cursing, you hate Him, then in this action, consequently, a person needs to immediately understand and try to understand that the pain is purposeful, that it needs to arrange his attitude to it correctly, then the pain goes away, it's not felt. So, in our world, we need pain. 

M. Laitman: (01:11:03) Once a friend took me to a Chinese doctor after the accident, and he put acupuncture needles into me, and he knew to penetrate to like 40 or 50 millimeters, even more. He was a big expert, he was special. So, I just pretended I'm not feeling the pain. He screamed at me because he felt it, that I don't feel the pain, so he said, "It's not good, don't do that, because otherwise you won't heal." I don't know how he felt it, he has a very special sense, he was really a special guy. He really felt when holding the needle that he put into me, he felt that there's no reaction from the body, that as if in the clothing of the body, there's something different, that there's not a right response, so he said, "That's not okay." So, in corporeality, in order to heal, we have to feel pain too, at least in his method. I don't know why; you have to feel the influence of that needle, and the response of the body, even though many things we go through, let's say in modern medicine, we go through it without pain, we sedate areas, we can operate. So, in spirituality, you need to turn the feeling of pain to a feeling of happiness and sweetness. Baal HaSulam writes that very nicely in the letters, that the same places where you feel hatred, where you feel pain, where you feel suffering, in those same places specifically, they are the places to reveal the light, that by correcting a person's relation to the source of pain, supposedly, that's where the right vessel will be revealed, and the light within it.

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:13:49) Why does it say, "Buy yourself a friend," as if one friend is enough?

M. Laitman: Why is it enough, one friend if it says, "Acquire a friend," and I need a lot of friends. Because one isn't enough, as Baal HaSulam writes in the article "The Giving of the Torah," that the King's glory is in the multitude of people. He also writes that in the Zohar. Meaning, I get inspired; from one person I can't get inspired, I can get inspired by many people, that they are with one opinion with me, that they can be my environment. It can also be one person, but still, it won't affect me right. I need a few. You need an environment, as big as possible, even though in that big environment, I see those and those, it doesn't matter. Every time it could be other ones, that from them I get inspired. I can get inspired from certain people and specifically invest, "Acquire a friend," invest in other ones, but because everyone is connected in one society, so it doesn't matter. And that's how it works, but it has to be a big and strong society as much as possible.

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:15:38) How to see the desire in the friend? 

M. Laitman: I don't need to see the desire in the friend, I have to invest in him, because I get the importance of godliness in return from the environment in general. Meaning, I can invest in the society, and through some friends, and from them, I won't get anything. But suddenly, I'll get an additional feeling, that this additional feeling will help me get inspired from the greatness of the Creator in society that before I couldn't feel. Before, in that society, there was great importance of the Creator, but I used to come here and not see it, it wouldn't influence me, I was like a cat that goes by here. What, he'll get inspired by what we're talking about, will it affect him? It didn't affect me. I just sit here, study some, I don't know, some wisdom there, drawings on the board, and go. And it wouldn't affect me. By investing in society, I get a sensitivity, an additional sensitivity, and then I can start seeing, oh wow, they want the goal so much, they adhere to it so much, they invest in it, and then I get an impression from them. And it doesn't depend on society; it depends on my investment. It's going to be the same society. Suddenly, I'll discover more and more forces that are beneficial for my advancement. That's according to my investment in society. So, I shouldn't demand from them, do this and do that, and cry out more. Well, you need that too. And we do it, right, we have a L'Chaim for somebody who did something good, all kinds of things. We need that; it gives an example, it helps each and every one, somehow. But mainly, my work is that I invest, I get other eyes to see society, and different ears to hear what's going on in there. And that's something that I don't come and demand from someone.

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:18:35) If you don't succeed in getting inspired by the friends, is that a sign of lack of importance?

M. Laitman: A person who can't get inspired by the friends, so the goal still isn't important for him. He still, well, maybe the goal is important, but he still didn't scrutinize who the goal is, that the goal is adhesion with the Creator by equivalence of form, that I can reach that only if I gather forces from my environment, that to this, the Creator gave me the first push. I still… this whole movement isn't organized in me, and then he can't connect the goal with the true goal; he thinks his goal is to know a lot, and to see the whole world from one end to the other, and to feel eternality, to be above this world. He has all kinds of goals, but still he can't decipher the right definition of what the purpose of creation is. It's still not so connected for him with the Giver, with the force that's giving, that he also needs to reach resemblance to this force, to be the giver. And then he exchanges the real goal for some other goal. He puts a different clothing on it that's more egoistic, that it becomes more clear to him. And it's okay, what can he do? That's a result of the state. But still, to try and concentrate more and more to see the goal in a true way, that's closer to the truth, what it really is. And then from that, he'll see that he's lacking forces, he's lacking knowledge, he's lacking something to start with. And he will feel a necessity to turn to society. Meaning, if a person really every time discovers the goal in a more true way than he did before, he'll see that to come closer to it as much as he saw it's more true, more towards bestowal, that it's supposedly further away from him because of his nature. So according to that, he'll feel that he can't take this step. And then he has to remember that these forces are only in society. And because he has no choice, he already fell into the society, so he turns to it with a necessity; otherwise, none of us would even pay attention to the people here. Because he has no choice, that's the motive, I have no choice, I turn to society because otherwise I won't attain the forces to advance. It's just like I need to revive myself, so I come and ask. Only here, the plea won't help; you need to invest and for that to receive, to get forces. 

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:22:38) They say that another condition to advance is to get married.

M. Laitman: To get married, to work, to be mixed with all kinds of external societies. You know, your wife too, she's your external society, more than this one. As much as she can support your spiritual path, she's still more external than the friends, on behalf of the goal, right? So, a person also has to get married because of that, and bring their children, and work, meaning to be in an even more external form, that by this he participates with the whole world, and through all these things he exchanges his exertion with the exertion of the whole world, and then from the whole world he also gets disturbances and puts his good spiritual work into there. We don't understand how it works exactly, but that's how it works, through external forces, and more and more actions.

Student: To a certain extent, "Buy yourself a friend" is also "Buy yourself a wife."

M. Laitman: No, "Acquire a friend," it doesn't mean acquire a wife. You don't have to make her your spiritual friend; there's no obligation, it's not written anywhere. It's not an obligation. A woman, it's written that a person who gets married acquires a cow and a tallit. There's a saying like that, because before the wedding, you don't need a tallit, and after the wedding you acquired a cow. No, there's a depth in it. It's not a disregarding. It's a quote from the Hassidim. It's not to make fun of. There's a hint for very exalted things in this. But it means a woman doesn't need anything. She has to sit at home and serve you, and by serving you, externally, right, that's her devotion to your spiritual path. And from that, she is rewarded. And then, it's not an obligation that she actually joins your path as a friend, but by that, there is also a part in what you're doing. And a part of your spiritual degree, she can feel without making any more efforts, just by serving you in corporeality. If you find a spiritual connection with her like with a friend, that's something else. That's an addition. It's not an obligation. It's a nice addition. 

Student: But then, you do work the way he writes here?

M. Laitman: Then, you have to work with it. Then, you have to divide your relationships to two planes. One is home and family on a corporeal plane, and then, the other is on a spiritual plane, just like with a friend. That is already the friends, or the group, where there's the books, and study, and Rav. Those are the friends. Yes.

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:26:41) A friend who does good to me, it's easy to be impressed by him. A friend who does harm, annoys, or something like that, it's hard to be inspired by him. Is that the labor we're talking about?

M. Laitman: There's friends that I can hardly stand them. I can't stand them. There's some that I hardly see them. They don't make me mad or happy. And there's friends that I feel good with them, and happy, and it's pleasant to sit around them. Which of them do I have to see as the goal that I acquire? Right? "Acquire a friend." "Buy a friend." You can't give one answer about that. I'd say this: every time you'll see what you can do, and that's what you should do. Nobody will tell you that if there's someone you hate and can't stand, but he's in the group, that you have to concentrate on him specifically. No, you still need to be with such friends, that from them, how should I say it… that you feel that you can invest through them. And truthfully, it's not built in a way that you sit on someone, and start bestowing, and giving to him, and connecting to him, and take him somewhere for a beer or whatever in order to come closer to him. No, the investment to "buy a friend" is a general investment in society. It's not like a personal connection with someone that you constantly now have to be locked in on him. No. That's also according to a state that someone goes through every time with other people. These, or those sometimes are in a good state, supposedly an exalted state of spirituality. So, you're willing to kiss somebody that you usually hate, right?

Student: If there's a connection with a friend that you shouldn't have invested in him too much, but you've acquired a friend without great investment. Can there be such a thing?

M. Laitman: What you're saying is that I acquire a friend, means, it's as if I invested in him, now he's treating me nicely. That's called that I acquired him, right? I brought him some chocolate, now he's my friend. We're speaking about a friend, a friend who helps me connect to the Creator. Meaning, a friend is an additional force that I connect to the Creator with. The Creator is the friend. But I invest in the group and in society in order to get forces from them to connect with the Creator. That's it. So, by this, I don't need to make sure I always have a nice, good relation with everyone and that everyone's my friends, just as you want to say on a corporeal, beastly level, that everybody treats me nice, and I treat them. It could be states that are supposedly not good in society, states that the Creator gave them, and we can't measure our state according to what's happening in society. Maybe such confusion, such revolutions, and everybody is in a misunderstanding, and hatred, and nobody understands each other, but still these states are beneficial, and that's truly called a society of friends. Friends are called because each one wants to bestow to himself and the other in order to come closer to the Creator, and everyone understands that this is the method. It's not according to a measuring in corporeal senses. Are we friends or not? I'm looking at them. I don't see I'm really anybody's friend here. On a corporeal level - no. Only a purposeful decision.

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:32:01) Rav, how is it possible to say, connect a friend to the goal? He comes with some trouble, let's say, as an overdraft of 10,000 shekels in the bank or something like that. So he says, I want, I need you to do good to me. I need you to connect me to the goal. How do you remind him? 

M. Laitman: How can I help a friend that is in a corporeal trouble? If a friend comes to me and says that he has some trouble, it doesn't matter what. He feels not good. So, I can take his trouble, I relate to him like one of the group, right? Like a force. That with it I go towards the Creator. So, I take his trouble, right? And start praying with his deficiency to the Creator. That's called "He who prays for the friend is answered first," if I can take the deficiencies, his problems instead of my problems, and with them turn to the Creator, as if I have no other problems and deficiencies. If I really don't have some, that's not easy. But if I also have big problems and I take his problems instead of mine, and here I constantly have to hold myself in awareness that this is what I'm doing. So, meaning, I move my ego aside a bit. And with this, I work towards the Creator. That is net spiritual work. 

Student: And his direction? 

M. Laitman: Why do I care about his direction? I'm asking the Creator to change, to better his state. Meaning to help him advance towards a goal because the lack of advancement to the goal is what brings him all these troubles. It could be a 10,000 shekel debt in the bank, or disease, or disasters. It doesn't matter. 

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:34:45) You once said that maybe it's better to take the thoughts. What is investment in thoughts? To me, sometimes what bothers me in asking something for the friend, if I see that his problem is corporeal… 

M. Laitman: I have to accept the friend's corporeality as my spirituality. What does that mean? He has some trouble, a problem. With that problem, I turn to the Creator, and I subdue my will to receive, and take his will to receive, and work with it. That's called that I'm working in spirituality and bestowal to someone, not to myself. I'm not asking and not working towards my direction, but towards his direction. That's called spirituality. It doesn't matter what corporeal problems he has, even the most corporeal. It doesn't matter. Instead of my problems, instead of my requests, and I organize it in a way that this is how I'm demanding from the Creator. That's called the leader of the nation. What does that mean? One who takes all the problems of the public instead of all his own problems, and with them, he turns to the Creator and wants them to be filled, and not him. They will receive everything, from now till the end of correction, and not him. He's willing for it. 

Student: The question is, what to pray for? 

M. Laitman: Now, you start this, then you'll understand what else to add. You didn't start yet.

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:36:44) When a person feels that pain is actually part of the healing, then he's happy about the state. When he sees that it's purposeful, that it comes in order to advance him to more desire for spirituality. But still, what do you do with the pain? Because the pain is pain. How does he not let it influence him in terms of causing impatience and stress?

M. Laitman: You're saying this, when a person feels pain, he feels pain. When he joins that pain to the cause, to the Creator, that sweetens the pain. He sees a purposeful kind of pain, and then he already understands that this will make him feel good. That the Creator must have an intention in sending him that pain, a good one. This is true for the sacred, still. If I don't make the next stage, I don't advance. I certainly made step one, I have linked the pain to the source. But now I need to make the next step. Why was it sent to me? Meaning, now I have to bring as if the pain back, right? And work with it like an empty vessel that needs correction. So now, I am relating to this pain as an indicator. That it points to me at what should I change in myself right now. Let's say, well, typically it's a matter of faith. I don't want to give such examples.

Question (Petah Tikva Center): (01:39:16) He writes an article. 

M. Laitman (Source Text/Commentary): (01:39:31) And afterwards, this is what he writes. This is on page 350, paragraph this. And then, "Buy yourself a friend," the matter of buying is that a person wants to buy something, he needs to give up things he already has. And he gives what he has already. And in exchange, he gets something new. 

Student: So, what are these things that he lost? Things that he has to give up on during the acquisition? 

M. Laitman: What's unclear? I went to a certain place, called a factory. I gave some hours of my work there. I got money. Now, the money is just something I have that in exchange for it, I can get all kinds of pleasures that I can use to fill myself. With the money, I can fill myself up. There are people who fill up their bank account. And that gives them some sort of inner satisfaction, right? Some feeling of confidence and things like that. It's typically people who lack confidence. I need to finish my life well, another zero in my bank. Make sure my kids have it well, a few more zeros in the bank, maybe a bit more, and so on without stop. It's lack of confidence. But money is an equivalent with which I can attain all kinds of pleasures. So, I then go, and in exchange for money, I receive all kinds of things. That's what he says, that he is willing to give up things he already achieved, the money he already achieved, let's say, right? And then he gives what he already has, and in exchange for that, he gets something new that he wants. Let's say, money used to be important to me. Now, instead of money, I want honor. So I go and use this money for advertisements and all kinds of things that will be said about me because I want respect. Then I go to work. Respect is over. Instead of respect, now I want control, let's say. So I'm going to get control either through labor, or through money, or it doesn't matter, through both. 

Student: But the reward here, in corporeality, it's money. In spirituality, that's what I'm asking. 

M. Laitman: It doesn't matter. In corporeality, money is also not money. It's labor. The currency doesn't mean anything. The currency just means how much do I need to labor? That's it. Smaller coin, smaller labor. Bigger coin, bigger labor. That's it. It's an equivalent. It's a symbol of the labor, the effort, the investments.